OP - I had a mother with BPD (now called EUPD) so feel I can answer your post. I also have been diagnosed with CPTSD which might mean I also have EUPD but neither the mental health nurse who I saw monthly for 4 months, nor the clinical psychologist were prepared to say that.
What they did say is people with CPTSD from childhood, often do have BPD/EUPD as well but not always.
My mum who had BPD did alot of things that sound like you are doing. I hope you will forgive my straight language but as someone who is on both sides then I am talking about myself as well as my mother and it sounds like alot of it applies to you too.
My mum would do alot of crazy, dramatic things for attention. Calling out ambulances because she was lonely and convinced she was having a heart attack. Calling out social services as an emergency saying she had no food in the house or money (both complete fabrications). Call out police making up dramatic things like her family had abandoned her (nope, spoke to her on the phone that afternoon), told one family member another family member was stealing from her and then retracted it as soon as she got attention and was asked for details (ie she made it up).
Now I have never did any of the above things and was always horrified when my mum did this and wasted so many peoples time. However I have done things I am quite ashamed of like testing people in relationships, do things for attention within relationships, panicking and being dramatic about things that didn't warrant it. I also had trouble sometimes with life ie giving up jobs before I had secured another or making bad spending decisions or using self destructive behaviours ie overeating to soothe myself. I know the empty, desperate, lost, despairing way it makes you feel inside and you are grasping at something...anything to give you relief from the feelings inside.
I can see some overlap in your behaviours with my mum and I can see some with my own. My mum never took accountability for herself to the day she died and ended up in a nursing home where the staff had to constantly move her away from other residents with fake reasons as she was always wailing and crying and upsetting the other residents with her outbursts. In her defence I will say MH services have gotten better over the years and in her era from 1930's to 2023 when she died things like BPD were only starting to be recognised and dealt with. However she was her own worst enemy and for example I would say to her look I think you might benefit from being on prozac and she would agree and demand taken to the doctors where she would have a huge scene wailing and crying. We would get her the tablets, I would go to the chemist and get them for her and then she would either refuse to take them or take them a couple of times and say they made her feel sick and then refuse to take any more. We actually did this 3 times with her and 3 times she refused to take them.
As you can imagine this was very wearing on everybody round her ie people would try and help her but she refused to do any of the heavy lifting herself.
I was in the position of being subject to her behaviour but also being able to understand some of it (although my behaviour does not seem to be as extreme).
What I wanted to say is I am in middle age and it took me to my forties to start taking account of my own behaviour which meant giving up relationships until I could get better. It also meant taking prozac long term and engaging with MH services. I am now due to get schema therapy (group) on the NHS which I am sort of dreading but also grateful to be getting. It also means I have been single for over 11 years now as I refuse to subject another partner to my behaviour until I am well.
Like you I can feel overwhelmed and very down and quite destructive. At the end of the day though as many people have already said the only person that can help you is actually you.
Yes you can ask for antidepressants and you can ask to see MH people but you shouldn't expect fast, special treatment as you will have to wait your turn and that can take months or years. Meanwhile you can try and read things yourself or watch things on you tube (there is a surprising amount of excellent material on CPTSD and EUPD, not all of it mind)
You need to start of small and get the basics under control.
Every day - have a shower or bath and wash your hair. If it's full of matts just do this and go to a local hairdresser and get them to cut it short.
Everyday try to eat simple but healthy and keep your kitchen clean and tidy. You can eat really simple stuff like beans on toast or baked potato with tuna. I'm sure you can manage that.
Wash your dishes each day and wipe your surfaces. I don't personally make my bed cos I live alone and it doesn't affect me really. If you want to though it's just a case of straightening the sheets and pulling the covers up.
Now this is going to sound harsh but remember the background I come from when I say it so it applies to me as well.
Nobody gives a shit if you are struggling or mentally ill. What I mean is you really are on your own and so it is up to you if you want to look after yourself and try and get better (baby steps) or whether you want to continue to live in chaos.
My mum chose to live in chaos to the day she died.
I lived in a normal but not right in many ways life until my forties when I had to start facing the music. It's been lonely, it's been scary, it's been painful, it's been very sad to see all the things I messed up or chances I blew. I have lots of regrets, lots of people I didn't treat right and lots of work still to do on myself. It will probably be an ongoing process till I die.
Having poor mental health regardless of how it happened is rubbish. You are at a huge disadvantage compared to people who are mentally healthy. However I promise you whilst there is help out there it is not quick and the only person who can really turn this around is you.
The day you start helping yourself is day 1 on your journey to a more well life.
I wish you luck.