I don't like my dd

[squinny101]

I have a dd (almost 3). she is a very difficult child that I find very hard to deal with.

Today, it suddenly dawned on me that I don't think I love her, I know that I certainly don't like her. But it hit me that my life would be so much easier, if I didn't have to deal with her.

Even writing it makes me feel horribly guilty. I feel so overwhelmed by her behaviour. I have tried to get the HV to listen to me as I really feel that she has behavioiural issues.

Can someone tell me if it is normal to feel like this. I have suffered with PND in the past. I must need help. How can I dislike my own child.

squinny just wanted to say thanks for starting this, i was diagnose with pnd when dd was born (she is a only child so i have nothing to moan about really) and altho i came off the antiderpessants i dont feel i will ever be happy

i love her very very very very much but sometimes really resent the impact having her has had on my life, i am either at working with 4 year olds or at home looking after her and its just such hard work all the time - yet for other people, spending time with her seems to be such a breeze, which of course makes me even more sure i shouldnt really have had children

sqinny I went through this when my DD was 3. She was the eldest and always having temper tantrums, wetting herself, arguing with me. Yet playgroup "didn't know they'd got her". I asked the HV for help and got referred to the child health clinic for family and individual counselling. It did help.

Squinny, well done for starting this thread and I am so glad that you managed some good one to one times with your DD yesterday. I have a 3 year old DD and god knows she tries my patience sometimes! She is adorable but the tantrums and whining are very hard to deal with.

Things which help me include:

-taking her out for a long walk / ice cream to tire her out
-dancing with her when i can feel the tension mounting in me
-Looking at the big picture - for example, my DD is obsessed with flip flops and wants to wear them all the time. I have resisted but it was getting SO wearing and now I just let her wear them out for short distances and take her other shoes to change into when her feet hurt. Some things are non negotiable but I find that working out what really matters to me meant that I wasn't saying no or telling her off the whole time

I love her to bits but have moments when I don't like her behaviour much as she is so contrary. I think your PND might have a part to play too. Have you got a decent GP or HV who might me able to help?

I am sure that you would be bereft if she were not part of your life. That's not to say a break now and again wouldn't do you good. Can your DH let you have an hour to yourslef this weekend?

Take care and very best wishes

Squinny, well done for starting this thread and I am so glad that you managed some good one to one times with your DD yesterday. I have a 3 year old DD and god knows she tries my patience sometimes! She is adorable but the tantrums and whining are very hard to deal with.

Things which help me include:

-taking her out for a long walk / ice cream to tire her out
-dancing with her when i can feel the tension mounting in me
-Looking at the big picture - for example, my DD is obsessed with flip flops and wants to wear them all the time. I have resisted but it was getting SO wearing and now I just let her wear them out for short distances and take her other shoes to change into when her feet hurt. Some things are non negotiable but I find that working out what really matters to me meant that I wasn't saying no or telling her off the whole time

I love her to bits but have moments when I don't like her behaviour much as she is so contrary. I think your PND might have a part to play too. Have you got a decent GP or HV who might me able to help?

I am sure that you would be bereft if she were not part of your life. That's not to say a break now and again wouldn't do you good. Can your DH let you have an hour to yourslef this weekend?

Take care and very best wishes

hi again squinny saorry for the previous hijack of your threasd with my rant but really pleased to hear you had a good time with your dd and also very comforting to know we are not the only ones who feel like this!

and lol at your dd not liking the wet water sounds just like my dd, you gotta love them really.

have you been to the GP though, do you think it would help, even if it was just to talk things through with a professional

THanks for all your support. Am having my hair done next weekend so will have some time to myself then. Have told DP he has to get the kids up and to DS football by 9am. He has told me its not very stressful. I think he is slightly naive.

lol at not very stressful - wait and see wait and see, and if possible feed the dc e numbers before you leave the house!. No seriously, the reason they dont think children are stressful i think is because they dont do it day in day out by themselves and of course they never will have to in most cases, i have given up trying to get dh to see dd from my point of view.

enjoy your hair cut and a bit of time out.

there is a thread with some suggestions for lifting yourself out of depression which seems to have great suggestions which i think i will follow, might help.

Its funny isn't it. I was feeling so positive and now I completely feel like this again.

I'm tryng to work out if there are certain times of the month that I get like this as I seem to be all over the place.

Can anyone get PMT style symptoms when they are not getting their period.

(Or is it just called being depressed?)

I hate it that I feel this way. Every morning I wake up determined to be Mary Poppins and go to bed like Cruella de Ville

Bless you I know how that feels!!! Some children are more high maintenance than others which is v hard especially if there is history.. PLease ask for referral t0 CAMHS Psychology where you can get help for you and your kids. It sounds as if you DD is v sensitive. YOu sound exhausted . No suprises with 3 young kids. Hang in there and stay brave.. it mmust have taken such courage to post this thread. Respect to you. xx