Anyone who’s been following will know I’ve had struggles with my change in my diagnosis which has left me with little support.
I’ve been taken off antipsychotics and been told I will not be allowed them again as I’m not psychotic. This has left me with severe hallucinations and visions that plague me constantly. I cannot drive although my last psych got my license back but I find the voices too distracting and am too scared I will hurt somebody as they tell me to do so.
I self harm daily as the voices give me the option of hurting myself or others.
My drs say they cannot do anything as the psych diagnosis now is PD.
I sleep about 3 hours a night, broken.
I very rarely leave the house.
Samaritans and local charities tell me to go to A and E. The GP sent an ambulance last week. The MH team in A and E send me home as they say I’m attention seeking due to PD.
The psych said he did not believe I hallucinate, he said I’m a fantasist despite 6 previous sections for psychosis and 4 more voluntary admissions. I’m not allowed hospital treatment now as they say it’s not appropriate for PD.
I have put in two complaints, one they rejected, the other is now being investigated.
I’ve requested justification of the PD diagnosis referencing the criteria and why I don’t believe it is appropriate. No response.
My family have raised concerns and been ignored.
I’ve requested to move team with no response. I’ve been denied any further psych appointments.
Local support groups say I am too unwell for them to manage. I have an advocate whose advice was the complaint.
I’ve done online courses through a local provider that I was referred to by the MH team. I’ve done them in PD, complex trauma (I have no trauma profile), managing emotions, self harm. All course deliverers have said present differently to the norm although the PD course deliverers today said that I could still have it with no trauma profile, no history of emotional difficulties, no relationship issues etc. which seemed strange to me but they are the experts I guess!
I’ve a detailed suicide plan. My affairs are organised for post death. My family are aware. I’m told I’m attention seeking by services and that my hallucinations are fantasy.
Is there anything else I can try? I’m so so close to giving up…