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Original poster

Can anyone offer me small human kindness

119 replies

LovingHelper · 09/02/2025 22:31

I am currently on a hospital ward following a failed suicide attempt a few days ago.
I am sectioned, waiting for a mental health bed to be available.
Only my eldest daughter has visited and bought me essentials. Friend 1 berated down the phone to me how bad I was as a person. Friend 2 is currently busy with a divorce so understanbly not available to me.
I am a single mother with no contact with mum and only a self absorbed brother.
I don't know if it's the antipsychotics but I feel so numb, I have no feelings for my children or anything else.
I feel shame and embarrassment for failing and want to try again.
I am on a busy ward, constantly under observation. I just need someone to talk to. Thank you

OP posts:
AyrnotAir · 09/02/2025 22:34

I'm so sorry you're going through a really difficult time op. I've been there twice with my own daughter making attempts on her life. What I can tell you is there is hope. She is in a much better place now. Training to be a mental health nurse, with a lovely boyfriend and much better mental health. You are important and needed in this world. Your daughter loves you and I'm glad you're here ❤️

Turmerictolly · 09/02/2025 22:37

This is a difficult time for you now with lots of emotions swirling around. Your daughter would want you here and I'm sure you are loved although you may not be able to see this yet. Try to stick with the treatment- it really will help you. A stranger holding your hand.

Panickingnowhelp · 09/02/2025 22:38

I typed out a long message but I was waffling.
Truth is I don't really know what to say to you, I don't want to patronise or pretend to know how you feel either.
I think you should feel neither shame or embarrassment.
You are unwell and what you think you want to do is a very permanent decision.
I would imagine the medication is making you feel numb.
What do you do there whilst waiting to be moved? Is there anything to occupy your time, I would expect being alone with your thoughts won't be helpful.
You are important and you mean something in these world, be kind to yourself x

Original poster
LovingHelper · 09/02/2025 22:38

Thank you for you reply, I have been suicidal before and sectioned. I just never thought I would be going through it again.
Your words are kind but I just can't feel them. I'm so glad to hear about your daughter, look how far she has come x

OP posts:
myplace · 09/02/2025 22:39

I’m sorry to be little use- I’m about to fall asleep. I do wish you every good thing, starting with good sleep and hope for tomorrow.

KarlaKK · 09/02/2025 22:39

Wishing you all the best. This is the low point. You can get the help you need to get on an even keel. I know many that have been in the same situation that have improved their lives no end with help. Take care x

Ashwapanda · 09/02/2025 22:40

Oh OP, sending a huge hug. I don't have any words of wisdom, just to say I'm sure you are loved and needed and important to people in your life, they may just not be very good at expressing it. I really hope you get support and can find some light in this dark time. Sending all good wishes x

Original poster
LovingHelper · 09/02/2025 22:40

The problem is I have intrusive thoughts and voice in my head telling me I can't trust the Mental health team. I'm unable to share my feelings with them as unfortunately last time I was unwell I lost custody of my children.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 09/02/2025 22:41

Sending a massive hug Flowers

your going to be ok x

Pinkpillow7 · 09/02/2025 22:42

Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey

Original poster
LovingHelper · 09/02/2025 22:42

Thank you for you.reply everyone. It means alot to me. I hope I am not coming across as attention seeking as I try to hide my emotions away. I can't stay in the hospital any longer and looking for a way out.

OP posts:
Veryverycalmnow · 09/02/2025 22:42

Things can and do get better for people all the time. I hope you get some good help. Friends can be shit but not everyone can handle someone close to them doing something like this. I wish you well and hope that there is lots of help available to you.

Touty · 09/02/2025 22:45

Sending you love and best wishes. I’ve struggled with poor mental health and depression most of my life, I know what it’s like to feel desperate. There is always hope, there is always a chance to turn things around, take this chance now xxx

Ladyluckinred · 09/02/2025 22:45

OP, I’m sending you the biggest, virtual, cuddle! I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’ve been experiencing to lead you here and it breaks my heart that this was the only option you could see for yourself. I’m glad you’re alive, because you are valuable and deserving of peace and happiness. Take it day by day now my luv and go slowly. Today is the start of a new journey for you and I hope the support you get is robust and plenty. However, if you need more, please
reach out on here. I’ve seen so many helpful resources shared on MNs so don’t hesitate to ask. Go gently ❤️ xxx

SereneCapybara · 09/02/2025 22:46

I'm sure it's a cliché you have heard before but it is true that when you are in this state and recovering from it, the trick is to keep breathing. That is really all you need to do or expect from yourself. You don't need to feel anything else right now.

It's good enough to want to feel something for your daughter, to want to feel love and gratitude that she showed up for you, and commitment to getting better so you can parent her with love and consistency. But if you'd had a heart attack, no one would expect you to prioritise those feelings over your own recovery. You have been seriously ill recently and it takes time to recover. That's allowable. It's perfectly understandable. Try to keep your distance from anyone who doesn't understand this.

AyrnotAir · 09/02/2025 22:46

It's your meds making you feel numb, you do love your children. They are masking your feelings.

You can trust the nurses as much as you trust us strangers across the Internet who all want the best for you, as do they. Those nurses are the same as my daughter. Some of them have probably gone in to that role because they too have suffered with their mental health, the same as you and want to help others too. Do you think you'd feel able to write down how you are feeling on your phone, if you don't feel able to say it out loud about the thoughts you are having and show it to the one you trust the most or feel most comfortable with?

Londog · 09/02/2025 22:47

When you’re going through the hell you are in, please, keep going . The sun will come out again, don’t feel alone, any of us could be where you are now, when our capacity buckets overflow xxx

Scutterbug · 09/02/2025 22:48

Oh bless you. I’ve been sectioned multiple times so happy to answer any questions you might have. Take small steps, this too shall pass x

IamFree1 · 09/02/2025 22:48

I don't have the right words and didn't want to read and run. Sending you much love and hugs 💕

MarioSis · 09/02/2025 22:48

I don't want to read and run. Here's wishing you better day when you can smile again and be able to love yourself. Hope you will get better x

Flustration · 09/02/2025 22:49

Hi, 13 years ago my friend had her first admission and also temporarily lost custody of her DC. She's had a few bumps in the road since then, but now enjoys a very stable and very beautiful life (with her DC)

How you feel now is not how you will always feel.

I can't pretend to know what it's like for you at the moment, but I care and want lovely things for you.

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 09/02/2025 22:51

Sending you the biggest hug OP. I've been where you are, 12 years ago. I'm so thankful now that I'm still alive xx

Sexisthairdressers · 09/02/2025 22:51

Sending you lots of good wishes and a virtual hug. I'm sure things will get better. You have so many people rooting for you here xx

PickAChew · 09/02/2025 22:52

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and feel so isolated when you really need that human contact, right now.

What little things have you enjoyed when you're well?

Seaside1234 · 09/02/2025 22:52

You are beautiful, you matter, the world needs you in it, your children need you. You can recognise that it's the voices in your head telling you those things, so you know on some level it's not true - the people looking after you want you to get better, so do I. Hang on in there, I promise there is light xx