To complain about this **trigger warning suicide**

[BipolarWhypolarTrypolar]

So I've been in the worst depression of my life since September. It reached crisis point last Wednesday and I felt suicidal. I spent most of the day trying to get referred to the local crisis team as I thought they were supposed to help with this.
I didn't get anywhere despite about 10 phone calls to the GP and perinatal.

I made a plan to end my life and started trying to enact it.
The GP called me back and heard what was happening so she called an ambulance and asked for me to be admitted to hospital.

The paramedics came and thought it would be better for me to be cared for in the community. They were here for about an hour, did a really accurate assessment and were compassionate, patient and helpful. I felt very guilty about taking up their time.

They phoned and phoned until they got through to someone who was supposed to sort out community support. I was told this would happen same-day and that because it was in place to be seen same-day at home, I wouldn't need to go into hospital.

I was still in a very bad place. 7pm I got a phone call saying the crisis team would be out the next morning.
Ok. Husband put me to bed in the hope I'd sleep through the worst emotions and feel a bit better tomorrow. This is new territory for both of us as I've never felt this strongly depressed before.

I got up to find out the crisis team had come and when husband said I was asleep and should he wake me, they said it was fine and they could come back at 2.
It was not fine. They didn't come back at 2.

After four more calls they finally came out after 5. They did no assessment of my suicide risk or depression, seemed to not believe anything I said.
Husband was there at the time. They ignored him.

They bounced me back to perinatal (who are not a crisis team but are doing their best) and we got no ongoing support from the crisis team.
Wednesday 16th I made a second attempt to end my life.

Today I received a letter from them in which they said they assessed me on 10th November as having "no risk of suicide" and that they had "no role in supporting her (me)." They also included a bunch of stuff that wasn't true and God knows where they got all that from.

AIBU to put in a complaint that this crisis team didn't actually assess my suicide risk or mention it or assess my depression, didn't give any support, and now have sent a letter full of lies to cover their own arses? I'm really angry and also shocked that the people who were supposed to be the last resort to help before going into hospital have done this.

I am still suicidally depressed, I'm trying my best to manage the waves of depression myself, but now I don't know who to call if I go into another crisis because these people are obviously utterly unhelpful and have made up their minds that they don't want to help me, which makes it less likely that I'll pick up the phone next time.

@Yesthatismychildsigh thank you. That makes me feel better. I'd ask how many you've got but only if you wanted to say.
@Cw112 that's really reassuring to hear what to expect, I've been so scared of going to A+E because it feels like such a dramatic thing to do and I had worries that they'd section me for months on end and I'd have no control over my medication/treatment etc. If it gets bad again I'll bear it in mind. I've found the number for PALS so I'm going to give them a ring and see if they can help me work out how to complain because I don't have a number for the crisis team.

Although saying what I did, I also know a happier future probably seems impossible right now. You might even have to get through each day hour by hour. But you can.

@BipolarWhypolarTrypolar can you go to your local A&E and ask to see the psychiatric liaison team. They can assess you and signpost you in the right direction / arrange an MHA is necessary and even look for an inpatient bed if they think you need admitting.

@BipolarWhypolarTrypolar www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline/location

That will give you the number for the crisis team in your area

@Deguster Me too. No help whatsoever. Had to go private to get any support. If it is possible, I'd look around at private therapists.

Seriously if you are feeling that bad, stuff the 'crisis team' and get to a &e for some help asap Xx

In reality I’ve got three. Was going to PM you but can’t seem to do it. Only re registered a couple of months ago after leaving years ago.

@hugznotdrugz thanks, I don't want to say which area while my usual username is still on the thread. Hopefully MNHQ will get to it soon.
@Jaybird43 yes if (when?) it gets bad like that again I think I'm going to have to go to A+E which is really terrifying. It doesn't help that the car doesn't start atm and I've been waiting all week for the garage to come and fix it and we're about 40 mins away from hospitals in both directions so getting there is difficult.
@Floydthebarber thank you and I'm sorry you've been through similar and glad you've found a light at the end of the tunnel.

Most folks who go to my local A and E just get shipped back home again. Whilst you were in a crisis something needs to be sorted to support you now. Have you been back in touch with your GP?

@ArnoldBee yes they've been phoning me every couple of days to check in with me. They've made about 5 urgent referrals to CMHT, who said on Wednesday when I phoned to chase up that they won't be able to see me for at least 3-4 months after perinatal do a transfer of care (my time with them is up soon). That precipitated my attempt this week because it just feels so hopeless and like I'm going to feel like this forever and no one is going to help. The GP has been really good and so have perinatal with things that are within their remit but no one seems able to get CMHT to give a damn.

It makes me angry that there is not enough adequate help for people like yourselves. I complained to pals as my referral was closed because they dudbt get a reply to a text message that they sent which I can add was never sent. They then lied about it..I am waiting for another referrals which is now in its 11 month.

Hi OP, hope you're ok. I worked for a perinatal MH team up until only recently. I'm confused as to whether they have not requested admission for you to a mother and baby unit (are you aware those exist?) In our area, the crisis team do not 'gatekeep' mother and baby beds, that decision was always ours as perinatal. How old is your baby? If you are actively suicidal you should be admitted to a mother and baby unit with your baby. With perinatal mental health the risks are so much higher so care in the community at crisis point often isn't the preferred option the way it is usually.

