Social taken my children

[FLICKFLICK89]

Probably posting wrong here first time user Lost my children for a second time due to mainly mental health there already on care order from previous different issues what are My chances of getting them bk as 2years been suffering and asking for.help but nothing was put in to place to help me till 3weeks b4 they where taken

I’m trying to be gentle op as it is clear that you are not in a good way.

I think we both know that social services wouldn’t take dc away just because their mum was in and out of hospital, or had health anxiety, if they didn’t also have grave concerns about the father.

At first you said they had no concerns about him, now you claim they took your children because he didn’t send them an email telling them you’d gone into hospital.

You don’t have to tell us on here, but you DO need to start being honest with yourself. That is the only way you can start to get your dc back.

Because they saying he was dishonest and didn't email her when I went to the hospital that she needed to no everything

What you're saying doesn't make sense.

You've said that you weren't meeting their needs because you were ill - but dad was there. If HE was adequately meeting their needs then they'd not have been removed.

Until you're both willing to accept responsibility for where you are, nothing will change.

Focus on the good. It's brilliant that they are with their grandparents and just down the road. That is so much better than them being with strangers the other side of town. That's a blessing.

Whilst you miss them terribly I know, using this space to get well again is a much better use of your time and energy that fighting this decision. It's shitty that there are lies in the report but fighting legally to prove they are lies isn't going to help as much as focusing on your mental health and proving that there's no danger of any such things happening in the future.

Whilst it's shitty that the support and services you need from the NHS is either not there or is totally inadequate sometimes, it's brilliant that you have now (finally) been offered help and are engaging with it. Especially if this doesn't seem enough, remember thar the NHS isn't the only portal to such help, there are charities and community groups you can engage with too.

All this will take time and energy. Sometimes putting your children's needs first means letting their daily care be taken over by someone else to give you the space for the hard work ahead of you. Good luck..

OP as someone who suffered a severe mental health breakdown many years ago, I just wanted to chime in to say that at the time I truly did not understand why my kids were staying with relatives and I tried (somewhat, cause I was so ill) to fight it. In hindsight I am so so thankful to my relatives for stepping in and doing what’s right for my children. My husband was well, coping very well with everything but even he needed support and that’s why they only visited home for a brief period. Social services were never involved with us because I was treated by crisis team and my husband was supportive. Trust me the decision to move your children, even if temporarily, wasn’t an easy one. I do completely understand how painful this is for you but it doesn’t have to be forever and you will be able to rebuild the relationship with your children once you are better. Kids are resilient, kids are forgiving. As for right now, focus entirely on yourself and getting well, that is the BEST thing you can do for your children. Don’t put them through even more by fighting tooth and nail to get them home.

But would u class that as a concern tho ???

They was already on a care order and seeing me ill and in and out of hospital and ambulance round I wasn't meeting there needs and as for dad I wouldn't say not contacting her is a concern this is why we getting legal advice

@FLICKFLICK89 we both know that children with at least one stable parent aren't removed. Ok. So, steps;

Again?

Yes?

Your children weren't removed because of covid and a lack of an email.

You know this.

Steps.

You must have had a report, you must have had a social worker?

Yes?

If you were in hospital and not well, what was your husband doing?

If you were in hospital and not well, he didn't lose your children because he didn't email.

So there was an order before covid? Yes? A CPO or a CiN?

Tell me, I can help you, I can, but steps, I am not going to push against you or judge you ok. But you have to be truthful. Ok?

This is what was in the report

Op, I’m afraid you aren’t going to get anywhere with a ‘legal challenge’ and seem to be doggedly focusing on the wrong things if you want your dc back.

Lots of mums end up going into hospital for spells at a time for various reasons. If there is a parent at home meeting the children’s needs then they would not need to be forcibly removed.

The only way I could see it being a concern that their dad did not tell them about you being in hospital was if he was not supposed to be looking after the dc by himself.

@FLICKFLICK89 I can only assume that your husband/partner is not seen as a reliable carer for your children. Is this true? Yes?

