General support thread 2

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome. No judgement and kindness all around x

PS I think I'm a bit manic at the moment. Easily mistaken for rising from the ashes like a phoenix as a new, stronger version of myself. But I'm sceptical about that.

snowfoxglove
I hear you about powering through. hope you are okay today xx

@almondmilk123 Welcome! You'll find people here non-judgmental and supportive and this place and people here helped a lot improve my life. Still have to keep calm and carry on but it's better than it was.

Your comment about vultures that comment in Relationships made me chuckle. My whole MN experience improved when I simply started avoiding Relationships and AIBU.

MN can be a good place but it's just sensible to avoid parts of it. People actually give good sensible advice and as you said yourself, most of vultures spend their time in relationships (and AIBU) so other sections are far less toxic.

sending unmumsnetty hugs to everyone x

Hi all old and new! Sorry I've been quiet. I'm doing ok. Hope everyone else is too. Can't sleep tonight though but can't pinpoint why. I'll be shattered tomorrow!

Helplessandheartbroke

Hello and <waves>. hope you are not too tired today and can find some rest time.

snowfoxglove
thankyou and absolutely!

I am finding it hard to sleep. There are three lines I don't want to cross:

1. my family is irrevocably toxic
2. my husband is a coercively controlling narcissist
3. i'm mentally unwell and in urgent need of care.

I talked to my husband about it last night, told him he was too close to the line of coercive control and narcissism (in some ways at certain times). His reaction was to thank me for not saying he was over the line. Which wasn't quite the point. I don't know if he's over the line or even where the line is. Same with the other two lines.

It's got to be a good sign that I can say that to him, but the fact that I needed to say it highlights a problem. He should feel sad and reflective. At least he didn't get angry.

I asked him to summarise, which he's good at. He said I was talking about the messy middle. I've gone on about the messy middle a lot but I sort of felt short changed by that because the messy middle has a kind of stability about it.

In my head, I'm way beyond the messy middle. I'm feeling like those three lines are three corners of a triangle that are kind of closing in on me ever tighter.

Those three lines, even though I appreciate that they may not be true, or the truth may be messy, have built up around me in a way that feels like some kind of death trap.

@almondmilk123 I will need more background in order to comment sufficiently if you're willing to share?

Helplessandheartbroke it's all in the OP of my thread - it's a bloody long one, apologies in advance www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5175568-everything-is-destroyed-relationship-with-my-family-my-husband-my-friends?page=11&reply=138652100

Hi everyone

I'm recovering from a bug and very lethargic.

Still upset about my breakup because it really was my fault and the guilt and shame are painful.

I'm in therapy though and working on how best to move forward.

I have therapy on my lunch break once a week and I do feel a bit drained afterwards and I'm trying not to be hard on myself because what's done is done.

Evening everyone

Well another weekend done. I feel better this weekend. Healthy nutrition, exercise, boundaries holding up. Oh and finally got good sleep that was very healing.

I'm just writing this down hoping to remember this moment. Life is about peaks and valleys so I'll take my wins when possible.

Avoiding toxic online spaces helped a lot.

Sending everyone UnMumsnetty hugs xx

Glad you are feeling a little better @snowfoxglove im having an anxious day 😢

I just hate this so much, ill be fine for a few weeks and then ill just dip again and feel like im back to square one. And there doesn’t seem to be any real reason! Just got that awful anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and feeling like I could cry any minute.. anxiety is so sucky!!

@Whycantgiraffesdance I completely understand how you're feeling. Things seem perfectly fine for so long and then suddenly it hits and the whole day feels off.

Allow yourself at times to rest if you can. I am trying to be very active every day but sometimes very small things will start to bother me so I will just head back home.

I completely relate though. I wonder what it's like to live anxiety-free x

Same. I am just so done. So tired and can't sleep. Confidence completely gone. Mornings are the worst as I wake up at 4.30 and can't get back to sleep, so just panic increasingly about coping with the day. Wishing strength and calm to everyone.

Thank you both. Not doing any better today, I feel like my anxiety is so high I can barely breathe! And when I’m anxious I can’t eat so now I’ve got a funny stomach.

it’s seems to happen every month, I’ll have a good few weeks and then I nosedive for a week and it’s torture. I hate living like this x

Hey all

Sorry just catching up. Done my cleaning and now having a bubble bath so I'm nice and relaxed for once this evening. How's everyone doing today? Everyone's come so far so don't worry about days where we dip. Focus on the good days x

Hello. I'm really struggling. OCD around every little decision. Back pain. Can't sleep. Total despair. Think I need to split up with DP but scared I won't cope. Worried I'm going to lose my job and ruin dad's mental health. Lots of suicidal thoughts. It's bleak. Had a better evening last night but when exhausted and awake from 5 am on Sunday it all goes wrong again. Just not sure how to survive. Sorry for the splurge just really struggling.

Hey all hope everyone is doing okay, I keep checking in now and again. Upped my meds again and been a little on edge so hope it settles soon, sending hugs to everyone ❤️

Hi everyone

Pushed myself too hard and burnt out today. I cried. It's weird because I didn't cry in ages but so much stress....

Hugs to all xx

@snowfoxglove that was me on Tuesday and I said the same, bot cried in ages. Hope you're ok. And hope everyone else is OK. Me and dh are off for a much needed spa break on Saturday so I'm looking forward to that

I truly appreciate your friendship #)@Helplessandheartbroke I am so grateful I have known you since last December and now it's October. It really does pick me up hearing from you xx

Things are finally peaceful at home. I just overdid it trying to get back on SM and connected with friends and I had three hours of sleep, entitely my mistake, nobody else to blame.

Saturday is almost here lovely and I hope you had a good time on your spa Break. You deserve it hon x

Sending everyone hugs on the thread. Even if we get better sometimes we stumble and it hurts ❤

Hi everyone

How are you today?

I'm struggling with hormones and still missing my ex a lot. But trying to be gentle.

I'm avoiding social media for a week (at least) so I can stop comparing.

This thread is great. Thank you.

Hi all. Hope everyone's doing OK. I'm doing alright atm. Still getting some intrusive thoughts accompanied by some anxiety but quite short lived. I sort of don't like to admit that things are OK, sort of feels like I'm tempting fate. Anyway hope your all having an OK weekend. X

Hey all

@ilovedogs1 I'm like you, feel a bit weird saying I'm OK at the moment as if nor to jinx myself but hey we all worked through this no? We deserve a good day now and again.

I've had civil and polite group of conversations with my mum, fixed my sleeping pattern, made some friends (and had drama there as well ofc) but also made some decent friends online like you lot xx

Hope everyone is okayish and if not you will be x

Hey @snowfoxglove ditto! I don't come on every day any more but I'll always be back to speak to the amazing friends I've made like you. Glad you're reconnecting with old friends, how you finding it? X

@Ilovedogs1 @JamSandle hey! You both sound happier I hope that's the case x

I've had trouble sleeping last night but I fell asleep earlier than usual. Tired now so another early night tonight! X

Hi helpless

Unfortunately I'm not doing good.

I have finished a course of therapy and reached out to my ex. He doesn't want tonget back together and I really can't see much of a future for myself.

Having some very dark thoughts lately. Just feel very alone and crying a lot. Wish I could go back and change things.