Recovering from breakdown

[EmmaEmerald]

Does anyone have any experience of this?
I thought I'd had a nervous breakdown in my 20s but carried on working. This time I'm knocked out. I got up at 8 and need a nap already!

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Getting a period early might be stress related.

I think I'm going to have a nap....grr. Want to get on with stuff.

@TheBuggerlugs sorry to hear your struggling. I've been in my mental whatever it is since February. Very anxious, very teary, very tired. Not sure whether to keep myself busy, not that I have the motivation really or take it easy like you would for a physical illness. Got a doctors appointment next week because I'm 45 now so wondering about hormones.

Buggerlugs "I so tired of feeling like this. Every day feels like a battle / lots of effort"

I know we're a bunch of strangers online but can we help in any way? Even if it's YouTube clips xx

I believe I had a nervous breakdown 4 years ago- I already had anxiety, which just mounted and then add in some work stress and a health issue, and I just fell apart. I felt like I was going mad, panic feeling all day long until I got to the point of exhaustion. Spent several weeks mostly in bed and unable to leave the house as I felt so ‘out of it’, couldn’t focus on anything and was overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks (showering / brushing teeth). I just couldn’t function. Incredibly horrible time. I started CBT therapy and working through self-help materials too and started on my healing journey. It was 3 months before I was able to physically go into the office, and even then I was rather ‘wobbly’.

For me to heal, I had to go back to where my anxiety originated from - that actually made me feel worse initially, but I’ve had to unearth it all and lay it bare. I’m still picking up the pieces 4 years later, so it’s been a long road to recovery, but it was probably only around 5-6 months after I was at my lowest, to feeling half way normal, with more energy, motivation, drive and happiness. I’ve had a few blips over the years, but each time I learn something new and strangely I’m thankful for this experience - it’s teaching me a lot.

rest is important, but so is a recovery plan. Do you have a therapist you can approach? A support group? If that’s not an option, I recommend delving into the world of self-help, such as Dr Gabor Mate and Dennis Simseck. They have a lot of resources to help get you started.

it’s a horrible horrible feeling, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but keep going and you’ll get there in the end x

Yes! I felt it coming on and was proactive whilst my breakdown was happening. Fuck knows how I did it. I got back on SSRIs, committed to a psychotherapist (my first appointment isn't until september), asked for the GPS counseling team (first appointment yesterday) and self referred to talktherapy the local health care service.

Been on anti depressants for 2 weeks now, I do need to up my dose but try to remember to be kind to myself.

If I achieve something in a day (put the washing away) I give myself a big well done.

I've been too hard on myself for too long.

One foot in front of the other, you will get there, try and achieve 1 thing an hour, no matter how small x

In good news, I really fancy some crisps but in this state, I'm too tired to go out and get them!

AnxiousAcademic no, I don't have a plan apart from starting new meds soon. I think two weeks of those and I'll see where I am, try to plan.

It's been a month but tbh it's gone by oddly quick, including getting worse. Weird.

1ittlegreen that's great that you spotted it, I feel like mine came a bit out of the blue, though with the benefit of hindsight, that's not true at all.

Music got me through mine. I think I've been through three actual breakdowns. It starts off as anxiety & got worse & worse. I think it was the fact it went on so long with no let up that caused me to have an actual break down. I felt it, i walked home after dropping my daughter to school. I wasnt working that day. As i got to the alley towards my house everything went in slow motion & i felt a crack in me. Thats the only way i can explain it. A physical crack inside of my body & everything slowed down. I got in & i poured myself a glass of wine at 9am.

I took every antidepressant there was. All SSRIs make me even more mental i will never touch sertraline again. Mirtazipine is the only thing that helped me but you gain weight on it.

At work i started to ask for music to be put on & i zoned out, still doing what i needed to do but it really helped. Ben bohmer is good. It just calms you down.

I stopped all obligations & only committed to what i could take on. I cut work down to 3 days a week and sleep is so important. I spent literally 18 months not being able to sleep. Thats the good thing about Mirtazipine it knocks you the F out lol.

Yoga is apart of my daily life now. I have to, its not a leisure activity its medicine & really so is music. I have my headphones on all of the time.

You need to remember your only good to anyone if you are well. The rest can wait. Kids money husband job, it all falls to shit if your not around. I think as mums we prioritise everyone else but our selves. We see it as selfish for putting our selves first. Im telling you that you absolutely HAVE to put your self first.
My kids had to watch me fall apart & i think it would have been far better if i was a little selfish & took time out for myself so that didn't happen. Put some ben bohmer on & have an hour to your self daily. Laugh & love your self xx

@Lucy202 in what way were you affected by sertraline ?

@AnxiousAcademic as well as all the self help things did you also take medication ?

