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Original poster

Social taken my children

110 replies

FLICKFLICK89 · 01/12/2023 20:36

Probably posting wrong here first time user Lost my children for a second time due to mainly mental health there already on care order from previous different issues what are My chances of getting them bk as 2years been suffering and asking for.help but nothing was put in to place to help me till 3weeks b4 they where taken

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:17

Drinking?
Do you mean you've been drinking today?

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:19

But there was a reason I was feeling physical symptoms ov pain and obviously it was health anxiety until u go threw it I was literally feeling I was dieing

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:21

FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:19

But there was a reason I was feeling physical symptoms ov pain and obviously it was health anxiety until u go threw it I was literally feeling I was dieing

Flick, how often do you call ambulances?

Do you tell them you've got chest pain?

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:21

Noooo that's why care order years ago was put in place

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:24

Please can you quote the post you're replying to.

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:25

Yeah and iv been checked over and over again It feels like a heart attack every time only a few time more going to a&e and I would sit there all night cause i am convinced something is really wromg with me it got worse after aboution and then I had psychosis and put on a mentle ward for 6days and discharge with no input or help said it was caused by stress

OP posts:
Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:26

The drinking comment sorry am new on here

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:32

Are you still suffering with health anxiety? Do you still call 111 all the time?

And if you spend hours in A & E several times a week, who is looking after the children?

PumpkinSpiceKatie · 02/12/2023 08:36

I'm going to answer the main question of your post:
'What are my chances of getting them back?'

Right now, the chances seem low.

Reading your posts, the situation sounds like this:

The children live in an unstable home. Their mother has serious health anxiety which puts her in hospital regularly. She has even been detained on a mental health ward for 6 days.

Under the terms of the current Care Order, their father is supposed to tell SS when mum isn't around or is in hospital. He hasn't.

The children have been removed to a safe place.

Your job now is to engage with SS. You've been asking for help. Take all the help now. If you see it as a criticism or accuse SS of 'taking your children' you will get nowhere.

You have no grounds for a 'legal challenge' and talking like that will only show resistance - that doesn't help get them home.

Take your anxiety medication, properly, to give it a chance to work. Do everything else you are told/asked to do.

As much as it hurts, your children cannot be with you right now. Work on getting yourself physically well, mentally well, and able to offer the calm and safe home for them.

Good luck Flick, I hope this is the low point and you can only go up from here.

thedamnseason · 02/12/2023 08:38

Kitanai · 02/12/2023 06:59

I’m trying to be gentle op as it is clear that you are not in a good way.

I think we both know that social services wouldn’t take dc away just because their mum was in and out of hospital, or had health anxiety, if they didn’t also have grave concerns about the father.

At first you said they had no concerns about him, now you claim they took your children because he didn’t send them an email telling them you’d gone into hospital.

You don’t have to tell us on here, but you DO need to start being honest with yourself. That is the only way you can start to get your dc back.

Edited

Absolutely this. If he was a reliable and safe parent who is able to prioritise the children over anything else, including you then they would be cared for by him.

Was it ever suggested that you leave the home and he stays with the kids? Is that an option?

I do think you both need to be more honest with yourselves about how this has happened.

You say you've asked for help and I believe you, services are so stretched at the moment that people aren't getting what they need. But what steps have you both taken to shield the children from what has been happening in the home.

I also think you both need a better awareness and understanding of the devastating impact that parental mental health issues can have on children.
Now that's going to feel like people blame you, but it's just a fact. There doesn't need to be intent there for a child to be harmed.

You may love your children deeply, want the very best for them but maybe can't be the person who cares for them day to day at the moment.

bellac11 · 02/12/2023 08:40

OP, I have answered on your other thread, probably not helpful to have 2 running at the same time, the other thread is a bit clearer.

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:42

Thank you I wasn't detained I begged them to put me is there as I had pycosis and new something was wrong and I could have left when I wanted but I wanted to get well so stayed but they deemed me fit 2 leave after 6 days there wasn't much else i could ov done so then it went round in circles again bk at a&e iv never been threw anything like.this in my life ever

OP posts:
Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:43

Sorry like I said am new on here so really didn't no what I was doing to start with

OP posts:
Whattodowithit88 · 02/12/2023 08:45

You can’t provide a stable home, you need to really think about that and accept it instead of having an answer and excuse for everything. Until you accept your actions and learn from them you can’t move forward.

Your children are now in a stable home, for their own sake leave them there, that is the best place for them. You need to concentrate on yourself and work towards getting better before you even consider trying to get the kids back.

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:52

OP if you were psychotic you would have lacked insight.

You need to try to stop blaming social services and examine what your own role in this has been. Children are not taken away from their parents without a good reason.

Your children's father must also have had his own issues.

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:54

How can you move forward when there is no support mentley?

OP posts:
IReallyMissPrince · 02/12/2023 08:55

Your children are with their grandparents. They’re OK. They’re safe.

Your priority now has to be to get well and to show you can provide care and stability for your children. You can’t just ‘get them back’. It will be a process.

The best thing you can do now is have some acceptance that this is where you are at. Engage with social care. Go to your health appointments and follow their advice. Accept that services might not be perfect or put in place as quickly as you like - that’s reality.

Going into either fight mode or victim mode won’t help you get your kids back. You’re going to have to show some humility and acceptance that things have gone wrong and you’re not well enough to provide care for your kids, and show real willing to turn things around for them.

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:55

I wasn't at the home at the time thankfully but my own role I tryed to get help but no what wanted to listen apparently i didn't fit the criteria

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 08:57

FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 08:55

I wasn't at the home at the time thankfully but my own role I tryed to get help but no what wanted to listen apparently i didn't fit the criteria

Sorry OP I am having trouble understanding what you mean.

monsteramunch · 02/12/2023 09:00

OP gently, even if you disagree with their reasoning / beliefs about your partner, they just have expressed deep concerns about his ability to adequately care for your children. Otherwise they simply would not have been removed from his care.

Removal is a last resort and having one capable parent would not result in them being removed.

Even if you disagree with the concerns they have about him, what are their concerns about him?

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 09:02

I wasn't at the home when I had the pycosis breakdown thankfully

And every time iv been at a&e the crisis or mentle health would say I don't fit the criteria so they wouldn't help me at that point they told me there was worser poorler people then me bit ov a kick in teeth but thankfully now after referral lots ov referrals there is support in place now am.not blaming any1 I just need and wanted and asked for support

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2023 09:04

Do you acknowledge that your children's home life has been chaotic?

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 09:05

Not being open and honest when iv been to hospital or when iv been poorly which I really don't think that's a concern mainly not getting in touch with her well iv got 1 A4 peice of paper surly there is a bigger report then that that's what it says and my health

OP posts:
ChristmasBarginShop · 02/12/2023 09:05

I'd say forget about the children for a moment. They are safe, they have food, they are warm, they will continue going school/ nursery and they are with caring family so not with complete strangers.

Focus on yourself, get better! Access all the help you can get and embrace it! Take your medication, go to appointments, never be late or skip all together.

As part of the get better plan make sure you can see your children regularly to keep in touch. Maybe suggest a contact centre for neutral ground. Stress how important this is for the children - not yourself.

I am not sure where dad is in all of this. Maybe he needs help himself. In this case he needs to do all he can just like yourself to get better.

Original poster
FLICKFLICK89 · 02/12/2023 09:08

This is exactly what am guna do the only reason I want legal advice is to see what we can do in future as social services won't even reply to anyone's emails

OP posts: