To feel like mental health services are abusing me

[Westendtown]

I’m struggling living alone and want to be in supported housing. For reference other professionals have said I’m clearly not doing well when I’ve had paramedics and police to my accommodation. They just won’t accept this and keep telling me I’m too capable for supported living because I’m a uni student and volunteer. I do this to give me a focus as I would completely spiral without it. Again they can’t see this. Nearly every night I’m crying and struggling. My rooms a mess with fruits flies and I don’t even know how to start sorting it. My hairs matted yet they are telling me I’m fine it feels like gas lighting as it’s making me like I’m making this up and maybe I’m fine. I have care in place but don’t feel it’s what I need as I’m still struggling a lot and don’t have hours when I really need them most at night. I’m at a loss what to do as they just won’t listen to me, do you think I’m attention seeking?

I need support at night because I struggle more at night.I personally think admitting you can’t cope is taking responsibility

What did you do that made you blue?

You have extreme reactions to perceived rejection, swing from appearing to cope to crisis, fear being seen as attention seeking, polarised thinking, dramatic reference to crisis behaviours, intense emotions.. .

That’s just what I picked up from what you’ve posted. I’m just an internet random though so could be completely wrong.

There is no shame if you do have it, but it does help to explain why the mental health services are taking the approach they are.

Op please do not feel you have to answer intrusive questions or justify how you feel or why

you have clearly stated you feel you need more support than you get and some good advice has been given on how you may be able to get this (it won’t be easy)

nights i know for many can seem so long and so lonely chat forums while at times can be supportive sadly they are not always

i don’t have an issue with rejection? Don’t see how being frustrated with services indicates a pd. how am I dramatic I was told I could have died from what I did in the pass I’ve been accused of being blasé about sh etc so now when I admit it was bad I’m then accused of being dramatic

What do you mean aprwch that they are? So people with pd shouldn’t be supported

Don’t feel it matters fact remains I was

It does matter, because turning blue from a physical illness or condition is completely different from turn blue due to self harm or attempted suicide. It very much changes the advice that people can give you on here in terms of pointing you in the right direction for support.

I appreciate what you are saying, but it also sounds like you don't have a clear understanding of what supported accommodation would give you. Apart from keeping you safe in the night and allowing you to speak to someone.
A lot of accommodation want to see people move forwards. They assess care and support needs, make a plan of how to support these needs then make a bid to support the person. They risk assess too, so if there if risk to self or others this is often a barrier.
It sounds like you have a care package in place, but motivation is lacking at present. It's so important to engage in the care package, and if it's not working for this to be reviewed to make it a bit better. Supported housing has big waiting lists and healthcare workers are heavily criticised for deskilling, which it sounds could be the case here.
There's also the issue it can create dependence, when the aim is for independence, it can be a downward spiral.
Are there any autism support groups which may help with some of the task activation?

@BuffetTheDietSlayerwow! You cannot seriously be trying to diagnose someone over an internet forum! Nor can you start suggesting extreme rejection from what the OP has said.
Whilst it might well be true that there is limited resources and not much in the way of supportive housing for people with mental health issues that doesn’t for a moment indicate that the OP (and many others couldn’t really benefit from it.

OP firstly I’m sorry some posters are giving you a hard time. It sounds like you are struggling just now. Can you tell us more about your living situation. Are you living completely on your own? What happened yesterday which resulted in you going blue?

I haven’t diagnosed, I simply asked if she does have it. Only clarified further upon the OPs request and made it clear I’m a random.

I don’t think anyone has given her a hard time, just asked questiones that can help inform what advice to give.

There are NICE guidelines, ie avoiding hospital admissions where possible as this can actually increase risk and dependence.

It was an attempt

I don’t want inpatient care I’m traumatised from it

I need help with life skills I can’t cook don’t know how to make a bed etc, surely no one would be in supported housing if they could just have a care package

We clearly have very different ideas about what constitutes giving someone a hard time, especially when they have already made it clear that they are really struggling.

YouTube will have tutorials for anything and everything

My son lived in supported accommodation. He first had his own flat, but was unable to cope, so was put in supported accommodation, after other residents complained and a spell in hospital.

First he was put in a big shared house. That was pretty grim. He had his own locked room, but shared kitchen and bathroom facilities. The others were not clean, had crises at night, police constantly turning up, items stolen, etc.

Then he was moved to a supported accommodation block, where he had his own self-contained flat.

Before they moved him from the house to the flat, he had to prove he was able to keep his own space clean.

The flat had 24hr staff, but the evening shift were purely for emergencies.

Neither place helped him clean, or helped with personal hygiene. They'd check, but you'd be threatened with eviction if it was uninhabitable.

He's now in his own flat, but with support workers a couple of times a week. He left the supported block due to noise and disruption, which wasn't great for his autism.

He has autism (high functioning).

There may be supported 0laces which help with tidying, but the only ones I know of, you are encouraged, but not helped physically.

They are all things a care package would provide.
The focus is normally what you CAN do.
As I've highlighted, a lot of services take people based on risk, some even put stipulations on last attempts etc as people need to be relatively stable to do the rehab focussed work.
It is never helpful to compare your situation to others as you don't know everything about other people.
I'd suggest taking responsibility would actually look like planning distractions for the worst times. Keeping a good sleep/wake routine etc.
I also suggested support groups re autism.

What sort of care package do you have at the moment OP?
Im a support worker and have worked with people in a similar situation to you several times. For one person I helped I would go in for 2-3hrs in the morning. I’d be there whilst they had a shower and got dressed, assisted them with making some breakfast, putting a wash on and sometimes we would go out. I would also make sure there was lunch available for them. They would then have several hours alone before myself or another PA would go in to help them get some dinner and have some evening company. They also had a cleaner come in twice a week to keep the house clean and tidy.
They didn’t have anyone overnight but did have an alarm which they could press if they fell, had an accident or felt unwell.
Does this sound like the sort of thing that might work for you?

Absolutely, because the focus is on recovery, and developing independence.

I was going to ask the same but not from I think the same perspective.

I know that a lot of women with Austim and other ND can commonly at first be assumed to have and misdiagnosed with EUPD/BPD (as it used to be called).

It's not uncommon for their to be stigma in mental health services to those with that diagnosis, and also not unusual for them to discourage inpatient admissions. I think they feel that on the whole it's not beneficial for patients and can in cases worsen the situation. There is also in most parts of the the NHS very little help. If you're lucky you maybe be referred for DBT (which is one of the actual therapies that has been shown to help) but unfortunately NICE guidelines dictate there is no medication specifically for it and therefore if you fall between the crack and services it can be quite hard to access support.

Sorry OP this to me doesn't warrant supported accommodation at all? You are quite rightly reaching out for help, above PP are suggesting some good learning aids.

If you are having active thoughts of suicide then please do reach out to a friend, family member, suicide watch or Samaritans.

No I don’t but I just don’t understand why when I struggle with so many things I’m just palmed off with. Care packages

Then what does need supported accommodation