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Original poster

To ask for a suitable punishment for my children

191 replies

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 19:33

Most nights we take our youngest and our dog for a walk.
Never occurred to me to lock the back door (don't come for me, I know I know)

Just found out that my two children aged 5 and 6 have been opening our side gate and helping themselves to chocolate, money, juice anything pretty much

I'm so pissed off I don't know how to calm down

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:20

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:19

Why did you get so very angry about your young children sneaking a few treats?

There's something else going on. What is it?

Yes, there's a lot to unpick here.

Hufflepods · 09/08/2023 20:20

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:12

🤣🤣🤣 just because I don't live in England? Ok

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You seem more concerned about meaningless comments on this thread than that fact that your very young child thinks it is perfectly acceptable to steal money from a school setting.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:21

OP, I think you need a bit of help here.
What's your partner like?

Original poster
Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:22

I need more than help. I need serious professional help.
I've been suicidal to my children's behavior but it's like shouting into the wind. Nobody ever helps
And I don't mean to be angry with my children but in general I'm such an angry person. Depression has crippled me. I don't recognize myself anymore

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:23

Ok. You need to contact your GP.
Can your partner help? Do you have family?

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:23

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:22

I need more than help. I need serious professional help.
I've been suicidal to my children's behavior but it's like shouting into the wind. Nobody ever helps
And I don't mean to be angry with my children but in general I'm such an angry person. Depression has crippled me. I don't recognize myself anymore

What behaviour? What do they do that is so terrible it makes you contemplate suicide?

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 09/08/2023 20:23

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:22

I need more than help. I need serious professional help.
I've been suicidal to my children's behavior but it's like shouting into the wind. Nobody ever helps
And I don't mean to be angry with my children but in general I'm such an angry person. Depression has crippled me. I don't recognize myself anymore

That’s because you need to put the work and the effort in yourself. You have to do the heavy lifting, not rely on someone else to fix it for you.

Only you can get yourself better.

Original poster
Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:25

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:23

What behaviour? What do they do that is so terrible it makes you contemplate suicide?

Show quote history

Stealing, lying, my 5 year old hits me when she has her tantrums, she'll kick me spit on me.
They steal from neighbours, their school
Or they'll break things without a care in the world
My mood is low anyway but when they act up I just think what is the point in being alive

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:25

If your mental health is so bad, please contact your GP, or is there someone who can help?
5 and 6 year olds shouldn't be so badly behaved that it's seriously impacting you like this.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:26

So they're stealing from neighbours as well as the school?
When did this start?

TheaPrentice · 09/08/2023 20:27

OP, your words were - 'I'm so pissed off, I don't know how to calm down...' About your own very young kids taking food from their own house, having been basically left (unwatched) in someone else's garden.

You should be thankful they haven't come into danger or worse..

Then, when people tell you YABU, you drop in that one if your kids has stolen some money at school. In a very flat, detached tone as if you want everyone to 'punish' a small child.

The whole 'punish' theme if the thread is off.

You also say you would give your dog away we're it not for your DP.

You sound either very depressed or just not very nice. If it's the former, are you getting help?

Crossstich · 09/08/2023 20:28

lot of primary schools have tuck shops. Bagels for 20p, toast for 15p it's very normal.
Usually manned by 12 year Olds, so small pots of cash will be left.
Are you in England?. That doesn't happen at any primary schools near us. The younger children have snacks provided by the school and the older ones take their own snacks there aren't any tuck snacks manned by older children.

rainbowunicorn · 09/08/2023 20:29

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:10

You're not in the UK, obviously. 12 year olds are in yr7.
Where do you live?

You do know what UK stands for I take it? Its not just England. The other countries of the UK have different school systems.

Chickenkeev · 09/08/2023 20:29

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:25

Stealing, lying, my 5 year old hits me when she has her tantrums, she'll kick me spit on me.
They steal from neighbours, their school
Or they'll break things without a care in the world
My mood is low anyway but when they act up I just think what is the point in being alive

Show quote history

Are there any other things going on for you besides the kids that are making you feel so low? Your kids behaviour needs to be addressed but you urgently need to look at your own MH before you can do that. Or at least both in tandem.

Chickenkeev · 09/08/2023 20:30

Chickenkeev · 09/08/2023 20:29

Are there any other things going on for you besides the kids that are making you feel so low? Your kids behaviour needs to be addressed but you urgently need to look at your own MH before you can do that. Or at least both in tandem.

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And forgot to say, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:31

rainbowunicorn · 09/08/2023 20:29

You do know what UK stands for I take it? Its not just England. The other countries of the UK have different school systems.

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Yes yes that was all sorted upthread and was replied to

rainbowunicorn · 09/08/2023 20:31

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 09/08/2023 20:09

No they’re not.

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Different countries have different school systems. Just because it isn't like that in England doesn't mean its not true.

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:32

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:25

Stealing, lying, my 5 year old hits me when she has her tantrums, she'll kick me spit on me.
They steal from neighbours, their school
Or they'll break things without a care in the world
My mood is low anyway but when they act up I just think what is the point in being alive

Show quote history

Stealing what? How?

Where are they learning this from?

I'm sorry you're having such a terrible time but I just don't think the children are the problem. They're a symptom, not the cause.

namechangedtoday2023 · 09/08/2023 20:32

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Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:33

The whole UK thing was clarified upthread.
It's not the point now - she's suicidal because of her children's behaviour.
It was a drip feed, but we're at the heart of it now.
Is there someone who can help you?

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:34

Is your partner any help?

namechangedtoday2023 · 09/08/2023 20:34

Stealing, lying, my 5 year old hits me when she has her tantrums, she'll kick me spit on me.
They steal from neighbours, their school
Or they'll break things without a care in the world
My mood is low anyway but when they act up I just think what is the point in being alive

Get help for yourself, and then you will be able to help your children. This cannot carry on. For you, or for them. They are craving your attention. Or craving something.

pamplemoussemousse · 09/08/2023 20:35

This isn't about you taking the dog for a walk and leaving them in the neighbour's "care" this is about them feeling at the age of 5 and 6 that they need to fend for themselves. Are they taking money to save in case you don't come back and they need to survive?

Why are you and your partner not prioritising your children and their need for care above a dog? Why can't you take it in turns to walk the dog or take the kids with you on the walk if them taking food from their own house is such an issue for you? A neighbour is fine to keep an eye on your kids if they're all playing together but it's not up to them to feed or water them daily, nor look after them constantly.

As an aside, what help have you sought because I actually think social services would be a good start, given your recent posts about your mental health. They can help you.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:36

Yes, I agree - social services.
Plus, has the school been any help?