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Original poster

I don't want to go for a fucking walk...

113 replies

Meltinthemiddle · 09/04/2023 15:07

because I have no motivation to get dressed or to see people and put on a fake smile and make polite conversation with strangers about the weather or even worse I don't want to bump into someone I know when I look and feel like shit and will mean using even more energy I don't have to pretend I am ok. Why is it people always suggest go for a walk as it will make you feel better, like this is the answer to everything. I am so tired of the pressures of life and pretending and trying to follow society's expectations of what makes a perfect family life. I feel like we are all sheep and being herded to one thing on to another normally involving huge expense and stres.
I've just broke down with DH after burning the waffles and he asked me what was wrong I told him I'm struggling (I'm peri and on HRT) but no asking why or what is making me feel like that. His response 'let's go for a walk?' But the reality is I don't want to because what's the point of walking somewhere or getting an over priced coffee that I don't want after waiting in a massive queue. Why do we all do things because that's what we do at Easter, go for family walks and have the perfect roast dinner (which I've forgotten most of and shops now closed) and eat chocolate watching films. But why? It doesn't make me happy it's just what we are supposed to do but when I stop and think about it I realise it doesn't actually bring me joy or at least it doesn't any more. So now DH has gone off in a mood to walk the dog again leaving me feel worse. I don't know what I want or what I was expecting but sometimes I just think what's the point.

OP posts:
hattie43 · 09/04/2023 15:16

Walking and nature have been recognised as mood enhancers .

SurelyNot22 · 09/04/2023 15:21

You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Is there anything you'd like to do instead?

RightOnTheEdge · 09/04/2023 15:24

You don't have to do anything you don't want to but my sister has had massive MH problems and going for long walks with her dogs has really helped her so I don't think it was a terrible suggestion from your dh.

SpecialMangeTout · 09/04/2023 15:29

hattie43 · 09/04/2023 15:16

Walking and nature have been recognised as mood enhancers .

And sometimes it’s the worst thing you can do….

Vallmo47 · 09/04/2023 15:30

When your mental health is suffering, anything seems like an enormous uphill climb. Don’t be too hard on yourself Op, but equally do try to join in sometimes to get the balance right. Often when I don’t want to do something it’s more the idea that repulses me than actually doing it. It’s important to remember that a low mood inside can often be improved by getting out in fresh air for a bit. When my kids act up inside we go for a wander outside and vice versa. Exercise does help with your health, that’s proven … both physical and mental. Since I started lane swimming my mental health has improved loads, too. Good luck.

Nottodayicant · 09/04/2023 15:30

I bloody HATE it when my anxiety is high and people suggest going for a walk like it is a lightbulb moment answer to my prayers.

NO THANKS! I do not want to see people, smile at people, look at people, nod at people and worst of all stop and talk to the fuckwit neighbours. I don't want interaction and wandering aimlessly around the place while suffering with anxiety. It will do the absolute OPPOSITE to me and make me worse. My OH does not even ask me anymore. The answer will always be no.

I hear you OP.

Tidsleytiddy · 09/04/2023 15:30

Have you spoken to your doctor about antidepressants?

Bababear987 · 09/04/2023 15:30

Dont do it because you think you should or because someone else is making you do it because it's good for you.

Getting outside in fresh air and going for a walk will boost your mood and honestly you do sound quite depressed. Although u do agree with you about all the societal pressures being too much sometimes

notsosoftanymore · 09/04/2023 15:31

OP I sometimes /quite often feel like you do but I notice that being outside in the air, maybe walking somewhere green can make me feel better.

Really though, isn't it like when kids say they're bored and parental camps split into frantic entertainment vs saying it's good for them to experience boredom and find out what they really want to do.

Indulge yourself and enjoy, try writing a monologue just for yourself about how it feels and see where it goes. You know, like the Artist Pages, write three pages without stopping. You don't actually have to do anything you don't want to do. 😋

SpecialMangeTout · 09/04/2023 15:32

I’m going to guess that would have helped is your DH making feel seen, like he cared about the why rather than proposing a walk.

Because the walk isn’t going to solve the fact you are feeling overwhelmed. It didn’t help you feel seen by your DH, like he cared. It’s more like a plaster to out on the top of the problem so you can ignore it a bit longer….

