As the title says I'm hanging on by a very frayed thin thread.
I don't know if it's hormonal or depression or if they're feeding each other, but something needs to happen. Because I have now accepted that I'm probably going to end up 6ft under and it no longer scares or upsets me. I have absolutely no intention now, I'm safe, I have the crisis number, and my dog, I just need to talk as I haven't got anyone in RL to talk to.
I have always had really bad PMT, and I started taking the progesterone pill about 4/5 months ago, however the only emotion I feel now is anger, I'm literally a shell of the person I was 10 years ago.
I believe I'm peri menopausal, I get hot flushes, sweating, insomnia, dry fanny, low mood, I've not had a sex drive in years, I'm probably a virgin again by now, the thought of sex gives me the ick. However I'm 37, so I just get told I'm too young. My DM started early, maybe it runs in the family.
I take Duloxetine as several ADs have failed, I want to try venlafaxine, as its supposedly shown good results for menopausal womens symptoms.
I don't expect miracles, and I have a Dr's appointment on Tuesday so I can discuss it with him, I'm just terrified of being dismissed or put in a hospital.
I'm also as a side note getting sick to the back teeth of seeing and being told that I'm strong, or that I'll get through it, or that there's better things around the corner, it's probably just me being a mardy cow but it gets right on my tits.