Yes to what you've written @Lucy202 .

Lucy, I find music crucial to wellbeing too, thank you for the recommendation.

Lucy "You need to remember your only good to anyone if you are well"
please don't take offence, I got cross (internally) with a neighbour who said this to me.

just note for other childfree posters - I'm not a mum, thank goodness. It's caring my mum that's done this to me. So, I think, I'm unwell, doesn't matter how it impacts anyone else and that's fine. I'm the one that has career needs, financial wants etc.

mum is back from the care home and I have no idea what care arrangements are in place. It's great!

It made me so crazy. Mentally my anxiety got a million times worse to the point looking back on it i should have been in hospital at points. Physically i am left with permanent tinnitus. Temporary sweating and everything sounded so loud. The sound of my nails against the pillow would keep me awake like nails on a drawing board. I had a 'twitch' in my neck. No one else would notice it. Couldnt sleep. I was wide awake night after night. I couldnt speak properly because my mouth was that dry. Racing thoughts. I would never touch sertraline again.

Im sorry i didnt mean to offend, that was presumptuous of me. X

@kizziee no I couldn’t face medication. I was really not able to function at all and was overwhelmed by discussions with the doctor & practice nurse about medication. I decided I’d try CBT therapy first and self-help small steps to get myself in a better place to face the medication - I was mostly anxious about side effects of worsened anxiety…..I just couldn’t cope with it getting any worse, even temporally.

However, once the small steps started to help and I started to get into a better place mentally, I realised that it’s possible to heal without medication - something my therapist gave me confidence in too. Maybe my recovery would have been quicker with medication, but the side effects made me too anxious to ever try them. I’d never say never though.

Oh I'm not offended

just want to be sure everyone feels welcome and also, I think it's key to want to recover for yourself, you know?

Thank you @Lucy202 & @AnxiousAcademic

Totally. That was the point i was trying to make with it. Which stands even of you don't have children. We all tend to forget our selves. I found it difficult putting myself first over work. I was having to call my job frantic like i felt like i owed them something wrapped with guilt. Putting my job over my own sanity. But the point of what i was trying to make was we have to put our selves first no matter what other obligations we have & thats okay. I think so many of us have a hard time doing that weather its children a job loved ones even the dog. Its okay to drop the ball because if you dont it will be dropped anyway. As much as we all want to be we are not super heros & we cant carry everything. Thats all my point was. For me i definitely felt guilty. I apologised to everyone daily & looking back i dont know what i was apologising for. I wasnt well & that was ok xx

I think a key part of what happened to me was, after putting myself first all my life, I prioritised someone else and boy, that has damaged me.

Speaking of which, I'm embarrassed to say this, but I was up half the night dealing with my (half my age) boyfriend having an anxiety attack.

I'm not used to dating and have found being in a relationship incredibly hard. I think I've got to end it. He is loving and supportive but I'm still better off alone.

I tried to stop it in its tracks - its been a bit of a runaway train - on account of my age before, but now I just think...I don't want to do this anymore.

It's bad timing because something unpleasant has happened to set him off so I'm trying to figure out how to let him down easy.

I can't say I'm surprised. The day after my breakdown, I told a couple of friends that deep down I feel it's been a knock on effect. I couldn't cope looking after mum so someone wanting to look after me seemed appealing.

Maybe I should run workshops in "being self centred" 😂

Hi everyone- hope everyone is having a good day today. I was starting to feel a bit better Sunday and Monday but slowly have felt myself slipping again from Tuesday and today I have wound myself up through worrying. Has anyone had the same? Feel you’re getting there and then bam it comes back and hits you again?

Sorry to hear that
yes I had that. Two GPs have said to me to expect ups and downs. I'm sorry, the downs are really shit. Is there anything we can do for you here?

If it helps, Monday I felt like I wouldn't be able to leave the flat in any circumstances. Today I've just run four small errands in the high street. I was lucky they went smoothly but I am much better today. So tomorrow you might feel lots better, I hope so. Hugs if you want them.

someone upthread mentioned mentioned keeping a journal of the up and down days, I wasn't in a fit state but I might be now.

I am finding this thread so helpful, I hope others are too.

I'm currently changing meds after another suicidal episode and reading this thread has helped so much. So much madness and anxiety out there that people don't normally really talk about.xx thankyou all for your honesty

GreedyBilly Sorry to hear of your problems. How's new meds going?

Well I'm only on day 4 been pretty grim and im completely spaced out, emotional and feel weird but im hoping it's worth it as current meds have stopped working.

I sympathise
med switching is really tough but I don't think mine are working either, hence going to be changing soon - have been asked to do a washout period first.

Seems like a good place to ask

Would you be alarmed if you heard someone having a panic attack and saying "don't let the demons out"?