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Original poster

I have to go ut in 10 minutes but I really need a hug and for someone else to be me.. get the kids, etc etc but there is no one

123 replies

Nabster · 25/03/2009 14:34

here

can't stop crying

OP posts:
Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 10:24

I am here. Having a tidy up. Keeping busy helps and if downstairs looks better it helps me.

I am on a high dose of AD's and see my GP every 1-3months depending on how I am. He has no idea I tried to kill myself.

I saw a pyschiatrist on the 13th, woke up very upset on the 14th, tried to kill myself on the 15th and told her on the 17th. Really wanted too again on the 18th and have had a couple of times when I really wanted to drive the car into a wall.

OP posts:
Lindenlass · 26/03/2009 10:30

And do I have it right that your psych wasn't v. helpful when you told her? Can you ask for a referral from your GP to someone else? Is your GP helpful?

I really think ringing them now for an emergency appt today is v. important. Be honest and also, if your psych isn't helpful, tell your GP that too. You need to get the right help.

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 10:36

I told psych I wasn't happy.

She rang yesterday and said I qualify for treatment but didn't ring me back yesterday afternoonto tell me how long I will have to wait to see the assessor.

As usual I feel I will have to do this on my own.

OP posts:
Lindenlass · 26/03/2009 10:39

and . Are you able to ring her directly?

Lindenlass · 26/03/2009 10:39

Or can your dh ring her and stress how bad things are? Does he know you you attempted suicide?

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 10:51

She told me she didn't ring me as there was nothing to tell so I guess it will be same now. She has given me a number to ring if I feel desperate but there is no build up and if I get to the phone the moment has passed anyway so there is no point ringing.

DH knows. I feel so crap at making him worry so much about me. He has enough on at work.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 26/03/2009 11:07

oh glad you replied

If you feel desperate again you must phone the samaritans,they can talk you through the crisis point. As you say, it passes quite quickly, probably when you realise what you are thinking about doing which is a good sign.

justaboutback · 26/03/2009 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 11:19

She has already said she can't offer me anything else, even when I said I would cry if I had to wait until Monday. I could have seen a different GP but don't want to go over everything again. I find in the past it isn't great.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 26/03/2009 11:33

Do you feel that you need to be admitted to a psych ward nab?

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 12:11

I don't know.

It would be nice in that I would hopefully get a rest but I haven't got time to be away.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 26/03/2009 12:19

I don't think many people have time to go into hospital but it is a case of 'needs must' and all that.

Things would be put in place to look after your DC and you would be able to deal with all these issues that have been rambling on underneath.

dollius · 26/03/2009 12:20

See the other GP Nab, they make pretty thorough notes and you just need to say that you are feeling much, much worse and are feeling suicidal. The GP will take this seriously.

Please, try to get an appointment with anyone today - tell the receptionist it is an emergency.

I'm so sorry this is proving to be such an obstacle course for you, Nab. It's not fair at all.

poopscoop · 26/03/2009 12:20

rumbling sorry!

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 15:56

Rang back.

Told receptionist was desperate.

Said appointment to book was weeks away. Told her I might not be here then.

Nothing.

I wonder why I want to give up.

Just wanted to smash the car on the way home.

I am bloody trying but feel like everything is against me.

I have been through worse stuff but can't deal with this.

OP posts:
thecatintheflat · 26/03/2009 16:04

hello. sorry, i don't post a lot but i think you should ring someone now (not your gp ) if you are feeling the way you do (went through something v similar myself a few years back)
please don't worry about your dh workload - you are much more important...

thecatintheflat · 26/03/2009 16:16

are you okay Nabster?

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 16:17

not really

OP posts:
thecatintheflat · 26/03/2009 16:18

is there a psyc ward/hospital in your area

thecatintheflat · 26/03/2009 16:21

there is a mental health page you can click (i am new and pants - don't know your history sorry) but i am around if you want to talk

Peeingmyselflaughing · 26/03/2009 16:24

Nabster, saw your post in Allergies & remembered this thread, please please keep talking to people, I know everything seems to gang up on you sometimes but there are obviously people here and your DC who love you very much and will listen to you for as long as you need it. Have been where you are many times since teens, keep hanging on and live for each second. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

poshwellies · 26/03/2009 16:26

08457 90 90 90

I've called them when suicidal before.It helped me ,even if it was just 15mins.

CALL THEM if you aren't getting through to your support team.

GColdtimer · 26/03/2009 16:30

call them nabster. It also sounds like you need to call your DH to come home now.

Original poster
Nabster · 26/03/2009 16:32

What is that number for?

I am thinking I really want to go to bed but I can't leave the kids alone, can I? They are watching tv (2dcs) and 1dc in his room.

OP posts:
poshwellies · 26/03/2009 16:32

Samaritians.