20 mg is a low dose, allgonebellyup is on a pretty high dose, hence the more severe side effects.
I too resisted ADs for a very long time and felt quite embarrassed about taking them...like I was a failure or something...but it isn't like that - really it isn't. You'd be amazed at the amount of people who are on them and you wouldn't know! I am not on them for depression or anxiety, it is to get me through dealing with something that happened to me as a child, something I am trying to address atm, but finding bloody hard. People take ADs for many different reasons.
I actually felt better as soon as I started taking them. I think it was knowing that things were going to get better that made me feel that way...that I was doing something to improve things. It felt positive.
I am on 20mg and the only real side effects I had were that I felt quite tired and yawned a lot
You sound like you need to do something to help yourself and your boys and this will..honestly. I decided to take them so that I could be a happier person for my family...and I am now.
It doesn't take it all away, but it does help you cope and move forward.
Take them WR, I want to see you feeling better