To feel like mental health services are abusing me

[Westendtown]

I’m struggling living alone and want to be in supported housing. For reference other professionals have said I’m clearly not doing well when I’ve had paramedics and police to my accommodation. They just won’t accept this and keep telling me I’m too capable for supported living because I’m a uni student and volunteer. I do this to give me a focus as I would completely spiral without it. Again they can’t see this. Nearly every night I’m crying and struggling. My rooms a mess with fruits flies and I don’t even know how to start sorting it. My hairs matted yet they are telling me I’m fine it feels like gas lighting as it’s making me like I’m making this up and maybe I’m fine. I have care in place but don’t feel it’s what I need as I’m still struggling a lot and don’t have hours when I really need them most at night. I’m at a loss what to do as they just won’t listen to me, do you think I’m attention seeking?

Bit harsh to call people in distress attention seeking that’s exactly why people struggle to reach out. I have no planned appointments as she’s not bothered to contact me in nearly a month. I’ve know people call for help and still end up in comas would you consider that attention seeking?

I do have autism as well as depression with TRAirts of eupd this why I don’t get help as the focus is on eupd

Not really I’ve known someone be in a coma that called themselves an ambulance

The thread is getting a bit derailed. What help do you want day to day @Westendtown and what do you actually currently get?
Are you claiming PIP to help you access extra support?

But why would they call an ambulance if they were serious about taking their own life?

i am sorry you are struggling what type of support in supported living is it that you think will help you that a the care package you have been given won’t. The care package will help you learn to cook clean etc but and I apologise if I am wrong you don’t seem to be engaging with them or accepting the support offered. As you volunteer and go to university could a support worker come in the evening when you say you struggle the most

have you previously been in supported living accommodation to experience it which is why you feel it will help you more than the care package

I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you seem fixated on supported living accommodation when you don’t meet the criteria the mh team don’t think it’s best for you and are refusing all help until you get what you want. Comparing yourself to others isn’t helpful either as you don’t know all their circumstances

I do wish you all the best op and hope your situation improves

The PP did not call it attention seeking. My MH team call it "help seeking", and that is not a bad thing. Because when you are distressed and dysregulated, it is hard to ask for help and hard to articulate how you are feeling. If you have autism, this is further complicated due to alexithymia. So it comes out in behaviours that do get you immediate attention and help.
It becomes a cycle because when you carry out a risky behaviour and people come to your aid, it is easy to see this as a way to get help and attention.
Therapy like DBT can help you to work out what your are feeling and ways to deal with those feelings in a healthy way.

Because sometimes the realisation comes that suicide is not the answer or you are scared of the situation you have ended up in.
You are implying that people who do call for help are not serious, and that is not true at all.

I don’t think it was meant as being harsh calling it attention seeking. It says attention needing It’s a risk assessment needing attention to cope so rings the ambulance themselves as opposed to someone who didn’t call and was found by someone else so they are deemed as a greater risk to themselves

Not the point of the thread but how can someone in a coma so are unconscious unable to move speak or hear call an ambulance

I think they meant they later fell into a coma after calling an ambulance.

@XenoBitchah that makes more sense apologies all for completely misunderstanding

I've said this before. Why are you comparing your situation to others? They will not be comparable. Someone's needs will be different to yours. We are all individuals.
You have no clue people's diagnosis and their real difficulties and struggles. Most people tell you what they are comfortable telling you, not the deep dark ugly stuff.

Risk to self is more than dsh.

There's points in others posts you are ignoring in order to keep stuck in the same cognitive loop. ie how did services find you if you were blue, who alerted them.
What would your ideal scenario be, ie support and environment etc.
Have you tried to put distraction techniques in place for when you are struggling?
Are you engaging with the care package,
or actually are you self sabotaging?
Honestly, sometimes noise, ie brown noise can help quieten the mind in neurodivergent people. If you focus on the basic Maslows hierarchy of needs, ie sleep and food. Then build on that. It always helps.

It's very clear to be that you have a diagnosis of eupd.
They won't give you tonnes of medication due to risk. Giving you a supply with a known risk there is not taking positive risk.
NICE guidelines is to manage risk and where possible not to admit to inpatients. You asked why they send you home from A&E, where else would you go?
I would actually suggest watching YouTube about DBT but obviously more reputable sources, because then you can start to look at managing difficult emotions including rejection.
Not being given the supported accommodation to be "looked after" by staff is actually also very clearly something you have perceived as a huge rejection. Ie why are others worthy of this and I'm not. Saying you don't see your mh worker often is also a perceived rejection, when actually this will be policy within the team. The locus on control is external here ie what are other people doing, when it should be internal, ie what can I do. As there is so much you can do, despite it feeling scary.

I can see where you’re coming from I was simply going to send a link to self refer for housing support.
i am not a professional in this field I just happen to work in the finance department of a housing association, unfortunately I know from experience that sometimes there isn’t a way in to these service's unless someone gives you one.

So, care plans are based on biggest and most risky issues.

