I know nobody can fix this and I don't need to be told this is my fault or that I deserve it because I already know that. So you don't need to say it.
I've failed at my career, my job is stressful and miserable, and my employer doesn't value me - which is fair enough because I'm worthless and useless. I can't get a different job because I'm useless and a failure.
Every day I go to work telling myself it's a new day and it's just a job and it will be fine. And every day by the time I come home I just want to die because my life is pointless and I'm a failure.
I already have the number for Samaritans and all the relevant professionals know I feel this way and have basically said it's a logical reaction to my circumstances. It's just not fixable and I have no future.
I've asked for help, accepted help, helped myself, but there's nothing that can be done to make my life bearable. I assume people are just waiting for me to get on with it and end my life now, because there's nothing anybody can do.
I was hoping today would be different or better and I'm so disappointed this is what it's come to.