Hi all. Looking for some reassurance I guess.
my little girl is 8 weeks old. She was and is so wanted and I couldn’t wait to meet her and become her mummy.
unfortunately- it hasn’t been what I’d expected it to be and I’ve been really ill and suffering with severe postnatal depression. I feel sad and hopeless and keep questioning whether I love my daughter - because how could I if I feel sad all the time (this pains me so much to say) - I haven’t felt like myself since she was born, we had a difficult birth and my mental health has declined pretty much everyday since. I have obsessive thoughts everyday, questioning why I don’t feel things I should be feeling. Guilt for not being happy. This is all I’ve ever wanted and yet I’ve never ever felt so low and hopeless in my life. I am caring for our baby girl and my partner is amazing and has been so supportive but I literally feel like a shell of a person. I started on sertraline two weeks ago, spend a week on 25 and increased to 50mg on Monday this week. Has anyone else experienced anything similar and does it get better? Everyone keeps saying it will but I feel so low right now I worry about how it’s going to ever get better and if I’ll be able to enjoy my baby and our new family life together. Honestly breaking my heart feeling like this and feeling like I’m ruining it for my little girl, she deserves more and so does my boyfriend. I had a few days this week when I upped the dose where I felt a little better and then yesterday I dived again and now feel worse than before. I don’t know what else to do the guilt is killing me