That's the truth no there where on a care order so social could move them when ever they wanted it's so hard to explain over txt I think they expected him to get me to leave because of my mental health issues we only have bits of report 1 a4 piece of paper this is why we been trying to find out more aswl as other professionals emails them to see what's going on but no 1 has had any response

I have had social services involved due to my extreme MH issues, my DH was made responsible for care and stepped up to the mark and was directly asked this. Through being so unwell I came in to contact with other women with serious MH conditions who had lost their children. I’m afraid in every case it was obvious why they had their children removed.

Your partner was dishonest because he chose to hide that you had been in hospital again when he has obviously been told to inform them of anything that could affect the children and their Mother being in hospital will affect them as it would any child regardless of it’s a MH or a physical issue. An omission of the truth is actually a lie even if you and your partner think it isn’t.

I went to a&e about 30times rang 111 more times I can remember ambulance panic attacks thinking something bad was going to happen to me kids witness this is normal

Mine are already on a care order so they could move them anytime I just no what am.telling u all

Do you have a mental health advocate at all? some charities offer this service free of charge [[https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/finding-an-advocate/ www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/finding-an-advocate/

I can tell from your posts that you struggle with communication and having someone help you with understanding what is happening that is neutral would help. Obviously I have no idea if they can assist you but it would be worth a try.

Yes I do it all hard to explain as and just want the full report and we only have a a4 sheet with what iv told u all on but email after email and no response

You can only do your best. Try to get well, show social services you are doing all you can to get well. When you are in a better place show you can provide a stable home and that you are ready for them to come back. Good luck.

This is what my mother would have said when social services were assessing our family. Her mental health has had profound effects on myself and siblings. She never considered the impact, thinking everyone else was getting it wrong and we should be with her because a 'child should be with their mother'. Obviously we don't know the situation any more than you've said, but I would strongly encourage you to consider how your child/ren are really feeling and the impact your health/behaviour has on them.

Ok, I'm guessing they were on a CiN, so just some help around the family, but SS are aware of your health anxiety and if you are repeatedly presenting to a&e and the resultant effects on your children would be concerning.

And if your husband is covering for you, that's not great, because it means you're not getting the help you need and that has a knock-on effect for your children, you know, they're going to grow up in anxiety and worry, and you don't want that for them do you?

You don't. @FLICKFLICK89 my love, you've spoken about your anxiety and the effect it has on your life, I don't know where it came from, but If I could guess, it was because someone didn't treat you well when you were young.

And I see that you want to protect your children. You do see that the best way you can love and protect your children is by being honest and engaging with help, this is how you get to live with them, and live with them well and be a good mother. Yes?

Yes? Of course. I know you know this.

What was the first care order for if it was before covid and your health anxiety?
Are you on medication for your anxiety and do you take it regularly as in same time every day? Maybe you need a health review at doctors, bloods done etc, these are small starts to getting better. And maybe some counselling, watch a few people on you tube who help with relaxing techniques, cbt etc

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you.
Social Services don't remove children from their parents without good cause.

I think you must have known that it was likely to happen.

It's horrible to be without your children but sometimes, if a mother cannot offer a stable home environment, and a father isn't fully honest about what's going on, it is best for the children to be in a settled home with their extended family.

Things must have been quite bad for this to have happened. If you keep phoning 111 and 999 for no reason, that shows you're very unwell mentally.

Have you had any in-patient psychiatric stays to try to address this?

@PallyRoe This has some truth, because I know of someone who already had so many reasons why they were involved with SS, and was then having her third child in hospital and had left her ex partner of the previous two kids, with one of their children, who was not allowed to be with them, so that and all the other reasons meant that child and the new baby were removed immediately.
Never got them back, but then the mother was not honest, and didn't do enough I don't think, to get them back. Whether she could of or not I'm not completely sure.

But they were already on a care order, so there are reasons for that, without including what has happened since then.

This is why I was asking for the help I didn't want my issus to rub off to my kids and cause them to has the same

Drinking