Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To ask for a suitable punishment for my children

191 replies

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 19:33

Most nights we take our youngest and our dog for a walk.
Never occurred to me to lock the back door (don't come for me, I know I know)

Just found out that my two children aged 5 and 6 have been opening our side gate and helping themselves to chocolate, money, juice anything pretty much

I'm so pissed off I don't know how to calm down

OP posts:
Jojobees · 09/08/2023 20:10

12 year olds absolutely are not in primary. Sept birthdays will be 12 weeks after they start year 7 and august birthdays will be 12 weeks before starting year 8.
Oldest child in primary will be 11.

Blondebutnotlegally · 09/08/2023 20:10

GreenWheat · 09/08/2023 20:07

Indeed. Before it was an infant school, now it's a primary school with Year 7 or 8 in it!

Some schools in the south have primary up until year 7 and high school from year 8. What enjoyment are you getting from picking it apart?

MrsSamR · 09/08/2023 20:11

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 09/08/2023 20:09

No they’re not.

My birthday is at the beginning of September and I turned 12 my first week at secondary school. It would literally be impossible to be older for your school year than that.

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:11

Jojobees · 09/08/2023 20:10

12 year olds absolutely are not in primary. Sept birthdays will be 12 weeks after they start year 7 and august birthdays will be 12 weeks before starting year 8.
Oldest child in primary will be 11.

I'm not in england

OP posts:
Hufflepods · 09/08/2023 20:11

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:08

Yes they are. Depending on their birthday
Do you really have to nit pick

Just pointing out the multiple massive holes in this story. Keep going.

ZoeCM · 09/08/2023 20:11

Irridescantshimmmer · 09/08/2023 20:07

Stop chocolate and treats for quite a long time and explain to your 5 and 6 year old they will go without for a length of time, you decide how long as a consequence of their actions.

Its best to wait until you are feeling settled and calm before you speak to your kids, mostly so you don't go ballistic and regret it afterwards. Obviously, the choice is yours and I totally understand why you are furious.

You can chose not to buy any treats and if you make sure the kids don't have any they are more likely to remember their mistake and the consequences that followed.

I think the length of time should be long enough to get the message across that they will have to wait a long time before getting chocolate and treats again as a consequence for their miss behaviour. Then they won't be in a rush to make the same mistake again.

You may also stop them from helping themselves to food but set a rule they must always ask permission first.

Hope this helps.

Why would anyone go ballistic at kids that age for sneaking treats, unless they have severe anger issues? Insane.

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:11

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:10

You're not in the UK, obviously. 12 year olds are in yr7.
Where do you live?

Not England. There's more than just England in the UK

OP posts:
Thoughtful2355 · 09/08/2023 20:11

sorry a 5 and 6 year old is helping themselves to snacks? not sure why that needs to be punished :S Fair enough have a conversation about not doing it but they are very young children and wanting a few snacks is surely ok???

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:12

Hufflepods · 09/08/2023 20:11

Just pointing out the multiple massive holes in this story. Keep going.

🤣🤣🤣 just because I don't live in England? Ok

OP posts:
Thoughtful2355 · 09/08/2023 20:13

also start locking the door or start a ask first rule

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:13

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:11

Not England. There's more than just England in the UK

Ok. Obviously none of us knew that. Are you Scottish?.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:13

Thoughtful2355 · 09/08/2023 20:13

also start locking the door or start a ask first rule

Or look after the kids....

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:13

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:13

Ok. Obviously none of us knew that. Are you Scottish?.

You didn't need to assume. You all just assumed I was making it up. How lovely.

OP posts:
capresesalad · 09/08/2023 20:14

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:10

You're not in the UK, obviously. 12 year olds are in yr7.
Where do you live?

Not that there aren't other strange things about the OPs thread but this shows your England centric view of the UK. In Scotland half the year group of Primary 7s will be 12. If you mean England just say England

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:14

ZoeCM · 09/08/2023 20:11

Why would anyone go ballistic at kids that age for sneaking treats, unless they have severe anger issues? Insane.

There are so, so many parents who just do not get that parenting is symbiotic and their behaviour will influence their kids' behaviour. Instead they do whatever they like, and then just punish the kids for picking up that same behaviour...often with an authoritarian "because I said so" or "for as long as I decide", as per the very bad suggestion by a PP.

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:14

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:13

Or look after the kids....

Again. They were at a neighbours. Supposed to have been looked after.
All kids play out together here, it's very normal. But I won't be making that choice again

OP posts:
BansheeofInisherin · 09/08/2023 20:15

Gosh this thread is hard work.

Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:16

capresesalad · 09/08/2023 20:14

Not that there aren't other strange things about the OPs thread but this shows your England centric view of the UK. In Scotland half the year group of Primary 7s will be 12. If you mean England just say England

Ok, just going on my own experience. I was guessing that the OP was Scottish anyway.

Anotherchristianmama · 09/08/2023 20:16

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:14

Again. They were at a neighbours. Supposed to have been looked after.
All kids play out together here, it's very normal. But I won't be making that choice again

Why aren't you talking to the neighbour about letting your small children wander off?

GreenWheat · 09/08/2023 20:16

Blondebutnotlegally · 09/08/2023 20:10

Some schools in the south have primary up until year 7 and high school from year 8. What enjoyment are you getting from picking it apart?

Because the OP is being deliberately obtuse.

TheaPrentice · 09/08/2023 20:17

OP, I have to tell you that you come across as hating your kids as well as your dog. Poor kids and poor dog.

Why are your children needing to steal hits and pieces from school and from home (if you can call it that)? Don't you give them anything?

Workquestion11 · 09/08/2023 20:18

TheaPrentice · 09/08/2023 20:17

OP, I have to tell you that you come across as hating your kids as well as your dog. Poor kids and poor dog.

Why are your children needing to steal hits and pieces from school and from home (if you can call it that)? Don't you give them anything?

No I don't
They are left by themselves all the time and I never do a thing for any of them

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/08/2023 20:18

Ok. So you're in Scotland where they have tuck shops in schools still and cash lying around which yours have stolen. Has this been dealt with, or are there still problems with theft from school, as far as you know?

Crossstich · 09/08/2023 20:18

I don't think they should have any punishment. They are very young children left in your neighbours garden obviously unsupervised. They probably thought they weren't doing anything wrong going into their own house to get something to eat. I don't understand about the money though or what use that would be to a 5 year old.
I don't understand why you are so angry with your children either.

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2023 20:19

Why did you get so very angry about your young children sneaking a few treats?

There's something else going on. What is it?