Fired! Now what!

[Pinkypong]

Hi, I posted before, I just got a new job after ages as a sahm. It was a wonderful role with prospects and I’ve been let go. My it skills are not enough. I’m not what she thought I would be.
im devastated. I can’t sleep. It took me so long to find this role. Worse, it took some of the stress off Dp and he’s started to look almost jolly. How do I tell him? What do I tell the teens? How do I get another job?
I’m feeling so stupid, I’m an older mum and I’ve just been lost ever since moving here, now I’m ancient and unemployable. I just seem to have struggled for years and been lost now I’m ancient and lost. I honestly don’t think I can cope with whatever else life throws at me. It’s exhausting and lonely and oh so rubbish. I can’t understand what happened. Just a waste. Please help me get back on track.

Sorry but I find it easiest to be practical during hard times

Tell your husband immediately. It’s not your fault they let you go

There’s loads of short, free online IT courses - enrol immediately. There’s everything from basics to more complex software. What did you struggle with? If you present him with a solution, it softens the blow.

Teens - just say you’re looking for a new job as it didn’t work out.

Start job hunting, add this role on your CV to freshen it (recent experience massively helps) and your courses will make you more appealing

you’re not unemployable, maybe it wasn’t the right field for you? What job was it and what else are you interested in?

I'm so sorry, OP. It sounds like a really upsetting situation.
Can I make a suggestion? Be honest with yourself about your computer skills. If you've been away from the world of computers for a bit, it would be really beneficial to do a course or otherwise develop your skills. These days you can learn from YouTube.

Are you able to do any volunteering around your family commitments? If so, do that. Unemployment is brutal at the moment so anything that can update your CV or develop your skills can only help.

Best of luck.

Thank you guys! It’s really, really nice to hear a helpful voice in the middle of the night!
I thought I’d updated my skills, but not enough obviously.
200degrees I need practical! I’m so eaten up with anxiety, I can’t think.
I genuinely thought I’d updated my skills, but got caught out with Google Drive which I’ve now learnt. It didn’t take long!
The job was setting something up. Which I have a very very little experience of from setting up my own hobby version, but this was in a different scale. I think she realised it would be a much bigger learning curve than anticipated. Maybe it wasn’t entirely my fault. She did say she liked me so may have been doing some wishful thinking.

im interested in anyone that will have me!

glitterandunicorns thank you. It does feel like whatever I learn, the jobs are looking for something else. I’ll definitely take the volunteering idea on.
Maybe it wasn’t entirely my fault, though of course I wanted so much to crack on and achieve.

I still have a morning a week in term time doing something else, I shall work hard at that.
thanks for dragging me up from the floor of despair. I really hope I get something, especially as everyone is telling me it’s never been easier to get work at the moment. Does not help me feel good!

Maybe have a look at something like Upworks, where you can work for yourself. There are sometimes jobs on there where someone wants 10 admin hours a week done online, checking emails etc.

Thanks Clary. I find upworks totally daunting. So many talented people. I have lost confidence totally. Got more and more isolated, feel more and more behind.there’s just too much to learn! And it’s all too much rush.

@Pinkypong this is definitely not your fault, so please don't blame yourself.

That's great that you've learned about Google Drive. Tbh, I've been working in a job that uses computers a lot for 20 years and I've never needed to use that, so it sounds like you were just unlucky.

You sound like you'd be a really good employee; keen to do a good job, willing to try different things and when you've identified knowledge gaps, you've made the effort to go and learn. I wish you the best of luck.

Sign up with an an agency so you have something immediately.
My husband would be supportive not angry maybe that's the bigger issue

Thanks . I'm on my phone so it's a different user name. I'm sat outsid some wierd thing to give women confidence maybe I'm wasting my time. What do I tell dp? She said it's a bigger role than shed first thought and she needs someone with more relevant experience whose done it before

That sound ok doesn't it?

You should do a course to learn about Microsoft’s basic software which includes sharepoint. It’s basically Microsoft’s version of Google drive but sharepoint is more commonly used. I haven’t used google drive in a while but I’m sure I’d be fine using it as the premise is the same as sharepoint

Thanks glitterandunicorns ( such a nice name) for the much needed vote of confidence! and Mandy. It’s hard not to blame myself, I keep going over and over , what if I’d said this or learnt that.. but I guess her idea of the role changed, and I don’t have those skills. Or I could, but she doesn’t feel she can take time to train me. I’d learn myself, but I guess she just wants someone experienced. Sorry if I’m wittering.
im on LinkedIn learning as I thought it would be a worthwhile investment, so I’ll take your advice 200degrees
while I’m at it, are there any basic skills I should have to work in an office, or at anything? I’ve learnt teams, some of Monday.com, some trello, some slack. I need to brush up on office.

bugger, I’m ancient and crap. No the womens confisdence thing did NOT help!

