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Original poster

can't take much more! :(

311 replies

sparklymieow · 14/05/2005 13:24

Some of you may have read my thread about my neighbours, I am feeling so drained and tired, DH is in deep depression and won't leave the house, I am trying to keep things as normal for the kids as possible, but they are wondering why daddy won't take them to school etc, I feel like I have been hit by a hammer, and can't do this much more, waiting for the comminutty policeofficer to phone me so I can get a letter so we can move as an emergnacy, the kids are fighting and screaming and I keep crying,

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Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 18:06

yes, the ones we are having problems with are 27 and 21, the youngest is 19 or 20 (he is normally at work and we have no problems with him YET!!) I don't know what to do for the best TBH.

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Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 18:10

keep hoping taht they crash their car and die..... thats a terrible thing to think, isn't it...

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jjash · 17/05/2005 18:11

would it be worth getting council to approach them? or will that make it worse for you ?

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 18:12

housing officer is willing to get involved but he said that he won't do it till we agree.

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jjash · 17/05/2005 18:12

its not terrible at all .they are putting you through hell

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 18:14

PEOPLE LIKE THAT MAKE ME SICK, whoops sorry about caps. The should be put in a highrise somewhere and left to rot!!!!

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jjash · 17/05/2005 18:28

according to what i was told - you can either ask council to get involved so they visit neighbour and tell them you made complaint and go on from there OR you find your own way of dealing with it /own way of moving .
its not much of a choice at all is it? But keep logging at all and keep giving housing office a copy .they have to keep it on file even if its not an official complaint .
Dont you know any big 6ft and 20st fellas?? Not being flippant but wouldnt it be nice to scare the hell out of your pathetic nasty neighbours?

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 19:23

they have just started with the music again, going through the wall..... another one for the log.......

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Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:04

what to do??

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jjash · 17/05/2005 22:08

is it still going on?the music?

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:11

no, that stopped quite quickly, just don't know what to do.. if I stay and fight and they get evicted we will have hell on our hands anyway, can't talk to the parents as they are shitscared of their sons (what a way to live, eh?) and I don't think we are going to get moved... sooooo sick of it all. Why can't they just leave us alone..??

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jjash · 17/05/2005 22:17

for you .wish i knew the answer .I would still be going through this if my neighbour hadnt been killed .I had been trying to adopt an i dont care front -thought itd would pisss neighbour off if he thought he wasnt getting to me and then eventually hed stop.Do you reckon that would work ? Or are these lads total thugs?

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:17

jjash, r u on MSN?? seeing you have been through this, I'd like to chat to you and see what you done.

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Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:19

I don't know TBH. have been trying that one but it makes me feel sick facing them, A bloke from the local shops said I looked awful too

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jjash · 17/05/2005 22:20

no msn sorry .Ill keep this thread on watch though .Dont know if i can help , ill try but i DO understand how helpless you feel .

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:20

why are people like this?? What kicks do they get? I just wish they would die...

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jjash · 17/05/2005 22:24

aww hun i know .I dont know how some people just have no moral code.
Think you need to seriously think about the different options you have .Weigh up how bad it could get against how bad it is now .Its a pretty shitty choice i know .

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:28

thats the problem tho. The council aren't listening to me when I say that they ARE capable of carrying through with their threats, i know they are capable of doing terrible terrible things and know they are capable of anything. The coucnil just ain't listening... the police are taking their time and I can't do anything till I have spoken to the police..... sorry if none of this makes sense...

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jjash · 17/05/2005 22:37

dont worry you make sense! Right so you need to give police a kick up the arse first ,then you need to try and have it so you are dealing with one council officer so they know you and your case .
Get a copy of their anti social behav policy /and what it says in your tenancy agreements .Basically i just pulled my housing up over anything they were failing to do .Hassle them/cry down the phone -make them aware that you arent going to go away and let this lie .Sorry if im saying stuff you`ve done already.
Living in fear is unacceptable .My neighbour never attacked me but he threatened me /my friends /my kids .He used intimidation just in his looks .All against the rules in housing policy .If your housing officer is unapproachable you have the right to ask for another or ask for the next officer up.

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:44

my housing offcer is great, and they haven't had chance to give us dirty looks as I don't let him, I ignore them. There has been no verbal abuse but they are playing music very loud when we have put the kids to bed, to get a rise out of us. They are always outside and even when they aren't I feel nervous. I feel sick daily and nervous and don't know what to do. The other neighbours haven't made any complaints and I think the housing officer thinnks I am making it up, though he says he believes me.
I am waiting for someone to come and do an assessment of DS and DD1 housing needs so even if I can't get a move ASAP I will be able to get moved into one of the new builds that are going up, into a house that will be especially built for us.

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hub2dee · 17/05/2005 22:49

sparkly... if you need the police 'on side' you need to help them out. YOU need to call /visit to log ALL the little bits of abuse you get exposed to. Don't wait for some actual massive physical attack on dh.

Report them for the music

Report them for the car parking

Report them for the verbal

Report them for the threat on life

No point just recounting all the shite and not putting it to good use !

Phone the police, or schedule an interview with them at the police station where you can go over everything....

Then when they are 'on side' and informed, hit the housing people with your evidence.

Back the police stuff up with the GP documentation.

Have you had the appt with the GP ? Did you mutually agree some kind of 'statement of impact' on your / dh health ?

jjash · 17/05/2005 22:54

well arent they big men playing music to disturb kids ! God what bastards.
You sound like you have a plan to aim for .Keep it strong in your mind and keep doing the necessary phoning/writing to all the relevant people .You WILL get out of this situation and you ARE obviously strong enough to do this .Its just that you shouldnt have to go through all this in the first place.
Cant i come down to where you live and give these lads a smack.I have a relative whos very big and scary!

Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 22:59

i ain't strong enough thats the thing?? just broke down....

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Original poster
sparklymieow · 17/05/2005 23:11

The girls have chicken pox now and I am thinking of a way to keep DS off school just so I don't have to take him to school, because i am scared shitless

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hub2dee · 17/05/2005 23:34

I think, objectively, you probably are a strong person.

I'm a bloke and your accounts of their behaviour scares me. If you haven't had contact with lots of blokes in prison, blokes out of prison who aren't 'reformed' are scary.

Your dh is feeling very upset / scared by it all, and you're holding everyone together.

You aren't rich, so you can't 'buy yourself' out of trouble.

Two (?) of your kids are disabled and have special requirements, yet you've kept them safe and happy through all this.

But you wouldn't be normal if you didn't sometimes break down / cry / feel like crap.

Take your anger and build from it.