Recovering from breakdown

[EmmaEmerald]

Does anyone have any experience of this?
I thought I'd had a nervous breakdown in my 20s but carried on working. This time I'm knocked out. I got up at 8 and need a nap already!

I think for me
It felt like I completely zoned out and went really calm , it scared me how calm I was because I'm a anxious overthinking constant worrier. Then I started to get such a wooshing in my head and I thought that was the venleflaxine tablets I was on but I felt rock bottom , things like washing up , walking the dogs , brushing my hair all became the hugest battles , I started feeling I couldn't go out because I didn't want to see anyone so they could see me like that and I just felt sad all the time.
I'm on the highest levels of the venleflaxine now , I think I'm slowly coming back but I feel it's changed me for sure

foxlover I think we all need to hang on to those moments we see glimpses of our selves coming back into view xx

@Jen91983 I've definitely experienced the feeling better then it all comes crashing down again. I've had a day or two where things have been better, I've thought I'm turning a corner only to not be able to get out of bed the days after.

@EmmaEmerald I am also finding this thread helpful. It amazes me how much anxiety/mental illness is about out there. Everyone is trying to put a front on but we're all just anxious and stressed. I don't know what the answer is. X

I am not prone to optimism 😂

but I really think we will come through and I'm glad I started this thread, we can look after each other. The thing about posting is you know you're not bothering friends who might be busy or just tired of you, or have similar issues that we don't know about.

we can just chat to each other while we get through it.

@EmmaEmerald I'm really grateful
To have found this thread , thank you all xx

I'm finding this thread really helpful too

I dont have the answers but ive atleast accepted mine. The first time i got anxiety i didnt know what it was & was so glad it was over & i was scared it would come back. I stoppdd going to places & stopped using a shampoo because it reminded me of the time i went through it. I didnt think it would actually come back. But it did. I had my 5th episode in 10 years & this time round i atleast reconised a trigger. Moving house sets it off for me. So atleast i know the next time we move i need to start mirtazipine before it happens to get infront of it.
Right at this moment im at peace with my anxiety but that's only because im currently not going through it. But i know it will happen again. It wasnt a one time thing.
The best way i can explin anxiety is a dark black shadow suffocating me. It follows me everywhere.
In my current okay self the way i view anxiety is fuck it! In big bold letters. Is anything worth making your self that poorly over that its killing your soul.
Believe me i know thats not how it works whe your actually in it. Ive been there enough times to know.
When people say just try get some sleep & its like yeah dont dont you think ive been trying. I was drugged up on Zoplicone & all sorts & i was still wide awake.
When people say try not to worry & its like yeah ive done every anxiety trick in the book from exercise to journaling, worry apps to colouring & its not shifting.

It does go. I cant promise that it wont come back. I think with it not coming back you have to go through a lot of "fish shoveling" (quoted from therapy in a nutshell) (shes really good on YouTube)
But what your all currently going through will lift. I treat mine like i have 10 years left to live ( i dont, well i hope i dont anyway lol. Im 39) but what if i did have 10 years left. I want to do things i want to see things. And i can get abit of a fuck it attitude. Xx

I think it also helps to understand what anxiety really is, the three Fs (fight, flight , freeze) and your hypocampas area of the brain (your rest & restore) amgligdia (three fs) and your frontal cortex ( your drive) you know the term 'sleep on it & see how you feel in the morning) jts because your amiglada will filter through your frontal cortex & hypocampas and empties like a bucket full
When thats not happening your bucket will be too full & it will over flow. Resulting in anxiety.

Anxiety is ultimately a feeling of saftey & having a tribe. It goes back to cave men days & we need it. Its what makes us move quick if a bomb goes off or think quick if we need to make a life changing decision. But its not rational. And will often misread situations & make poor judgments. Good well thought out thinking is for your hypocampas & not the amygdala but your amygdala is fantastic & being strong quick & looking for dangers.

