So I've been in the worst depression of my life since September. It reached crisis point last Wednesday and I felt suicidal. I spent most of the day trying to get referred to the local crisis team as I thought they were supposed to help with this.
I didn't get anywhere despite about 10 phone calls to the GP and perinatal.
I made a plan to end my life and started trying to enact it.
The GP called me back and heard what was happening so she called an ambulance and asked for me to be admitted to hospital.
The paramedics came and thought it would be better for me to be cared for in the community. They were here for about an hour, did a really accurate assessment and were compassionate, patient and helpful. I felt very guilty about taking up their time.
They phoned and phoned until they got through to someone who was supposed to sort out community support. I was told this would happen same-day and that because it was in place to be seen same-day at home, I wouldn't need to go into hospital.
I was still in a very bad place. 7pm I got a phone call saying the crisis team would be out the next morning.
Ok. Husband put me to bed in the hope I'd sleep through the worst emotions and feel a bit better tomorrow. This is new territory for both of us as I've never felt this strongly depressed before.
I got up to find out the crisis team had come and when husband said I was asleep and should he wake me, they said it was fine and they could come back at 2.
It was not fine. They didn't come back at 2.
After four more calls they finally came out after 5. They did no assessment of my suicide risk or depression, seemed to not believe anything I said.
Husband was there at the time. They ignored him.
They bounced me back to perinatal (who are not a crisis team but are doing their best) and we got no ongoing support from the crisis team.
Wednesday 16th I made a second attempt to end my life.
Today I received a letter from them in which they said they assessed me on 10th November as having "no risk of suicide" and that they had "no role in supporting her (me)." They also included a bunch of stuff that wasn't true and God knows where they got all that from.
AIBU to put in a complaint that this crisis team didn't actually assess my suicide risk or mention it or assess my depression, didn't give any support, and now have sent a letter full of lies to cover their own arses? I'm really angry and also shocked that the people who were supposed to be the last resort to help before going into hospital have done this.
I am still suicidally depressed, I'm trying my best to manage the waves of depression myself, but now I don't know who to call if I go into another crisis because these people are obviously utterly unhelpful and have made up their minds that they don't want to help me, which makes it less likely that I'll pick up the phone next time.