If you are still feeling this way I would speak to the perinatal service about admission. Someone also mentioned A&E. Another option, although not the 'done thing', is to call your local MBU (mother and baby unit) if you feel like you are getting nowhere and are at crisis point. They need a professional referral for admission, but it would certainly get the wheels in motion and they can offer advice to your husband on how to support you in the moment.

Feel free to pm me x

Make an appointment or an online consultation about your mental health. I got a call back a few days later and the ball is rolling to set the next steps in place. I likely know exactly what you're going through. Try to think of it as a phase, like pmt. It's the only thing that gets me through, just ride it out, ride it out. And it does get exhausting riding it out and it does feel rational to end it. But... Please hold on for better times. Please be a reality to your child and not just a name and a hole that you leave behind. If it's something that can be talked through, to understand your thoughts etc, reach out to the doctors in the meantime. Write things down. If you cba. I know you're feeling hopeless and likely worthless. If you have to use the shit crisis team, (or whoever it was) use that to get a fire going inside you, a purpose, for yourself and for others. But, no matter how you feel right now, last week, last month... there's always next week, next month for things to turn around. I hope no one takes what I've said and twists it or takes it out of the context I'm meaning. You are worthy, you are valued, you have one fucking life on this Earth. Make plans, have things to look forward to...even if you're not interested at the moment. But please reach out to the doctors in the meantime. Hopefully they'll be as good as mine seem to be 🤞 I wish you all the best op.

I’m so sorry you're going through this.
The only dr who tried to help my friend’s ds was in A&E. He was brilliant and stayed with her ds until someone from the hospital’s psychiatry team arrived.

The crisis team who’d been called out twice were absolutely useless, and like you, there were so many inaccuracies and downright lies in their reports.

I hope you get the help you need and deserve. 💐

@NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet Hi no no one has suggested M+B, probably because of my DD's age. She turns one in a week's time so I think I'm ineligible. I'm being discharged from perinatal at the end of the month for the same reason. Unfortunately, just like with my first child, the depression hit when I started weaning around 10 months and by the time I got referrals etc, the child's too old for the support that would have helped.

Ah I've just seen you are getting to the end of the period of time the perinatal service can work with you, that makes a little more sense. My other advice would be to find out if there are any crisis cafes in your area that you can go to if you are struggling, or any voluntary agencies that can fill the gap as you are transferred.

3-4 months is just not acceptable however. All services are incredibly stretched but that is ridiculous. If I were your perinatal worker I'd be escalating to senior management. They might be doing this.

OP, I'm so sorry. I've been where you are and it's horrendous.

The only advice I have is to present at A&E. Tell them what you're feeling and any plans etc and refuse to leave without adequate support. It shouldn't be this hard though.

The crisis teams aren't worth the funding they receive no matter how poor that is. I got no help from them at all. Told to "take a bath" or "bake a cake" as if my brain was capable of either of those things at that point.

@Fleurdaisy that's really good to know it was helpful.
@NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet I feel like perinatal are doing everything they can, now they're on board, but it never really should have been their job to do it and I feel bad that they have to because CMHT are busy. I don't know if the terrible letter from the crisis team is what has made CMHT downgrade my appointment urgency, IDK how it all works but I'm hoping that's not what happened.

It's unlikely that they would have been sent the letter directly but they probably will look at it when considering your referral so it could have some bearing on their response unfortunately. It's such a terrible system. This is probably the last thing you want to be doing but if perinatal have transferred you then I'd be going back to your GP. A stern letter from a GP highlighting the urgency should help x

Oh god yes I always get told "go for a walk". I've been for so many fecking walks lately that my trainers are almost perpetually soggy. I went for walks before ever calling the GP about my mental health. If walking helped, I'd have the mental acuity of Superman.

@PassThePringles who would you suggest making an appointment with? The GP referred me to mental health. The GP referred me to perinatal. Mental health washed their hands of it as perinatal were involved. Perinatal can't do crisis. Crisis team washed their hands of it.
Lot of hand washing going on.
Proof if ever I needed it that the world is a happier place without me.

I'm coming off this thread for a bit as I have to go get one of my babies from nursery but I will be back.
Can anyone who sees this report my namechange fail post please on page 1 as MNHQ haven't got to it yet and if anyone from that crisis team see this post at all I don't want them being able to read about the rest of my life.

You are in my thoughts, I've had similar from mental health teams and they are terrible.

'The crisis teams aren't worth the funding they receive no matter how poor that is. I got no help from them at all. Told to "take a bath" or "bake a cake" as if my brain was capable of either of those things at that point.'
yes!!! I've had similar 'advice'. It distracts you from the pain for a snipet and then it all comes flooding back.
Bristol mental health team were full of these distraction methods.
Absolutely useless. The GP tells you to ring the number and this is what you get.

It's exactly like this with children's mental health too. The crisis team say have you tried watching tv or colouring etc.

People don't realise how bad services are until they need to use them.