To feel like mental health services are abusing me

[Westendtown]

I’m struggling living alone and want to be in supported housing. For reference other professionals have said I’m clearly not doing well when I’ve had paramedics and police to my accommodation. They just won’t accept this and keep telling me I’m too capable for supported living because I’m a uni student and volunteer. I do this to give me a focus as I would completely spiral without it. Again they can’t see this. Nearly every night I’m crying and struggling. My rooms a mess with fruits flies and I don’t even know how to start sorting it. My hairs matted yet they are telling me I’m fine it feels like gas lighting as it’s making me like I’m making this up and maybe I’m fine. I have care in place but don’t feel it’s what I need as I’m still struggling a lot and don’t have hours when I really need them most at night. I’m at a loss what to do as they just won’t listen to me, do you think I’m attention seeking?

It seems to be pot luck these days. Some people get a lot of support and others sho seem to be in more need hardly get any. But how are you so vulnerable you need to be in supported living. That's what they are trying to determine

Supported living referrals are made by social services.
You need to refer yourself to Adult Social Care in your local council. You can ask your MH worker to do this for you but as you haven't spoken to them for a while it would be best you do this yourself.

Go to your council's website, fibd the Adult social care page and follow the referral process on there.

In our area there is literally no one in MH supported housing who asked to be there. It’s largely people with chronic schizophrenia who were coming out of long detained admissions and had lost their previous accommodation. They will have S117 entitlements. It doesn’t sound as though that’s your situation

There usually is not someone on site 24-7 at these place anyway. There is visiting support and someone on call. As such it’s not a great step up from a care package in your own home plus access to mental health crisis lines. It is not like a mini hospital ward with people taking responsibility for your safety. Many people are looking for 24-7 containment of their feelings but this is impossible in reality over anything more than the very short term and what is actually needed is to learn ways to manage one’s own safety.

No one in MH supported accommodation is working, studying or volunteering they are requiring support to wash, dress, manage finances etc. Also there is a ‘move on’ ethos where people are supposed to be working towards living independently within 2-3 years so rarely would anyone who was already housed be suitable. Why would your current care package not support you to wash your hair or clean the house? Why not ask for a review of that if it’s not adequate. If you feel as though you might harm yourself then could you not call a MH helpline line 111 MH option or Samaritans? They might be able to talk you through some TIPP skills or something. If you are under MH services do you not have a crisis plan and techniques to help you? That could include who to call in a crisis.

I hear that you are distressed but YABU to call MH services abusive for not being agreeing with you as to what would meet your needs (in our area this would squarely be the business of social care and housing in any case and MH services would not be involved)

how old are you? I’m guessing early twenties? Do you have an EHCP? If so this is a legal document which the LA have fulfil. It might be that the EHCP document needs reviewing and updating? This is a formal process with which other professionals can provide comments -your psychologists, social workers, police, uni and so on.

They actually lied about my risks to get me housed by the homeless team as they were worried about me living alone so their solution mental health team wrote I was stable and could control my urges.

I do have section 117

They literally said themselves I needed and now have retracted it.

The mental health issues are likely linked to your autism and the challenges you face. Initially talk to your social worker , they should know the options for young people with autism, although likely still very hard to access.

Also talk to your GP or co sultans and ask for a medication review. Do you need more medication or a change of medication?

Gaining mental health support is next to impossible. If you’re on the edge of a breakdown please present yourself to A&E and refuse to go home until a psychiatrist has seen you.

I’ve asked for a ctr as I had one when I was in hospital but of course they won’t as they might disagree with them

Ps ha e you seem my question above?

What is your definition of supported housing? What kind of support are you looking for? Do you have any family support at all?

Then you need to put in a complaint to PALS if you feel that something is not being done properly.

Do you have EUPD as well as autism?

What makes you say rhat

You come across as if you have both. Do you?

Hi @Westendtown ,

Im sorry you are feeling this way. I do wish we could get you better support but unfortunately I do think there is a chronic lack of places. I think for now accepting it isn’t going to happen might be best (whilst still following up and asking for it etc).

Fruit flies: can you get a bin bag and chuck away and food lying about? Make sure there isn’t fruit juices in mugs etc. Sadly house plants get infected so you might have to get a spray for them and lots of sticky stuff as a PP suggested.

Matted hair: would it help to get a shorter hair cut? Or you could try lots of conditioner and getting a silk pillow case. Getting a hair dresser to help initially would be really good. Sometimes it’s hormones too.

I used to feel the same about nighttime’s there’s something about the quiet that brings in the bad thoughts. I recommend putting on an audio book. You can YouTube books from when you were a kid and fall asleep listening to them.

X

Contact MIND op.
Wishing you all the best x

Also OP there is an app called Finch which is great. You give yourself little goals: self care things, affirmations, sleep routines etc .

I think it’s really great when you are feeling down to help you break stuff into bite size chunks.

Im happy to be yours or (anyone else’s) friend on there!

In what respect please?

Thank you that’s a kind reply

I also thought personality disorder. Your comments make it sound like you are distrusting of services and think they lie to you, you seem to dramatise (saying you nearly died but then not saying how), lacking a sense of personal responsibility and seeming entitled (thinking you should be in supported housing and that others in supported housing need it less than you), not engaging with support (you have carers but say it is the wrong times- matted hair and unclean home could be managed at anytime). This is all pretty common presentation with personality disorders.

The mental health threads usually have slightly nicer replies and people wanting to help. I think on AIBU you might be thrown to the wolves a bit! X

I really feel for you op

I can understand why you feel teams are working against you. Often for people in similar situations as yourself you do not get the full support needed, decisions are made that do not always fully support you and your needs and often its as much as can be done with resources available but far too often is lacking

threshold for mh hostels are very high many placements it’s a revolving door from hospital/supported accommodation/hospital and then other places there is more movement forward. And what’s really placking is placements for people with ASD

The threahold is very high for supported living because the costs are very high and the resources are limited

I am not sure what further advice I can give that has not been given but you are not wrong in feeling that your needs are not being met

It might help people give you better advice if you answer some of the questions you have been asked on here. You said you nearly died, how did that happen? What are the mental health conditions you have been diagnosed with?

They do lie to me they lied in a risk assessment to get me housed in temporary housing, I was blue from what I did I think that’s quite serious don’t you? Where did I say otherwise people didn’t need it and I need it more I was just replying to comments saying people in supported living aren’t capable of xyz as some are. Obviously I know some people are more in need than me but I also feel knowing people who are in supported living they do have less needs. Where I’d I say I think I deserve it more?