To feel like mental health services are abusing me

[Westendtown]

I’m struggling living alone and want to be in supported housing. For reference other professionals have said I’m clearly not doing well when I’ve had paramedics and police to my accommodation. They just won’t accept this and keep telling me I’m too capable for supported living because I’m a uni student and volunteer. I do this to give me a focus as I would completely spiral without it. Again they can’t see this. Nearly every night I’m crying and struggling. My rooms a mess with fruits flies and I don’t even know how to start sorting it. My hairs matted yet they are telling me I’m fine it feels like gas lighting as it’s making me like I’m making this up and maybe I’m fine. I have care in place but don’t feel it’s what I need as I’m still struggling a lot and don’t have hours when I really need them most at night. I’m at a loss what to do as they just won’t listen to me, do you think I’m attention seeking?

Cheaper homemade version - jam jar half filled with lemon juice. Stretch cling film over the top and poke small holes with a fork or skewer so the flies can get in but are unlikely to get out. Leave where the flies most commonly congregate, and occasionally swirl the lemon juice so it sweeps flies that are resting on the inside of the jar into the liquid. Once you've drowned them all, pour the liquid away down the loo.

That is none of your business tbh. Take her word for it instead of pushing her.

Op, agree with the above in that you're on the wrong forum. They can be horrible on here, and will only upset you further.

Can you get a cleaner in as a one off to clean up any food debris to help get rid of the fruit flies?

But you haven’t answered the question. Without knowing the risk factors how can we help ?

You say you struggle more at nighttime, what exactly do you struggle with and what form of support would you like?

Getting put in supported accommodation wouldn't happen if you make attempts on your life OP. Your needs are too high.

If you have a care package you need to engage with it. Ask them to show you life skills. Or enroll on a life skills course at college if you're able to study.

Tbh it sounds as if you just don't like being alone at night. That's ok, a lot of people don't like it. Being in supported accommodation won't stop you being alone at night. There will have to be other ways of dealing with it.

Hello @Westendtown it sounds like you’re having a really tough time, and it’s understandable that you’re finding it hard to trust the support around you.
Mumsnet can be a great source of advice for mental health, but it isn’t the same as getting real-life help from people who can offer proper care and ongoing support. It might really help to talk to someone who’s trained to listen and help you stay safe.
If you can, please think about getting in contact with:

• Samaritans: you can call them free, any time, on 116 123
• Mind: for advice and support with mental health, call 0300 123 3393 or text 86463
• Shout: for free, confidential support by text, text 85258
• If you ever feel unsafe with your thoughts, please go to A&E or call 999

You deserve proper help and care and there are people who want to help you get through this. We're moving this over to the Mental health board now and you might also want to take a look at some of the resources on our webguide.

Just musing a little. I’m not sure if you HAVE been diagnosed with a personality disorder, but if you have, then expect treatment to be shocking.
I was diagnosed with one this year. Previous psychs said I had psychosis. The whole treatment/attitude towards me from MH services totally changed.

My friend is in supported accommodation. She has eupd. Before getting there she was massively suicidal and got known to very bad people. For her safety she was placed to supported accommodation far a way. She manages to cook and keep her flat clean. There is always somebody present. This has reduced her hospital stays to minimum and she is doing better.

This is also where I get confused so if others are in due to risk for self don’t understand why I can’t be

Do you claim PIP? Can you use that to access support with cleaning and self care. If you are at uni do you have a mentor through DSA who can refer you for other services if you are at risk?

I’m in temporary housing that they lied to get me in how many more times. The room is tiny I’m in a shared house with seven others smoking drugs etc

Again then surely it would de skill other people or does it just apply to me

Presumably because different people have different starting points. Your normal is someone else’s aspiration.

Unfortunately OP I don't think people with EUPD (if that's what you have, apologies if not) are taken seriously enough. I honestly think MH services often don't really know what to do with people with EUPD.

I think what you really are asking for is someone to look after you and take care of you. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like supported housing is going to provide you with what you need, it's more a place to stick people with problems so severe they don't know what else to do with them by the sounds of it. I honestly don't think it's going to be a good place for someone with ASD.

Have you been offered DBT at all? It could be really helpful to you but can be very difficult to access. That's what I'd be pushing for if you were my DD. I'd also really encourage you to engage with the care package. Well done for continuing with your studies and volunteering despite your struggles.

Do you have any uni friends who you could hang out with at all? or could you consider joining any clubs/societies? Sports?
Maybe being around other students may help you by interacting and distraction.

In supportive housing some of the other residents may be very difficult and trigger you.

I live over an hour from my uni

Yes but I literally see people in supported housing traveling by themselves sometimes very far away.wearing make up when I’m struggling to Marian basic self care

You don’t know what struggles other people have - you are being unreasonable to say that you think you are less capable than someone else and that kind of talk won’t strengthen your case at all

As I said above I think there are people with more than me there and also people with less

Op, what would your ideal living situation be?

Can you ever see yourself living independently?

Where are your family? Can you move back home until you are more able to take care of yourself?
Local authorities are overwhelmed. It took my friends 20 year old son 2 years to get an assisted place in a shared home, he is non verbal asd. He has 30 mins once a week as his care package to check in with him. He had to learn to do everything for himself.
There is no magic wand for your care team to give you what you want. Social care in the UK is in crisis.

Yes just not yet

In the same town as me. I stay there sometimes but can’t move in due to lack of room

The mental health team are hypocritical they won’t let me have more than. Weeks worth of medication yet keep discharging me from a&e not that I mind but then I should be allowed more medicine as surely if they want to positive risk take then it should concern everything

I think it would be helpful to get out of the mindset that the NHS and supported accommodation is there to fix you, and that there are no other options. When it comes to MH, particularly PDs, the only person responsible for your care and recovery is you. Comparing yourself to other people is going to frustrate you and feed into feelings of abandonment (this is something I do a lot too). Everyone is on a different journey and are at different stages along it. You are also not privy to their medical notes so do not know what their needs and risks are.

In terms of life skills, there may be a charity/organisation near your that can offer courses in it. The one were I live teaches people how to cook a roast dinner, maintain a clean living space and do things like set up an email address, basic budgeting. However, seeing as you are at uni then you may well be deemed too capable. The people that tend to do those courses were not capable of learning independently outside of them. I know several people who have done them and they don't have GCSEs let alone go to uni.

Rather than focus on what you don't have, try to reframe things and look at what is actually out there that can help you. You are on sec117, so use that. Ask your care co-ordinator to sign post you to other services.

Good luck.