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Has anybody ever actually gone to A&E because they were suicidal or just not coping?

265 replies

ABitWrong · 03/08/2009 18:36

What do they do? Do they let you go? Do they involve SS?

OP posts:
mollyroger · 03/08/2009 20:13

she is so stubborn! She is adamant she will not talk to her partner about how ill she is feeling as she doesn't want him to think it is because of her leaving him. I am trying to make her ring crisis people when kids are in bed.

(I'm sorry for typing about you as if you weren't here, ABitWrong. It's just that I feel so bloody impotent. I want to come down there, tell your partner that much of this is HIS doing,make him deal with the dc and scoop you up and take you somewhere peaceful and feed you soup or something.

But most of all, I want you to accept that this is not going to go away by itself and get some proper help. Before you totally lose it.)
x

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 03/08/2009 20:17

The best way to get out of the house so you can phone someone is to go to the shop. Need some tampax?

mollyroger · 03/08/2009 20:19

trouble is, she lives in the middle of nowhere. And uses a mooncup...

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 03/08/2009 20:20

Darn. I bet it's got a hole in it. She'd have to drive somewhere to pick something up (fluffy's clutching at straws)

candyfluff · 03/08/2009 20:28

hope your ok abitwrong xxx

makedoandmend · 03/08/2009 21:00

I've got to go and do something ABW - but I didn't want to leave the thread without giving you lots of hugs and well wishes.

I just wish I could show you the future - because it will be brighter I promise you.

When I was at my lowest I felt like someone had taken the bones from my body. I just existed from day to day, coping rather than living. The only way I could get through it was by thinking to myself that a year from now my life would be unrecogniseable. But to get there I needed to do something today. To ask for help.

You've tried to start that process which is the most important, brave, incredible thing and you should be so proud of yourself. You're not crap - you're amazing. It's just you're the only one who can't see it.

If you're not getting the help you need, then either shout for it louder or try another avenue. Badger, badger, badger until someone listens. This is your future and your children's and you deserve every bit of help that is on offer. If that means going to A&E tonight then do it. If you can call a crisis team then do that. Or the GP tomorrow or whoever.

But in the meantime keep posting and let others help you.

You are amazing and this time next year you'll be looking back, surrounded by your children thinking how far you've come x

ABitWrong · 03/08/2009 22:11

i really appreciate you all being so lovely, thank you xx

OP posts:
FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 03/08/2009 22:23

How you doing now??

ABitWrong · 04/08/2009 00:05

Just feel totally fucking surreal.
I went out and felt like a right twat, couldn't think where to park to phone so went further than was sensible.
Tried saneline first, but they were engaged.
Then spoke to samaritans.
Then tried cmht number and it was a machine which told me to leave a message and I just couldn't do it.
So that was that.

I am useless.

But have passed crisis point.

But it will come back, probably tomorrow, if not tonight.

OP posts:
giraffesCantCatchSwineFlu · 04/08/2009 00:17

Were the samaritans helpful? What did they suggest?

ABitWrong · 04/08/2009 00:26

Sort of. They don't make suggestions though.

OP posts:
giraffesCantCatchSwineFlu · 04/08/2009 00:30

Did they plan with you what you were going to do once the call ended?

LissyGlitter · 04/08/2009 00:44

A+E could be useful, but I will warn you, you will be there for literally HOURS. I have been so many times I have lost count. You need to speak to the community mental health team and impress on them how urgent it is you get help.

Sometimes calling NHS direct can lead to them making an emergency appointment the next day, but you could spend a lot of time on hold due to swine flu at the moment

SS may get involved, there didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when they got involved with me, but it never got further than half an hour sitting having a brew with a social worker who could see that I was making an effort to get better so all was fine. Sometimes they would ring the HV or surestart to get them to give me more support, but only with my agreement.

I have mainly ended up in A+E when I just needed to calm the hell down, and a good few hours sitting in a room where they have removed anything slightly hazardous and either whoever you came in with or some nurse is given the unenviable task of sitting watching you being mad.

In conclusion, unless you actually feel at risk, or have completely lost touch with reality, I would try the out of hours service if possible before A+E. A+E isn't the end of the world, but it is a bit of a pain in the bum.

There is help out there, it just needs to find you. Sometimes getting help can seem scary, but even actually being an inpatient is more boring than anything. No-one is going to take your kids away from you or lock you up unless it is absolutely the only thing possible. And you don't sound like it is.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 04/08/2009 00:47

The samaritans are there to talk to. Have you tried NHS direct?

You're not useless, control is a hard thing to get back once you find it slipping away. You just need someone to keep you up whilst you get some help.

I don't normally suggest this but it's worth your while walking into A&E and telling them how you feel. You sound really down, there's no harm in this, they want to help.

hobbgoblin · 04/08/2009 00:55

I've done it. God it was tedious. I was utterly utterly depressed and totally wanting to give up on everything.