The trouble is our amygdala is going off at things it doesnt need to in morden day living. Or sometimes its trying to tell you something you dont really want to listen to, a relationship or a place for instance.
The hard part is figuring out what to do. If its hysterical then its historical as the saying goes. But it might just be that your doing something that your inner warrior is trying to tell you not to do. Or visa versa

I'll have to google fish shovelling

I haven't found the hysterical/historical thing to be applicable for me but I now understand my freeze response - like ending up with a messy flat - is another form of anxiety.

the lyric from the 1975 Give Yourself A Try - "the only apparatus required for happiness is your pain and fucking going outside" has got me out for a walk a few times! 😂

Sorry to hear that TheBuggerLugs

I hope the increased meds work for you.

The rollercoaster is so frustrating, I was lying down earlier due to nausea and headache. At some point I will pop to the shop and get some crackers to eat plain, I think.

it's shocking how this wrecks energy levels.

Please step away from Google

here's some soothing piano + cat

https://m.youtube.com/@TherapyinaNutshell

Thats the link for therapy in a nutshell to learn pn fish shovelling lol.

Shes really easy to watch & most her videos are short. Not long tangents which is good.

She teaches you not necessarily to get rid of anxiety but how to have these issues & live anyway.

Dr snipes is also very good. Xx

Thelittlebuggers have you tried mirtazipine?

They wont give it to already heavily overweight people because it will make you so hungry. I was given it because i couldnt eat during anxiety.

But for me, & i really cant speak for everyone - different meds for different people. I only needed 4 months on them.
First time i ever took then back in 2013 they first made me feel like i was in a bubble. I didnt like that at all. But i never got that again. Infact the only side effect i get is weight gain. About a stone & a half depending how long your on them for.
Sleep is a side effect, but for me is a freaking welcome side effect. Its just hard to get up in the morning. You could easily close your eyes & go back off again.

And i believe you can take them along side venlafaxine. I know you can prozac anyway.

Your get a better night's sleep on mirtazipine than zoplicone anyway. I can put my life on it you will.

No increased suicidal thoughts.

Its an older drug & doctors tend to like to use newer ones so will have to ask to go on it rather than being recommended it.

Within a week i felt better & i didnt get that off any SSRIs or SNRIs. As i say i cant speak for everyone because we all react differently. But for me it pulled me out where all other drugs made everything worse xx

I understand the weight gain lol. Im 39 now & its definitely not budging the way it used to. Im still trying to get off what i gained from mirtazipine.
I had to go back on it though. My doctor actually laughed at me when asking for something else & said well you have been on all of them so its weight gain or nothing at this point 🤣 i was abit pissed off but lookinf back on it i was actually mental, i had lost my mind. The stupid thing is once your out of it you can look back & laugh a little xx

I really like Therapy in a Nutshell too.

thank you for the links, I will look at them later or tomorrow.

I was feeling terrible about leaving my boyfriend, but interestingly, was looking at my diary the last few months and now see that was absolutely way too full on for me. I'm not blaming him, he mostly did the journey to meet me and obviously I agreed to that number of dates.

But I definitely didn't leave myself enough time to do anything really, never mind think clearly. And I sleep very badly with someone else in the bed. So I've been going between here and mum's and sleeping badly at both.

I had been happy with the "single for life" thing and it's been like a domino effect. I couldn't cope looking after my mum - > so when a very sweet sexy young guy decided he wanted to look after me, I thought "how bad can it be?" And we've had some lovely times and he's coped well with a lot of tears and angst on my part -> which in turn I think has put him under strain

And now he is terribly hurt, though I hope he will mend quickly.

All this because I didn't focus on myself. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Now I'm weeping and I don't even know why

Just realised tears might be last night's diazepam wearing off

Oh no, everyone's vanished

hope everyone's okay

Thank you

how are you feeling?

I took a beta blocker last night - doc prefers them to diazepam, which I will run out of soon.

my body doesn't like them, I just felt shattered as soon as I got up. I went for a walk as I heard it would rain later, but felt my limbs dragging.

i'm looking forward to being able to sleep without pills. I'm looking at local exercise classes. I'm another who won't try mirtpazine because of the weight gain problem - doctor suggested it with great reluctance as I'm very fat already, I said no anyway.

I did think about seeing mum this weekend but I don't think I'm ready.