Just need to talk to someone

[Meandmyjoe]

Hi, I have often used mumsnet as an outlet to rant and ask advice about our baby. He is 8 months old tomorrow and I'm a complete mess.

He is such an unsettled grumpy baby that sometimes I can't do anything other than cry with him. People kept telling me that it would get easier at 3 months, then 6 now 9 months. I'm so tired of waiting for the turning point and the end is never insight.

The truth is that it hasn't got easier. DS still cries at everything, won't go in a buggy, cries in the car, can not sit still. Has to be up in my arms looking around and on the move. People keep telling me this will get easier when he is mobile but the problem ishe won't spend enough time on the floor to actually learn to crawl so I have no idea how he is ever going to develop.

Today I feel so shit. Took ds to the doctors today to see if there really is anything wrong with him. I've tried talking to my health visitor but she just tells me to leave him to cry. I can't do this and I don't see the good it would do.

Anyway, had a huge argument with dh today (probably my fault). We are just so fed up of how shit our life has become. I love ds soooooo much but nothing seems to make him happy for anymore than a few minutes before he's whinging to be on the move again.

I've cried so much today. Had to litterally bite my wrist to stop me from shouting at ds. He doesn't deserve such a shit mum. I really can't make him happy. I have no family other than my sister who understand quite how demanding our baby is. It's heartbreaking when I see other people breezing along with their smiling cooing babies and I'm breaking my back pacing around with ours. He weighs 23lbs now and I'm shattered. DH works 12 hour shifts and I am so so so lonely.

Please talk to me, I really just want to run away. I would never do this as I adore our baby and my dh but things are just not getting easier.

How are things? Seem to have killed the thread - sorry. Hope all OK.

Things are going much much better thank you. Lovely of you to ask. DS is still a bit of a whinger but I think a lot of it is just him making a noise because he can! He doesn't seem upset and rarely actually cries. Just moans and shouts a lot! He is very loud! Everything he does is loud, he seems to just shout all the time but at least he laughs loudly too now! He has the most amazingly infectious laugh. It really is gorgeous to hear after months of misery! He smiles a fair bit too whereas before we had to work very hard to make him happy. I think things are slowly improving. Certainly my mood is lifting a lot. I felt very stable all day yesterday and today even though I have been alone for 13 hours with ds. I only once started to feel a bit rocky this afternoon when ds cried. I quickly pulled myself together and it was over and done with in a few minutes, rather than me feeling shit and angry at myself.

Really sounds as though you're through the worst. I'm so glad, and you're both doing fantastically well. The contrast between dd now and back in the pre 9-10 month days is startling. SOunds as though under the grumps the poor lad's been having about digestion or whatever, he can enjoy the world and eventually have a great time with you so that you can enjoy things too. Brilliant that you haven't felt too down the last few days. I used to have 13-14 hour days with dd too (dh commutes 2.5 hrs twice or 3 times a week). So great to read that things seem so much better for you.

Thanks minimitch. It's tough having such looooong days alone with a grumpy baby isn't it?! So glad things have turned out great for you now though, I am hopeful that the same will happen for us too.

I had a bit of a grotty day yesterday, ds was very grumpy all morning but he woke up at 5am and wouldn't go back to sleep. I think his grumpiness was deffinitely linked to him being completely knackered. He cheered up a lot after his morning nap and I coped! I must admit I did feel awfully down in the morning. DH has been working a lot this week though. He was on a training course during the day over the weekend and was also working 12 hour nights so I have been completely alone with ds for ages so I think it all got a bit much. I went to my dads house for the afternoon just to get out and about and actually ds was fairly happy there so it was nice.

Thankfully dh is off work for 4 days now to recover (although he is in bed right now as he hasn't slept for more than an hour every day for the past 5 days!)

Things are still pretty hard but I keep telling myself that ds is only 8 months old, he has no other way of telling me what he wants other than whinging and crying. I really hope it passes soon but I do think things are very very gradually improving.

It's sad though, cos just one bad day makes me feel awful like I'm back at square 1 again.

Also I find myself wondering if there is actually something 'wrong' with ds! He is VERY loud and he seems to shout a lot, like he's extremely angry, he goes red in the face and tenses up whist he shouts out really loudly. Then he relaxes and goes back to whatever he was doing. Is that normal??! It's not just high pitched squealing like other babies! I can't work out whether he just likes the sound it makes or whether he doesn't actually realise he's doing it! Anyway, if anyone else has experienced it, let me know!

Think I may post that last bit on the behaviour board just to make sure my ds isn't the only shouty baby!