I have to go ut in 10 minutes but I really need a hug and for someone else to be me.. get the kids, etc etc but there is no one

[Nabster]

here

can't stop crying

what time does your DH get home normally. how old are your dcs?

dh just rang, will leave as soon as he can, normally home at 6.15

kids are 3 5 8

Get your duvet/blanket and curl up with the kids in front of the TV. Whatever it takes, just do what makes you feel better. How old are DC?

oops, x-post!

Make yourself a cup of tea, phone the samaritans and wait for your DH to come home.

Sure they'll be ok if you're in the bedroom with the door open - especially with the TV on!

how was your meeting the other night?

have you called the crisis team?

if you feel you are going to want to hurt yourself , then you can present at A&E.

And nothing wrong with having a lie down either if it will help.

Meeting was okay though my story did push buttons with 2 others.

No idea what the crisis team is.

so crap you can't see a doctor when you need one.

left message saying things have got worse. he doesn't know what though.

Could you ask your doctor to phone you at the end of his evenng surgery. ours will do this quite often.

Have you been allocated a mental health nurse nabs?

I'm meant to be ringing back at 5.15

poshw - no

30 mins then..

Please PLEASE call the Samaritians if you get a wave of those feelings again.

I am off for a bit

the samaritans can keep you grounded if you call them now for 30 mins, and then you can speak to doc at 5.15 if you feel bad at the mo

hope you are doing OK nabster.

Dh home at 6 and has made dinner.

Has put kids to bed.

Doctor never rang.

Looking forward to bed.

Need a plan for what I am doing tomorrow.

Dh might be able to come home early and MIL is having the kids overnight.

that all sounds good nabster. Can you write down what you are going to do tonight so you have some things on. Can you plan to go shopping/the library with your 3 year old/meet someone for a coffee/soft play/swimming. I don't know, just have a few things arranged so you get up with a purpose.

It probably sounds woefully inadequate in comparison to what you are doing through but it might just give you some focus.

In the longer term though, you need much better support. I don't know much about it, but your doctor needs to treat this seriously and as an urgent case. Phone again and tell the receptionist you need to urgently speak to a doctor. If you get desparate, phone the samaritans. Or if you are thinking of self-harming go to A&E.

I have to go now because PIL coming round for dinner. I hope you are feeling a bit better than you were.

Nabster, your doctor sounds unhelpful. Is there any other in the practice you can transfer to?

Have you made a plan for tomorrow yet?

nabster - can your DH make a few phonecalls for you? He knows the situation and may be able to get intouch with someone who is actually willing to help out immediately?

Your post says that you were calling them at 5.15 and you say they didn't call you? Is that because you were meant to call them?

If you are having so little luck trying to get help, then your DH needs to get involved.

DH agreed there wasn't much point ringing the GP. I left a message and the receptionist said she would pass it on. Have to decide if there is any point ringing tomorrow when I have already been told there are no appointments tomorrow.

DH wants curry tomorrow so I might go out to buy the food in the morning.

DS2 will be at playschool in the morning and I have no friends to meet up with. I do have a £5 voucher to spend at Wallis though..

Is it too early for bed....?

Nabster - I've been lurking on your threads for past few days but thought I might say hello and offer a few words of advice, having been in a sort of similar situation a few years ago.

If you're honestly feeling suicidal, then you have a choice as to whether you think you need to be admitted onto a mental health ward. They can keep you safe (they'll put you on timed observations, normally every 15 mins) and stop you hurting yourself. Downside is that the places are horrific and very scary. It's very disconcerting being around some truly crazy people, and it's not nice having someone shine a torch into your face throughout the night to check that you're alive.

I'm not sure of your background or how long you've been depressed etc. In terms of suicidal thoughts, are these something that you want to follow through with? Do you think that suicide will bring peace and closure? Or do you feel that if you attempt suicide, it will highlight the fact that you are in such unbearable pain? For me, it was often the latter, rather than the former.

Do you have any kind of diagnosis? Depression? Bipolar? BPD?

If you genuinely feel unsafe and want help, then if you go to A&E, they'll have to ensure that someone from psych comes and sees you. They're often reluctant to admit people onto a mental health unit, especially if you've never been an in-patient before and generally want to manage mental health issues outside of a ward. Nonetheless, insist if you feel you need to be admitted.

I hope some of this makes sense and helps in some way.

When I used to tell my DH I wanted to die it was because I wanted all this crap over. When I actually tried to kill myself I just felt calm and very happy it was all going to be over soon. Feels like it is the only way it is ever going to be over as I have seen doctors for years and I am no further forward.

I am just so tired, cold, unhappy, stressed, and lonely.

I used to be full of energy, happy enough, funny and I had friends.

Have you been an in-patient before? Would it be better to be in a position where you're completely safe, or can you survive at home, with each hour mapped out, getting through things minute-by-minute?