Fired! Now what!

[Pinkypong]

Hi, I posted before, I just got a new job after ages as a sahm. It was a wonderful role with prospects and I’ve been let go. My it skills are not enough. I’m not what she thought I would be.
im devastated. I can’t sleep. It took me so long to find this role. Worse, it took some of the stress off Dp and he’s started to look almost jolly. How do I tell him? What do I tell the teens? How do I get another job?
I’m feeling so stupid, I’m an older mum and I’ve just been lost ever since moving here, now I’m ancient and unemployable. I just seem to have struggled for years and been lost now I’m ancient and lost. I honestly don’t think I can cope with whatever else life throws at me. It’s exhausting and lonely and oh so rubbish. I can’t understand what happened. Just a waste. Please help me get back on track.

Thanks veridigal I’m being silly. I just hate feeling like this. A call Center would be good.
cant help thinking last week how good I felt going to my jobs! Right, better keep this one.

oviraptor I’m certainly irritating him at the moment. I don’t do anything right. Well I was beginning to when I had a job.

It's him that's not doing anything right @Pinkypong . Please stop blaming yourself. You tried. It didn't work out. You can do this and you will if your husband stops undermining you and starts supporting you. It will make a world of difference to your mental health.

Can you see a GP and get referred for counselling?

Your husband's behaviour is totally unacceptable but I think you need some help in seeing that.

I think he’s just worried as we all are, about money and pensions and stuff.

Off to work! My 1 morning a week job! Fingers crossed

Some great advice from the Mums - I'm a gran so have even more work experience - and have had a lot of jobs - I would honestly join a temping recruitment agency - best thing I ever did and I was a LOT older than you when I joined the one that sent me on my final assignment which quickly developed into my current role. Was at a fairly junior position in the first instance but I soon rose up the ranks and found my niche. Met some of the other lovely temps at a social event that the agency organised and the diverse ages and skills of the temps blew my mind?

I recommended this agency to several friends who had been out of the workplace for a while and all joined and found permanent positions after successfully temping.

You can totally do this, OP - believe in yourself - it's a blip - a set back, nothing more - get your big girl knickers on and put yourself out there.

Your OH sounds like an arsehole and probably a contributing factor to your anxiety but that's a whole other thread.
I returned to the workplace after a long break and my first job was a disaster - ok so I didn't get sacked but the stress nearly killed me, my boss was horrible and I literally used to lie awake at night dreading the next day. Thankfully DH could see what it was doing to me and supported me in quitting so after 9 months I left went and did some temping which was the break I needed and a much needed boost to my ego/self esteem. Some jobs were great (loved working in retail over Christmas!) other less so (mail room!) most were quite dull office jobs but having to meet new people, adapt and learn on the job really pushed me out of comfort zone and I made of point of not turning down work unless it wasn't practical. I'd honestly suggest you look at doing the same and then tell your OH to fuck off

I have since found a full time job I love which is completely unrelated to any past career and something I would never have considered a year ago.

I've commented on your other thread.

I'm sorry you lost your job. Try not to take it to heart.

You DH is abusive though.

Try and take a step back and figure out what you want.

Thank you squishygloopy bum that’s a lovely post.it’s very nice of you to commment on both.
In case anyone is wondering, I was so ott stressed and didn’t know where to post, so I put one in work and one in mental health . I hope that’s ok. Your comments and support are amazing! . Im not quite so panicky and have some great ideas that I would never have know about if it weren’t for you.
happygranny thank you for this. It’s very
, very reassuring to hear that you have got a new career and are even older than me!
You and Phoebemcfeefee and others say temping which defhad t occurred to me, so I will apply tomorrow. Well done phoebe! Thank you for sharing, that’s reassuring. I was only a few weeks in and the stress and juggling were overwhelming.
this is lovely, thank you, I’m going to stick it on my wall!

You can totally do this, OP - believe in yourself - it's a blip - a set back, nothing more - get your big girl knickers on and put yourself out there.

what a wonderful comment.

Thanks everyone

I’ve re read this thread a gazillion times. Thank you very much, it’s very helpful. I’m applying to more today. Very hard not to feel anxious and useless. Also got to clean, etc. just want everything to go away. Can’t actually cope. Which is ridiculous. There’s just so much to do, and it never goes away.

Can you try and get some local job in a shop or something that you like/love. So you have your own thing and some enjoyment too
Local cafe?
Toy shop?
Clothes shop?
Anything to get out and about ?

Yes thanks bored of. So nice to hear from you! I’ve never been so needy, it’s insane.
my current plan is to get a very simple job anywhere at all, I really hope I can get one soon, and just take it from there. I know Dh won’t like it, but I don’t know what else to do.

You DH won't approve of anything you try and do.

I'm really quite worried for you. I'm not sure getting a job is going to solve the issues here. It will be good for you to get some confidence and independence but your DH is the big elephant in the room.

He’s just always wanted me to get a good job as I had one once and I think both of us underestimated how hard it is once you lose confidence. I don’t know what’s happened. I’ve just screwed up.

He hasn't op.

He's continually belittled you when you did get a job. Made it difficult for you.

He is the reason why you have lost your confidence.

Thanks, it’s so nice to hear from you as am feeling well, dunno.

What I’ve written is just my take on it, and I may well have got it wrong.
can I just share this though? Confused!

Dh has just asked me what’s wrong. he talks in a strict dad sort of way which makes me anxious.
I said I feel like everything is crashing around me. He told me Its not, because he has a job, and I can’t go under, I need a plan, I’m running out of time.
somehow this makes me anxious.
last year he’s cross because I’m doing Etsy ‘it’ll never make money’ now he says I have to do that as well as get a job.

this is so confusing. I stopped Etsy because I find it exhausting to justify doing it. Now I have to do it? I’m getting mixed messages.

am I being over sensitive? I don’t know what I’m looking for. If you say he’s a nob, ltb. I can’t. Is there a way if not being over sensitive? I’m sure some women would just say eff off . Don’t know what I’m asking really, just tired and exhausted. And to be fair so is he, he’s the one that has a long drive and a hard day at work.

And I’ve re read this and I sound utterly wet!

Do you ever stand up to him? Tell him you're sick of being criticised no matter what you do?

Or are you afraid of him?

The answer is not to make yourself less sensitive (it is completely normal to feel anxious in this situation). It's to get away from the person who is deliberately pulling you down.

Yes, I do stand up to him, but not about this topic. Just want to escape as soon as!
What is completely normal about feeling anxious in this situation? I think it’s cos of mixed messages? Sorry, I’m confused! I know I’d have preferred a hug! ( he doesn’t do hugs)

It's normal to feel anxious when you're living with a bully.

I retired at 55 went back to work at 65 in a different type of work, found my way round various different software systems and earned a decent way. I did agency work and took my pick of jobs...lots of work around. Pick yourself up and go for it. I'm no IT wizard.

Thanks do you have any more details? How on Earth do you start work again at 65? What software?
if only I could stop feeling so paralysed with fear.

Morning! Another day of dread and fear. Spent the night being terrified and reading these threads so thank you for helping.
calling the gp today, I’m frightening myself. Dh is in the office so I have to get stuff done and not be paralysed with fear.
i don’t know how. I’m so so scared. It’s like everything I’ve ever been scared of and all the terrifying things that have happened to me has just crashed into me in one big wave.