In despair daughters graduation

[RedLister]

I recently posted about my controlling husband and how I keep letting my daughter down because of him.
She is 23 and about to graduate from university. She wants all our family there, me, my parents and my sister plus my nephew
my husband has no family and he can’t go due to health issues. The problem is he won’t like everyone else going when he can’t
He says it looks bad on him if everyone else is there and that everyone is enjoying themselves and he is stuck at home.
He will not want this to happen but how can I tell her or them and I am scared to tell him as scared of his reaction
I don’t want S to think badly of her dad but this seems like an impossible situation for me
I feel like I can’t please everyone and don’t know what to do anymore

If he says you’re putting everyone before him, I’d just reply that you’re putting your daughter before him. Which is completely fucking normal. And you don’t stay with an abuser because ‘they couldn’t cope on their own’. Why’s it your responsibility?

Grow a back bone and stop letting this arse rule your life . It would be shocking if you and her family didn't attend and something she may never forgive you for . All the other graduates will have family there so don't leave her out .

OP, having read your other post I am so sad and worried for you. Please, please, please leave this horrible abusive man. You are worth so much more and so is your daughter. Go before he destroys you completely. Please speak to Women’s Aid, talk to your sister, ask to stay with a friend- just get out. And when you do go, don’t listen to his angry words, rages and rants - block his number and call the police. You deserve to be free of him and to live the rest of your life without that feeling of dread and having to I worry that any small thing you do will sent him off. Imagine your dd was with someone like this? You would you tell her to walk out - you need to leave him! Go to the police, go to a refuge just don’t go back