Personality disorder and visions

[ninjahamster]

does anyone suffer? I was told I had psychosis and was sectioned several times new psych has taken me off antipsychotics and says I have a personality disorder (cluster 3). I am really struggling. I see Angels daily. They talk to me and tell me to get rid of evil people. They wake me up at night, talk to me through headphones, message me through the tv and laptop.
Im told it’s trauma based. That something must have happened in my childhood that I’m suppressing.
I called Crisis tonight. They said I’m not being honest with myself. That I’m not in touch with my emotions. That I cannot maintain relationships. That my parents traumatised me.
But I’ve been married 27 years. Have a great relationship with my parents and siblings. Had a wonderful childhood. 4 children who I get on tremendously well with and who all get on with each other. .
Friendships going back years. Unfortunately my MH means I don’t leave the home so communication is all via text or social media but up until 5/6 years ago I was very sociable. Had a career in safeguarding.
I feel like I’m living in a strange universe. My family said I was much better on antipsychotics, my MH team say that’s not true. My MH team are not allowed to visit me at home as I’m deemed a danger but they are happy for me to be at home with my family who the angels tell me to harm.
I see angels, I feel bugs crawling over my skin. I see birds flying round the room. I see orbs floating around. I cannot drive as the voices are too loud and distract me.
I keep knives in every room in case I’m in danger. I put notes on the walls.
Anyone with a PD who can relate? .

Why have you been taken off meds when you're hallucinating daily? What explanation were you given for this? It sounds very overwhelming. Do you have social services support?

They said I’m not psychotic and don’t need the medication. That I need therapy for trauma and personality disorder. No social services support, children are all adults now.

Are you scutterbug?

Can your husband come to your next appointment and advocate for you? It's hard to be taken seriously when you're unwell. If the angels are telling you to harm people it's not an overreaction to go to A+E. If you use nhs 111 they tell you which A+Es to go to for mental health. A second opinion from a psychiatrist would be really beneficial don't you think?

I had a second opinion from my psychiatrist’s colleague and he agreed. We’ve been called in to see managers on Wednesday, my husband is coming with me. He’s lost all faith in them so it is hard.
I went up A and E a few weeks ago. The MH team there told me yo resume my antipsychotic immediately. My psych just took me straight back off it.
So basically the decision is that this is all trauma based. And that I’m concealing the trauma.

Have you ever suffered a brain injury?

No I haven’t.

Hopeful bump, anyone with a PD who has experienced similar?

Telling someone they’re seeing demons is just as delusional as someone believing they’re seeing and hearing angels. Not helpful at all.

I'd be requesting to see someone else asap. As s a pp said it sounds like schizophrenic delusions. Hallucinations are not from hiding trauma ffs. You need your meds back sharpish. Have you got any lying around that you haven't taken that you could take until you can see someone?

I just read your updates and cannot believe my eyes and ears. A clear notebook schizophrenia which is ONLY controlled with the relevant medication and they are telling you this bs and leaving you and your husband of danger of being used by your demons and kill someone...

Gosh I just watched a bbc programme tonight and the man came off meds and two angels told him his mum was at risk of being hurt by demons and was needed in heaven. He should kill her to protect her.
He then went and smashed her skull with a hammer til she died. It was psychosis by lack of medication and also taking recreational drugs.
Quite serious! I’m surprised at the advice you’ve been given, I would be seeking a second or third or fourth opinion

I haven’t but there is a thing where women are sometimes misdiagnosed as having false hallucinations when they have EuPD.

Yes trauma is linked to some cases of EuPD but it is also linked to psychotic depression. The first has false hallucinations, the second has actual hallucinations. So the “it’s all trauma” makes no sense. As there is no trauma, schizophrenia is more likely…

I have no idea what OP can do except keep going to A&E and have her husband demand she is switched from whoever her MHT is to another one.

Have you been on a course of steroids? I know two people who suffered schizophrenia type hallucinations while taking GP prescribed steroid drugs for physical conditions.

I’ve been told I categorically do not need antipsychotic medication. It’s not up for discussion.

I do, loads. I called the Gp last week and asked if they would support me going back on the meds but they said no as the psychiatrists are in agreement that I don’t need them. I’ve been categorically told not to take them and that I do NOT have schizophrenia. I have a personality disorder as a result of childhood trauma. I don’t know what trauma as they say I must suppressing it. I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks all my life but the last couple of years of seeing and hearing people has been very traumatic.

I think that as I’ve not harmed anyone yet, they are reasonably sure I won’t. It apparently is all part of my personality disorder. I would really like to find others who are suffering the same.

Thanks. I’ve been told there are no more second opinions, they are all quite pissed off with me for questioning them to be honest.

Thanks for your response. I’m just trying to find a way to get rid of the angels. They’re saying therapy will work so I agreed to that and have a meeting on weds to discuss it along with my husband.

No I haven’t x

Have organic causes of your hallucinations been ruled out? EEG, brain imaging etc?

No I’ve not had any investigations like that. I think I would really struggle to manage that as I barely leave the house. I wouldn’t manage a brain scan.

Just another hopeful bump looking for people with personality disorders who suffer with visions and voices. Really keen to know what helped. I’m really struggling to find a way through all this.

Hi Ninjahamster,
I have EUPD and suffer from psychotic symptoms when unwell with disturbing visions/intrusive thoughts and voices.
I too used to carry knives as I thought that the voices were commanding me to do so and had visual hallucinations of rain in my living room.

I have been sectioned a number of times and there was a dispute about my diagnosis with my treating hospital saying I had EuPD with pseudo psychosis whilst a court ordered psychiatrist said I had schizoaffective disorder.

My symptoms are under control with an antipsychotic depot which I have every month.

I believe you need antipsychotics.

Can you ask for a second opinion as they give antipsychotics to patients with Eupd?

Hope everything goes well for you x