Failed at my career and want to die

[workfailure1234567890]

I know nobody can fix this and I don't need to be told this is my fault or that I deserve it because I already know that. So you don't need to say it.

I've failed at my career, my job is stressful and miserable, and my employer doesn't value me - which is fair enough because I'm worthless and useless. I can't get a different job because I'm useless and a failure.

Every day I go to work telling myself it's a new day and it's just a job and it will be fine. And every day by the time I come home I just want to die because my life is pointless and I'm a failure.

I already have the number for Samaritans and all the relevant professionals know I feel this way and have basically said it's a logical reaction to my circumstances. It's just not fixable and I have no future.

I've asked for help, accepted help, helped myself, but there's nothing that can be done to make my life bearable. I assume people are just waiting for me to get on with it and end my life now, because there's nothing anybody can do.

I was hoping today would be different or better and I'm so disappointed this is what it's come to.

Your job does not define you. Your job does not define your worth. It’s just a job. A way to make money to live your life. The job is the problem. Not you. Find another job. Hell take some time off to get better then think about what you actually want to do.
There are plenty of jobs, retrain, work in a supermarket. Do something that makes you happy because this is clearly not making you happy and life is too short to feel like this because of a stupid job

You are not defined by your job or career and the one you currently have clearly isn’t right for you!

It may not always feel like it but you do have choices and sometimes you just need to take a leap and take some time out. Do you think you need some time off sick to work on your mental health? If your work pays sickness this is something you should consider.

I have found myself in a job I can’t cope with and have made the decision to leave. Immediately I made that decision, I felt lighter and more free than I have done for ages. It’s very powerful to take back control but not at all easy.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this

You’re not a failure. Your worth is not tied to your career in any way.

So you’re not doing the best at your job, that just means you’re not in the right role.

Taylor Swift is a super successful pop star, but that doesn’t mean she’d make a good lawyer/teacher/accountant. You’re allowed to change your profession, and to keep looking until you find something that’s right for you.

In the here and now, please see your GP. Show them what you have written here and ask to be signed off. You need and deserve some time to rest and concentrate on feeling better.

One day this feeling will be a distant memory.

@workfailure1234567890 I was in this position a decade ago. Then I moved employer, same industry, and over the years I learned that actually it was the first employer that had a toxic culture and made me feel worthless. I do my job well enough, at least as well as average, and actually I’ve hit higher targets than most, so I’m probably better than average. All the people that put me down at my first employer were wrong. I’m now fairly relaxed, having been near suicidal at my first employer. So how about moving employer, if you can. It made all the difference for me, though it took me years to destress properly. I’m in a really good place now. Hugs xx

According to statistics, the average person has 3 different careers in their lifetime. Why do you think that is? If everyone was brilliant at their career and loved it, they wouldn’t change. They change because it doesn’t fit well - with their skills, their personality, whatever. Find the courage to find what fits.

OP, you could be unemployed from today until the end of your days and that still wouldn’t make you worthless or useless. You are so much more than the money you make. In fact, that is the least interesting thing about you. Have you been brought up with a lot of pressure to achieve? You sound utterly miserable and my heart breaks for you. There is so much more to life op 💐

Let me guess, you are a teacher? You haven’t failed at all!

Please take some time off!

Op, your post made me feel really sad for you, and I'm so sorry that you do not feel valued. When so many hours of life are spent at work it can become all consuming, and if you don't like your job it really is very depressing. But, at the end of the day no job is worth you feeling like this. You can leave, and you can always change career.

Work does not define you as a person and no job is EVER worth your mental health. Your happiness comes first and it's clear that changes need to be made here. Options include getting signed off work by a doctor given how depressed you are, speaking to your manager/HR, meeting up with friends/family to discuss alternative options, trying to get a better work life balance. Deep breaths, good nights sleep and tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully the day you start to make positive changes.

Go see your gp. And change your job, you can do it!

You are probably experiencing a burnout.

You can get through this and find happiness again but you need help and support.

Sometime later you will find a job that you will enjoy and cope with. But now you need to rest.

You are clearly clinically depressed. If you are no good at your job they would get rid of you. No one sits around wanting a person to kill themselves! You need heavy duty counselling and anti depressants.

i don’t know the circumstances but it is just a job.

if this one job is making you miserable, leave: you are much more important than one lousy job that you don’t enjoy anyway.

imagine yourself calm and happy. What is your life like? Is the job gone? Take some time off work - or doesn’t sound like you are mentally fit for work at the moment. Get some sleep, get some exercise. Then start planning for a new career. When you are calmer speak to a career coach.

this will pass.

