I have no idea why I’m posting this really.
I don’t want to be here.
Really. Truly. Desperately.
I just cannot kill myself because I have 2 teenagers that need me.
I am so certain that I am not enough for them though and that hurts so much as I love them with every atom of me. They are the reason I have stuck around.
I can’t sleep properly, I can’t eat properly. That’s a good thing as I’m a fat mess anyway. I’m thinking perhaps I take this route and eventually it will kill me. It will take a while but I could get there.
Please do not suggest I am depressed, I know I am. I am past depressed though, just done.
I have already seeked mental health support.
I have already called the Samaritans.
Nobody would know it from the outside. Or maybe they would, I don’t even know anymore.
It just is.