I work in Civil Service (have a look at jobs here 😊). I recommend you master the basics in Microsoft:

-Edge
-Teams (the more “advanced” stuff are channels & hosting meetings)
-Outlook (try and nail down email etiquette)
-Onedrive/sharepoint (cloud storage/shared folders)
-excel (we have loads of trackers)
-word

No day goes by where all of the above aren’t used!

Bonus:
-powerpoint
-Skype/Zoom (some companies prefer these)
-one note (personal digital notes)

That’s the basic stuff down, anything further like company specific software you should be able to pick up along the way. General windows hacks are good too, ie how to screenshot something. Or how to crop a screenshot (snip tool) and send on.

udemy has loads of free courses

Hi 200degrees that’s an absolutely brilliant list, thank you very much indeed. Never heard of excel trackers, oh boy I have a lot to learn!

That’s a failure on their part. I had new mature staff that were not up on their skills with IT and I’d sit with them and show them what to do and support them.
If you weren’t up to the job, they shouldn’t have given the job to you in the first place and I’d say they were out of their depth not giving you the support and training.

Thanks. She just said my it skills would take too long to improve and she couldn’t take the other guy off his work to train me. I think she is underestimating my ability to run through a few quick courses in my spare time. I think it’s more I don’t fit for whatever reason. Oh well.I’m very disappointed but I obviously have to crack on and find something else.

I would see this job as your ‘getting back used to being in work’ stage.

I would also put this in my CV as a temporary position - it shows that you have got some recent experience which is great!

I would just keep looking in places like indeed and other job sites and just keep applying.
You will definitely get the one you’re meant to get.

I wouldn’t keep it from my family as there’s nothing to be ashamed of and you’ll feel worse trying to hide it and lie, than if you just came out with the truth.

Good luck with your job search OP.
Please keep us updated.

Thank you so much noteverybidylives I keep reading this thread in the hope of a miracle solution! I feel such a nob. I think you have a great point, I’ll put it on as temporary position and keep applying.
Thank you so much for the support and encouragement!

It was also a pretty full on role with a lot of responsibility, for stuff I’ve not done before, so I was pretty terrified tbh. Maybe it’s for the best. I hope so!

l’ be been there more than once op so I get how you’re feeling. Mine was due to poor organisation skills, time keeping, also I just struggled generally a few times. Im dyslexic with undiagnosed adhd suspected and I’ve always struggled. :( never getting the job but keeping it. Try Zoop recruitment if you’re local, although to be fair they have roles all over uk depending on what field you’re after.

Best of luck op, don’t lose hope. <3

OP please stop saying to yourself you are old / past it / crap, it's a horrible way to treat yourself. Look at it this way.... You put yourself out there and got a job but it just wasn't the right fit for you and your employer saw that. Happens more than you realise. So dust yourself off, think about what you learned from the experience and start applying again. Like others have said, be honest about your skill set and focus on what you can do. Temp work is a great way to build confidence and skills. Lots of people start there and even find a long term position that suits them that way, but you have to try and believe in yourself, just a little bit at least...

Thank you.
breastfeedingworries you sound like me! Ifeel for you, being organised is a real struggle, and dyslexia must make it incredibly hard. Well done for doing what you do.
legdaysucks thank you, that helps to think it wasn’t the right fit and she saw that. She needed someone who was the me I’d like to be and was once, but I’m realising isn’t the me I am now. ( eh!?)
thanks for the reframe. You are right, I’ve done it once, I can do it again.
ok here’s a plan..
revamp cv and put this on as a temp role.
learn the stuff 200degrees has listed.
apply to everything I might stand a chance at.
I have never worked in admin/ temp type roles so am looking to see what I need for them.
any other tips very welcome.
I’m terrified! And so needy!
thank you everyone

oh crap, this is hard. Mega depression and huge anxiety is making me feel I’ll. Want everything to go away. I can’t do this anymore, keep going an and getting nowhere. Utterly bleak and joyless future. I know I’m posting too much but it’s mad isn’t it, there’s no one to talk to in RL.
my mum passed away so i charged over there, which meant I delayed the start of the job, by 2 weeks. Then, I don’t know, it was all so hard to keep up and feel stupid and old, and now covid. If I was my friend I’d say nice things and send me to bed.beacause I’m me, I know I don’t deserve it!
I do really I’m sure

I just told Dp and he’s just said, ‘ what can you do? ‘ I don’t know. I’m so useless.

I think you've dodged a bullet there.
If they're not willing to spend a bit of time updating your skills they're not a great employer.
They should be giving you a chance rather than letting you go so soon.
I'm sure you'll be on to bigger and better things in no time at all, as you're so keen to learn.
Wishing you luck with it.

Thanks parpados I just don’t know where to start. She wants someone who can run with it - and that’s not me. I feel so stupid, like Dh said, ‘what can you do?’ Nothing, it seems.