OP, no job can be that important. I've got plenty, plenty of career disappointments but I can't imagine feeling suicidal over them (have over other stuff).

Why is your job so important to you? IS it really about the job? Is there something else sapping your confidence?

You know the Grimms fairy tale about the old donkey, the old dog, the old cat and the old rooster who get on the road together before their owners kill them for being too old to do their jobs (The musicians of Bremen)?

'Come with me, you can find something better than death anywhere', the donkey says when recruiting his travel companions. I often think of that line.

Please, please don't end it over a bloody job, or anything else. There has to be a way to change things.

Your OP says you think others are expecting you “to end your life.” I can guarantee no one at your work expects this as the logical conclusion to whatever problem has arisen. They would all be horrified if they knew you had those thoughts. You need to get some help—whatever help you’ve had till now has not been good enough!

You do have some hope it's just sometimes hard to see when you are feeling low, the fact you think each day is a new day, and remember we are often more negative about ourselves in our own minds then others are about us. :)

Hope you are doing okay. Can you get some time off work? Have you seen your GP and are you getting any support for your mental health?

I don't know what your job is and whether you are underperforming or not, but they hired you and they kept you on, so you must be doing something right. If there is a particular aspect that you are dreading or feel you are not getting right, can you ask for training?

As others have said, your job does not define you. x

Why would you need to end your life because a job didn't work out?

Many (if not most) of us have had jobs that didn't work out and disappointing and/or downright horrible career experiences at some point.

Obviously in the moment, it feels hopeless and mortifying but you won't feel like this forever - it's just because it's happening now that it feels so awful but you won't always feel this bad.

See your GP and get signed off in the first instance to get some breathing space.

There’s not a job on this planet worth considering ending your life over.

Take care.

Yes, as per PPs, this is burnout, depression and suicidal ideation. This does not mean you have failed or that you are a failure. It means you need help. And it is so hard, and you have to be so brave and vulnerable to ask for that help (at a time when you are feeling at your lowest).

Talk to your GP, get signed off sick from work. You need time away from this as an emergency measure. Have a proper break and do not think about work or keep in touch at all.

Some form of counselling may be helpful at some point. Also, this is not uncommon. Many careers and professions are a bit of a downward spiral that often feels like failure, especially if you have high expectations of yourself. I’ve known many people who’ve felt like this at times - myself included. I didn’t feel like I had any inherent value and I didn’t feel like I was good at anything, leading to feelings of worthlessness. I had to have about 2 months away from work and a lot of support before acknowledging that “I don’t have any value” is an unhelpful thought and not a fact. I still struggle with this but I’m in a much better place now, mentally. I say this because I believe it is possible for things to get better and I hope you believe that too because although you deny it, I can’t help feeling that you’re here because you really do want things to get better. I really hope that they do for you too.

OP, are you a teacher? x

You are depressed and burnt out.

im going to guess that you had put your all into this profession from a young age and now no longer tenable?

well me too, and I’m now two years into restarting my life with new education and new direction.

see your gp for some active support.

Honestly it is just a job. Whatever you did (assuming it's not a criminal matter) is not that bad. You can find a new job, step across to something else, lots of things are possible. We all need to pay the bills and live, but if a job makes you so unhappy or miserable, find something else, even if it pays less. You can always climb back up and earn more money.

Sounds like you need some time off work.

If you get sick pay go off tomorrow. Make a GP appointment and get some help.

I've been rock bottom due to an error at work. I got help. I got better and I (mostly) enjoy my job again.

OP I had this exact experience. It was burnout. I took mental health leave for 5 months, couldn't face going back so resigned. Did some 'gig' type work for a bit (delivered food etc.)

My original plan was to stay in less 'professional' work but after a year or so I felt so different and so much better I went back into my original industry.

People quit jobs, change jobs, emigrate, start a new business, fail a new business, take sick leave etc all the time.

I was worried about being embarrassed, being a failure, but I'm so glad I bit the bullet and just fucked off the job rather than fucking off my whole life.

I wish you all the best, I know it's horrid and scary but you can change gears on your life whenever you want. It's your life.