To feel like mental health services are abusing me

[Westendtown]

I’m struggling living alone and want to be in supported housing. For reference other professionals have said I’m clearly not doing well when I’ve had paramedics and police to my accommodation. They just won’t accept this and keep telling me I’m too capable for supported living because I’m a uni student and volunteer. I do this to give me a focus as I would completely spiral without it. Again they can’t see this. Nearly every night I’m crying and struggling. My rooms a mess with fruits flies and I don’t even know how to start sorting it. My hairs matted yet they are telling me I’m fine it feels like gas lighting as it’s making me like I’m making this up and maybe I’m fine. I have care in place but don’t feel it’s what I need as I’m still struggling a lot and don’t have hours when I really need them most at night. I’m at a loss what to do as they just won’t listen to me, do you think I’m attention seeking?

I wonder if they have another diagnosis alongside maybe.

Yes ptsd which is similar to eupd and also inpatient isn’t recommended completely different obviously for people with bi polar etc

No I expected my mental health team to follow up yes that’s the policy

It does not matter. Focusing on other patients wont help you and will just hold you back. I used to do this a lot. I felt like there was a big black cross against my name that meant I was being treated poorly, and that everyone else had all the help in the world given to them.
I speak from experience. My MH team actually helped when I was receptive to help. Lashing out, accusing them of treating me different etc meant they saw that they were not helping me so what was the point in them seeing me.

There is a DBT skill called 'Check the Facts' which you might find useful in this situation. Lots of videos on YouTube about it if you want to check it out.

What does the actual support that you want look like to you OP?

You say you don't know how to make a bed.

To you, does support mean that you expect someone to a) make the bed for you every day b) show you how to make the bed c) find an online bed making video for you to watch

I'm just trying to understand what level of support you think you need.

You have repeatedly refused to answer the most important question regarding yesterday's A&E trip - who called the ambulance? The answer means an entirely different 'follow up' plan as per policy....

Oh I see. Strange.

So do you want to be hospitalised? I’ve begged to be put in hospital recently and so have my family but have been told no.

I thought you didn’t want hospital? I think you need to focus on exactly what you DO want.

I know you say you want supported living but if they’re denying you that, what else could help?

I don’t I’m just saying I don’t understand their logic

Why does it? If people are at risk they are still at risk regardless of who called

Hi OP, I suspect that you are taking it personally that you are not meeting the threshold for support when in fact it is more a reflection on the dire state of the MH and care systems. It doesn’t mean that you are not struggling, it just means that limited resources are only available to the most severe cases.
As PP have said, you are not helping yourself by fixating on what others are getting, you would be better accepting the situation and trying to support yourself.
I don’t mean to sound harsh because I think you are just feeling uncared for due to lack of support but it really isn’t a reflection on you or your level of need.
I hope you are able to find the support you need. Good luck.

If you are calling the ambulance yourself then that would appear to be less of a serious suicide attempt than someone who was unexpectedly interrupted during their attempt.

(I'm finding it so interesting reading how informed posters are replying on this thread, compared with what I, pretty much uninformed, would be able to say).

No, you are at much less risk if you are undertaking risky behaviour as an attention-needing strategy (so calling for help), then if you are intending to end your life (so, not calling for help). We would not follow up before their next planned appointment on someone using attention-needing strategies as a coping method because this further increases their risk. We would follow up on someone who had made an attempt to end their life. The fact that you wont answer tells me that you were attention-needing and are now disregulated because your strategy didn't create the attention that you were searching for. This is a brutal feeling for you, but it is not an emergency for MH services who will bluntly be dealing with another 20 people doing exactly the same thing.

And this is why DBT is the course of treatment that you need. Supported accommodation will not meet your needs in any capacity. No matter what you think.

Spot on. I’ve never understood how some people can have had “multiple” suicide attempts and still expect to be considered at serious risk of suicide.

The latest A and E visit was only yesterday, so you were discharged and expect to have been contacted since, even at a weekend? Were you found unwell or did you call help yourself? Has this happened before?

You hit the nail on the head.
I was treated differently when I was found and taken to A&E compared to when I called 999 myself. You have explained the difference so well and a lot of how I was treated (or not) in the past makes so much sense.

No one explained all this at the time though, and like OP, I just felt rejected and abandoned. Her care team really ought to have a meeting with her explaining such things but that will be something she will have to ask about herself.

That’s a dangerous stance to take. I worked in safeguarding for teens/ young adults in various capacities over the years. It wasn’t unusual, if somebody died by suicide, for them to have had several attempts before.

Apologies then as I am obviously mistaken

Because if someone keeps making cries for help, but never gets any help, they give up in the end.

That's what happened to a friend of mine. Multiple suicide attempts. She gave up trying to get help in the end as they just labelled her an attention seeker and never actually helped.

It's all very well criticising "cries for help" but people get more desperate because there isn't a way to simply ask for the help and get it.

I’m not criticising cries for help but I think MH services are so stretched that they only have capacity to deal with serious suicide risks.
I may be different to the majority of suicidal people in that I would make damn sure I was successful if I attempted suicide. I did make one attempt many years ago when I took all my (highly toxic) medication and lay down to die at a time when it was extremely unlikely that I would be disturbed til the next morning. I was found though and did survive despite it being touch and go. Next time I won’t take any chances.
I wish there was more help for people who are struggling so they wouldn’t need to keep making cries for help.

@RetailTherapyMightHelp

Apologies - I wasn't clear but meant in general people criticising "cries for help", not that you were doing it specifically.

As you say, services are so overstretched they focus on immediate life-saving. Meanwhile those who are, for want of a better phrase, toying with the idea of suicide and on some level hoping there may be an alternative way out, are left until they see no other way.

It creates a horrible paradox whereby people who are heading towards suicide but seeking help can't actually get it because by seeking help they are "proving" they are "not really" suicidal.

Sorry you are struggling.
some really good advice has been offered re mind and also an occupational thwerapy intervention and support from student services.

are there any groups for autisn in your area? You mentioned liking to be busy could you volenteer? Maybe find an online interest with friends overseas to engage at night when things are harder.

its great that either you or others reached out for support when you had your last attempt.

What area are you from?
and what type of support are you hoping for? 24/7 or just an Intensive housing officer with weekly support?
I work for a housing association that offers supported living but is not 24 hours supported.
if you want to private message me I can advise you how to be referred x

I understand this is meant with the best of intentions, but it’s not really appropriate to offer what could be perceived as professional advice to a vulnerable adult such as the OP, especially by asking her to message you privately.