Anxiety and panic attacks in a really bad way

[potterface29]

Hi,

Not sure if this will help but I need support and advice.

I'm so anxious all the time at the moment. It's debilitating. I feel like I can't function. I feel like my kids would be better off without me. My husband would be better off without me. I have had anxiety since I was 10 and I have gotten to breaking point twice in my life once when I was 27 just had a baby and another relapse when I was 30.

And I'm close to saying this is another relapse. A major driving force in my mental health journey is emetophobia, it's plagued my life and I'm ashamed to say I still have it now despite many attempts to ride myself of this fear I just cant.

I recently changed anti depressant dose and if I'm honest I don't feel like the medication I am on is working for me. Or doing anything. Really wanted to try propranolol but doctors are always wary because I have low BP and asthmatic.

I have two young kids almost 4 and 7 one who I still breastfeed which I'm embarrassed to say to people as I'm concerned of opinions but she loves it so much and I can't take that away from her when I'm not mentally well.

I feel on the verge of panic all the time. I struggle to eat and drink when I'm like this which doesn't help the overall wellbeing I know. My husband wants to help but has a busy full time job and I'm terrified of adding more stress to his plate. What good am I to him if I can't look after my kids properly, or myself.

I just don't know what to do. I would contact crisis but I'm afraid of all the visits and that causing worry for my kids.

Please if anyone has any advice or positive hope let me know. Thank you

I'm sorry to hear that OP. What exactly are you feeling able to eat in a typical day? Are you keeping up with fluids? The lack of food can perpetuate the nausea too unfortunately, it's like a loop. 4 weeks is still early days for an ssri, what dose are you on?

I had CBT, did a mindfulness course, had hypnotherapy and EMDR. It all helped in different ways but the hypnotherapy was amazing as I didn’t really have to do anything I just felt more relaxed.

Op have you tried buspirone for your anxiety? My GP has prescribed them for me 30mg a day as my anxiety is really bad as well they do help might be worth asking

I'm now on 150mg of sertraline, increased only a week ago. Doctors are wondering if part of my nausea is related to the increasing of dosages. I'm only managing to eat small things, banana, plain toast, jacket potato, only when my anxiety is calmer, which at the moment is a bit hit and miss. I'm trying where I can. Even though i feel like im failing a lot of the days at the moment. Don't really want to have to go on shakes again because it reminds me of a traumatic time in my life when i was very unwell with my first daughter, but I might have to. I'm drinking ok I think.

I'm really hoping the medication kicks in soon. I used to be on sertraline and only changed to try something different which is probably what got me into this whole mess. Dreading the half term when I can't hide my anxiety from the kids. And the lack of routine won't help me either.

Thank you for all the messages

Definitely messing with meds and increasing dosage can cause nausea, I know starting my citalopram I felt so sick for weeks and really struggled to eat too. I also have emetophobia so the nausea causes anxiety for me too. It's good that you're still eating something each day even if it's small, you're trying your best.