Elmo230885 · 09/04/2023 15:35

What would make you happy?
You are obviously frustrated and dont want to do the 'expected'.
Just because it's Easter you don't have to cook a roast, sack it off and have beans on toast. If you don't want to watch films and eat chocolate then don't, wrap up and do some gardening, go listen to music in the bath or put some music on and do some crafts. Sit in your pjs with a G&T if it makes you happy!

SpecialMangeTout · 09/04/2023 15:35

It’s funny how people are coming on the thread to tell the OP she is wrong and she should just go fur a walk because THEY feel better afterwards.

Despite the OP explaining clearly why she doesn’t want to go for a walk and it doesn’t work for her. Like they actually didn’t listen to the OP….

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/04/2023 15:36

Well fine, don’t go.

but you were miserable before and now you’re more miserable. If you’d gone for the walk you would be no more worse off than you are now and you might have been better off so, on balance, I think you would have been better going for the walk.

jackstini · 09/04/2023 15:37

Sorry you are feeling so crap OP

You shouldn't do anything that you really don't want to do, but I get why your DH suggested it.
Mine often does this when he knows I just need to remove myself from a situation (usually when I'm about to throw my laptop out if the window wfh...)

What would you like to do? What would help?

Other things I do are:
Go for a drive on my own
Binge watch numpty tv
Go in a hot bath for an hour with wine and nibbles - door locked
Read
Pray
Call or go round to a trusted friend and rant my arse off

Would talking to the docs or counselling help?

Turnipworkharder · 09/04/2023 15:37

For you OP 💐

Rollerpiggy · 09/04/2023 15:39

It’s sounding as if you don’t know what you want to do, but you’re angry as hell that your DH is suggesting things. I doubt anything he says will help you.
I feel for you OP, it’s a no win situation for everyone here.

HappyHolidai · 09/04/2023 15:41

I hear you!! Nothing seems to make anything better when I feel like this.

Walks do help me, actually, but I go on my own and don't talk to anyone! I potter along and admire the flowers while listening to the birds. But I can't do this currently due to post-Covid fatigue and everything anyone suggests is wrong and annoying and upsetting.

I find I feel better if I force myself to park the misery for a while and concentrate on something. Anything really! Good book, tv, cats... Well-meaning people trying to help is definitely NOT on the list of things that make me feel better. Then of course I get upset that no one cares... What a mess.

furryfrontbottom · 09/04/2023 15:42

It's not a magic cure-all, but exercise does help and so does getting away from the place where you are experiencing the most stress.

BeeCucumber · 09/04/2023 15:42

What would make you happy OP?

BartsLongLostBro · 09/04/2023 15:43

Hope you feel better soon. Crap feeling like that. Nothing anyone says is really that helpfull, is it? Can you tell your DH what you need/ want?

Oblomov23 · 09/04/2023 15:43

Make an appointment with your GP to discuss AD's.

FictionalCharacter · 09/04/2023 15:44

SpecialMangeTout · 09/04/2023 15:35

It’s funny how people are coming on the thread to tell the OP she is wrong and she should just go fur a walk because THEY feel better afterwards.

Despite the OP explaining clearly why she doesn’t want to go for a walk and it doesn’t work for her. Like they actually didn’t listen to the OP….

Yep. And not being listened to and understood is going to make the OP feel even worse.

I get it @Meltinthemiddle . I can’t stand an aimless walk round local streets either, it certainly doesn’t improve my mood.

JoanJettsMullet · 09/04/2023 15:45

I feel you OP. I get the same and every time I agree (against my own will), i hate every second of the walk, feel angry at the person who suggested it, at myself for agreeing to do something I know I wouldn’t enjoy and then I come home feeling even worse.

PaigeMatthews · 09/04/2023 15:46

What are you doing about your mental health? What are your methods that work for you?

what are you doing for your physical health? The two are linked.

Nottodayicant · 09/04/2023 15:46

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/04/2023 15:36

Well fine, don’t go.

but you were miserable before and now you’re more miserable. If you’d gone for the walk you would be no more worse off than you are now and you might have been better off so, on balance, I think you would have been better going for the walk.

Have you not listened?? SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE GOING FOR WALKS AND METTING PEOPLE WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE SHIT.
She may feel a million times worse when she comes back, I know I would if I had to meet someone and talk to them with a fake smile on my face.
Shit like this makes me so mad. People are different and what works for one does not work for another.