Personality disorder and visions

[ninjahamster]

does anyone suffer? I was told I had psychosis and was sectioned several times new psych has taken me off antipsychotics and says I have a personality disorder (cluster 3). I am really struggling. I see Angels daily. They talk to me and tell me to get rid of evil people. They wake me up at night, talk to me through headphones, message me through the tv and laptop.
Im told it’s trauma based. That something must have happened in my childhood that I’m suppressing.
I called Crisis tonight. They said I’m not being honest with myself. That I’m not in touch with my emotions. That I cannot maintain relationships. That my parents traumatised me.
But I’ve been married 27 years. Have a great relationship with my parents and siblings. Had a wonderful childhood. 4 children who I get on tremendously well with and who all get on with each other. .
Friendships going back years. Unfortunately my MH means I don’t leave the home so communication is all via text or social media but up until 5/6 years ago I was very sociable. Had a career in safeguarding.
I feel like I’m living in a strange universe. My family said I was much better on antipsychotics, my MH team say that’s not true. My MH team are not allowed to visit me at home as I’m deemed a danger but they are happy for me to be at home with my family who the angels tell me to harm.
I see angels, I feel bugs crawling over my skin. I see birds flying round the room. I see orbs floating around. I cannot drive as the voices are too loud and distract me.
I keep knives in every room in case I’m in danger. I put notes on the walls.
Anyone with a PD who can relate? .

Thank you. I was given a second opinion by another psychiatrist in the team who has agreed with him and stated I do not need antipsychotics.

I'm a therapist op and work with personality disorder and trauma. Hallucinations are not a sign of trauma I'm afraid. Sone people with pd can have negative voices bring critical to them but not full based visual hallucinations no. If you can't remember any childhood trauma then you do not need trauma therapy. We do not uncover repressed memories. Honestly if I met you as a patient I'd be requesting a mental health assessment. I'm really quite shocked about the care you have received. Psychiatrists often no very little about therapy. They often blame all symptoms on trauma but it's not as simple as that. I hope you can cope with the hallucinations, remember to phone the crisis line or attend a&e if you ever feel you can't

Thank you so much for replying. I went to a and e a few weeks ago and they put me back on antipsychotics but my psych told me to stop them again immediately. I spoke to my gp today who contacted my team and told them how low I am and they said it was normal for me and they basically had no concerns. I’ve had anxiety all my life but this is so different. I feel like I’m going mad. The angels get so cross that I’ve not done what they ask.ive come so close to causing harm. My husband has raised concerns but they don’t respond to him. It’s like a living nightmare. I asked the GP to prescribe the antipsychotics but they don’t go against the psych.