Currently, your biggest difficulty you have described is emotional dysregulation, feeling rejected, dsh/ligature, care needing (not seeking),
So based on that, yes, your eupd is more in need of management that autism or depression. MH services do not support autism really. But I have suggested autism support groups as alexithymia is common with autism.
But as you are choosing not to engage in a care package, presumably, you have capacity, you are choosing not to engage and this would be an unwise decision. But ultimately one you are making.

Totally agree. I wouldn’t put anyone I loved in supported living.

How was your day yesterday @Westendtown? What are you studdying? If we know more about your needs we can help to find you support.

what do you like eating? Couple of quick meal ideas, soft boiled egg toast soldiers and cucumba and carrot sticks
jacket potato with toppings like humuas, beans, tuna sandwhich filler
soups either fresh tinned or in a soup maker.
does your ubni have anywhere you can buy food?
maybe go out in the evening to somewhere too good to go app maybe good as you could book food to collect eg a tobie carvery at 9 PM.

What have you done to minimise risk you hurt yourself? Maybe stopping the harm will open more options for accomodation. Some altermatives may be hurt without harm eg ice cube elastic band intense cardio.

I didn't call it attention seeking, that isn't a term we use. All people attention seek, it's how we get our needs met on a daily basis. Attention seeking is saying to a partner 'ive had a shit day, can you cook tea and give me a cuddle please'. Attention needing (or care seeking, same thing different Trust terminology usually) is different. They are behaviours driven by mental illness, usually personality disorders, where the behaviour is created by an intense desire for support outside of norms, and then designed to force the other party to respond because of the nature of the risk. You are attempting to force others into behaving in the way you deem appropriate by your behaviour. It isn't working, so now you are highly dysregulated, and without treatment and a personal desire to manage this need, will continue the cycle.

It isn't true to say that everyone who calls for help didn't really mean to die - there are others who are in such great distress that they attempt to take their own life, but the act itself provides some form of clarity, either because of the pain, or because the adrenaline breaks through the distress etc. These people may well then ring 999, or if they feel unable to seek external intervention then they'll make themselves sick, provide their own first aid etc, often at great risk to their health. What they DON'T do the next morning is kick off that they haven't been given attention because of it. Usually they either don't tell a soul, discharge AMA, downplay what happened, refuse to discuss it with care teams etc. These patients are at a very high risk of a further attempt that does end their lives. The patients yelling BUT I WAS BLUE and describing nurses as abusive because they're not acquiescing to their desires require a different process of management, which is as per the NICE guidance for personality disorders. That doesnt mean you arent very deserving of help - but it is different help.

Do you know that personality disorders have the highest recovery rates of any mental illness? It's true. Put your energies into the right treatment and working with, not against, teams and you can recover. I did.

She has said she doesn't have a personality disorder diagnosis. Just some of the traits but diagnosed depression and autism iirc. She is in extreme distress and just trying to get some help. The last post seemed pretty callous.

She said she's been described as having traits of and that is what they're basing treatment on - i.e. it is their working diagnosis. Many teams are now avoiding a formal diagnosis of EUPD and just working with 'traits' to avoid medical stigma for patients. You're welcome to your opinion that you feel I am callous, I disagree.

This is a really interesting post, thank you for sharing.

How does it avoid stigma if "traits" is read as meaning full EUPD and used as the working diagnosis? You could call it anything, but if it's known as a euphemism for EUPD the stigma and treatment of the person remains the same.

It's really concerning that autism is overlooked in these situations. Because autistic people will have meltdowns and or/shutdowns when sufficiently overwhelmed (the overwhelm could be at least partly caused by dealing with intense emotions) and then it's read as them being totally in control of their actions, or "not engaging" if they've gone into shutdown and can't communicate properly. The autism needs to be considered.

I've been through this myself. It was absolutely enlightening when I had a lovely partner for a while, who would spot I was becoming overwhelmed before I did, and immediately chill the situation out, hug me and tell me everything was ok, I just needed a minute, I was loved and safe. Over (a relatively short) time, this meant the dreadful suicidal emotions became detached from the overwhelm/meltdown/shutdown, and I just had an awareness I was becoming overwhelmed without the emotional pain and shame associated with it (the shame originally put there by MH professionals). This naturally led on to me being able to spot a mile off if overwhelm was possible and avoid or diffuse the situation before it reached that point.

Whilst she states she does not have a formal diagnosis, its very clear this is her biggest presenting risk and greatest need. But ultimately, things will always stay the same if she doesn't put the time, effort and work in.
It is now just personality disorder in the ICD. No distinguishing between all types.
Not formalising a diagnosis is helpful, because we use different terms like dysregulation etc. Some people have CPTSD which is root cause of PD and this allows for the identification of it.

This is such a helpful and enlightening post.
I hope people take note as there is a wealth of information in this. All from evidence base.

This totally explains why the level of care I receive has changed so drastically since I was diagnosed with PD and why my family aren’t being listened to. I don’t believe I have PD but I am autistic which they seem to ignore most of the time.
it’s an awful label to give somebody as services make assumptions about you which are not true.