I sat in the freezing bloody cold waiting room, shivering with all these piss heads coming in.

Seriously, I started to feel quite sorry for them all. I spent so long watching all these people - a couple who were all loved up and made me sickeningly jealous and teary; The night staff who were struggling to rise above the low level abuse and general twattishness; teenagers with a lot to learn and a lot of sobering up to do; men on their own one of whom was quite attractive; and so on.

I don't know why but it put a lot into perspective and by the time I saw the psychs I was feeling a bit different. Had a very productive chat despite it being 6am after a long cold and uncomfortable night. Made me appreciate the cosy evenings I have at home a bit, literally.

We planned a plan. Next day was dire - major anticlimax but then the plan came into action a bit on the Monday. A support worker visisted whether I liked it or not and things got better from there on in.

Go, when yo next feel compelled to. You have fight instinct so listen to it and use to your advantage.

weegiemum · 04/08/2009 01:03

Just wanted to say, ABW, I had to go earlier (bl*dy kids) and then fell asleep so will probably be up for hours now.....

I am in Glasgow so nowhere near Wilts, but if you want to chat on here or email then post or CAT me.

I know how bad it can get. I ended up in High Dependency Unit for 2 days once after an od (thing that tipped it for me was kids had nits, am a bit about it now but that was my final straw).

Do you have anyone to talk to. Can mollyroger help at all? Maybe she could cat me for you if you can't?

Please get in touch if you need to.

ErikaMaye · 04/08/2009 09:49

Hey ABW, was on one of the other boards with you

I'm sorry you're struggling, and I really hope today gets better for you. You've got my email address, I think? Please feel free to message me any time.

As for your original question - you can go to A&E for feeling suicidal but you will be there for hours / sometimes made to feel like you're wasting their time. When I had attempted suicide once there was a lovely lady in there I got to talking to who was in there for feeling like it just wasn't worth it. They left her there for hours, and although she felt better because she was in the hospital and not just sitting at home struggling, I don't think they actually did much for her.

Have you tried calling the mental health team today? Even if its just to let them know how hard the evenings have become.

Sending you strength and hope. x

mollyroger · 04/08/2009 10:13

morning Sweets,
please ring the cmht today.

the link I gave you yesterday has this number
0845 900 075
which is 24-hour.....

The problem is, when you are feeling ok, all these terrible nights seem so far away. Until the next one. Which is why I am sounding like a broken record and asking you to shout loudly and get help.

ScummyMummy · 04/08/2009 10:33

Hope you're feeling a bit better today, ABW.

Molly- you could ring the CMHT and let them know how worried you are about ABW. It sounds like you are trying to support her almost single-handedly. That is a very hard and stressful thing to do.

ABitWrong · 04/08/2009 10:43

I don't feel okay, I feel really sick and my head is squeezing but I can pretend it is not real because it doesn't feel it anyway.
Anyway it feelslike there are 2 of me now so if I use the right one it will be okay.

OP posts:
mollyroger · 04/08/2009 10:44

scummy, ah no, I couldn't do that for all sorts of reasons.
ABW is a MN friend and a FB friend and a text pal but I have only met her once and sadly, for us, she lives 100s of miles away (and I can't drive and she is stuck for a variety of reasons)
I know a lot of her story but not enough to be of any practical help or support. I also have no experience of what she's going through.

All I know is she is a fantastic person and a fantastic mum who has held it all together for a long time but isn't getting the life she deserves. And feels a little bit powerless to change it. And is not very well.
And you lot are being just as supportive.

ScummyMummy · 04/08/2009 10:51

Oh I'm sorry, Molly. I misunderstood. I thought you were a local "real life" friend of ABW.

ABW- why don't you call the CMHT yourself then? Sounds like they could do with a reminder that you are in need of support.

TigerFeet · 04/08/2009 11:35

ABW

Listen to Molly

She is a very sensible lady and is talking a lot of sense

You need some help and support. Taking the first step is the hardest. Once you've done it you won't look back. Ring CMHT and leave a message, sweetheart, please.

xx

MitchyInge · 04/08/2009 11:39

can you phone local psych hospital/ward (should be googlable if you don't know already) and ask for an emergency psychiatric assessment or the number of the crisis resolution/home treatment team?

scottishmummy · 04/08/2009 12:16

A&E have psych nurses and psychiatrist.you present to A&E ask to be seen by them
Look at mental health emergencyuseful link

Assessment will involve taking a history (eg previous contact,any medication,are you seen by CMHT)
ask how you are feeling,
your thoughts,your intentions,
what is a typical day like
any dependents,who do you care for
if children are involved where are they.who is looking after them whilst you are in A&E

Crisis team - you usually need to be known to them to be seen,CMHT,CPN ,OT or A&E can refer

if you have to go to A&E
call your CMHT
or GP