I’ve just made a massive twat of my self at the doctors surgery

[WhatDoWeDo2023]

I’m exhausted
massive panic attack, drove myself to the doctor and collapsed in the waiting room

i think cried massive sobbing tears in the pharmacy, the poor lady cuddled me which made it worse as I’ve not showered in days
i have diazipam and I’m curled up on the sofa with my dog

god knows who saw it all, dreading leaving the house ever again in our small village.

Yes, yes, this is what happened
I needed a safe space and as I explained over a lovely lunch to my lovely DH, there was no point presenting myself to our local A&E as they don’t know me, and I don’t feel, from my past experiences they would truly be able to support acute care there and then.

ive had the same surgery and reception staff for the past 18 years. We all nod and say hello about town - nothing more than that

i just thought, they know this isn’t me but this is where I’m at right now and I need help. The hand holds and the hugs felt so precious and let it release into a collapsed state
so kind

@Noelfieldingsjumpers thank you, are you in a better place for now?

it’s such a shame I feel the need to hide all of this, there are so many feeling the same.

Positive and quiet day today
day 2 of hrt gel and same meds diff dose

i have our telephone mediation with the court tomorrow morning
www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/4360275-I-fostered-an-elderly-rescue-dog-and-the-rescue-have-sent-me-a-3k-county-court-form?page=2&reply=115960354 link if anyone is bored enough to read up on it

im prepared and ready but I know I won’t sleep tonight

What was the talk guide break please? I’d really rather know than worry?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/4360275-I-fostered-an-elderly-rescue-dog-and-the-rescue-have-sent-me-a-3k-county-court-form?page=1

try again

As always.
I have a very big day tomorrow
am I focusing on the deleted? Yes, what was it? Someone must be brave enough to say
im well and doing good
I have a big day tomorrow

It was probably just spam rather than anything nasty judging by the username and time it was posted

Thank you so much
i don’t think I’m doing anything wrong?

Hi @WhatDoWeDo2023

the deleted post was a spammer posting a dodgy helpline link - they were spamming multiple threads across the mental health boards, not just your thread.
Hope you’re okay

You're not a twat OP, you're unwell and need treatment and care, just as someone with any other illness does. I hope you are getting or will get proper MH support in time so you can get back to your life and your children.

@NiteWotcha I’ll sleep now so thank you

I have our case tomorrow
I really won’t sleep
thank you for letting me know

Good luck for tomorrow-I read your other post and it is outrageous what they are putting you through.

I turned up in a state at the doctors a few weeks ago.

Also, and just to make you laugh, a few years ago I was at my local Asda pharmacy where I was a regular. They had fucked up my son's prescription and it was the third visit to try and sort it out.

I was so frustrated that I just let out a low level cry and head butted the counter.

Beat that!

Ha ha. That’s an image to keep in mind to raise a smile!
Thank you!

I’m planning on a very early night tonight as I woke at 5.30 and couldn’t get back to sleep.
Another major stress free from my shoulders today as a small claims court case against me was resolved.

day 3 of new meds and hrt, no side effects so far and I think, because I’m acutely aware of how unwell I felt it’s helping me to stay focused on me.

I’m working through the recommended app and book, they are really helping me fall asleep.

im so tired but I really want to watch googlebox

I’m awake and drinking tea
i have had a big blip though

I’ve read things I didn’t want to read, those people are disgusting

ive smashed a phone up cause I couldn’t read anymore, it’s too late now to sleep and I want to remember what’s happened tonight and more importantly, why it happened.

its ok, I wish I could just find my headphones
but I can’t

I’m having a set back
i really want to go
the panic isn’t great

im going to stay here

fuck sake, this isn’t fair, it just needs to stop and leave me alone

Hi, I'm here, ready to listen. You're doing really, really well, this is just a blip.

It's the middle of the night which always makes things seem much worse.

Let me know if you need to offload

@Mumblechum0
thanks, you are right
I’m a bit worried about the smashed phone but it’s done now and I’ve hidden it
oops

I’m so awake, it’s not even amusing, thankfully I’m off work tomorrow but still have a school run to do
im going to poo down and make another cup of tea

will say, I am staying at home and I’m not leaving the house or doing anything embarrassing
im so cross and uptight right now

Don't worry about the phone, it doesn't matter. You didn't hurt yourself or anybody else.

I'm just finishing some herbal tea and will try to get to sleep. There's something about Sunday nights in particular which always makes it hard to sleep, maybe a hangover from school days or something.

You just need to try not to put too much pressure on yourself, you have a lot on and are clearly a wonderfully supportive mum, but it's ok to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Go and snuggle your lovely dh, go to sleep and everything will feel better tomorrow x

Sleep tight, I have such a migraine, I wonder if it’s the HRT gel
ive made a comfy spot on the recliner in front of the tv and thankfully I’ve not woken anyone else up even by making a cup of tea.

Morning OP, I hope you managed to get some sleep and that you have a better day today.