Told my therapist I felt unhealthily attached to them and that I felt I wanted them to be my friend and.....

[onlyyooooo]

....long story short, went to therapy for a while (private) therapist helped me to deal with a lot of traumatic stuff. Realised I felt unhealthily attached to therapist as in I wanted them to be a friend (DEFINITELY not sexual on my part).

All the advice said speak to therapist about this. I terminated therapy then sent an email explaining this was why.

Therapist replied along the lines of great idea!! Let's be friends.

What?

Anyone experienced ANYTHING remotely like this?

within a few weeks of seeing a new therapist we coincidentally saw each other in town while I was with a friend. Therapist said “Hi” as we passed. Five minutes later I got a text from her apologising as we hadn’t had chance to discuss in session how I would like her to behave if we were to meet socially.

Mine said in our first session, if we happened to meet somewhere, she wouldn't acknowledge me unless I did first, especially if I was with someone else. I would have been fine with saying hi, but I can understand others might not be open about seeing a therapist, so it's entirely right to set these sorts of expectations. (Never did see her outside of our meetings, though.)

He is firmly in the territory of being a predator. It doesn’t matter what training or school of thought a practitioner prefers or is guided by, they are qualified and regulated on the basis that it is NEVER ethical to instigate, or indeed engage in, a personal relationship with a patient. This is an absolute red line. If your practitioner ever gets close to it, they are breaking fundamental rules of practice and important ethical standards. They would be in a lot of trouble if you reported them. You don’t have to report them. That would be your choice. But they know the code that they are violating and it would be taken seriously if there was evidence.

You must report him to whatever body he belongs to. Let them decide what to do when they have the letter. Please do you will be saving someone - he will do it again.

Bollocks. It's nothing like being an accountant ffs. Medical professionals, most especially psychologists/psychotherapists, are a special case with REALLY strict ethical codes around how they handle clients' disclosures and vulnerabilities for good reason - the potential to do great harm because of the power imbalance between them and the client. Post-therapy friendships aren't entirely forbidden but I think are generally advised against because there is always the potential for the client to want to resume therapy.
The therapist is being completely unethical here, he's not being "affirming" or "supportive".
An ethical therapist would have been affirming and supportive by, for example, responding, "I appreciate you disclosing this to me, and I wish you well"; or, "if you ever wish to resume therapy let me know. It's been a pleasure working with you."
As for spidey senses - they're ringing a five alarm fire now, are you really telling OP to ignore her instincts? A boundary violation is a boundary violation, it doesn't matter at what stage of therapy it occurs.

Be very careful OP. I had a few weird guys in my 20s and 30s.

One was an acupuncturist who offered his services to me free when I decided to end the course; the next made me sit on his hand in the first session and then spell 'cocksix' out loud.

The third was a herbalist who told me after a few sessions that he would be transferring his clients to his home from the following month. When I randomly mentioned this to the receptionist a week or so later, she said she'd had no idea of this.

F*ing pervs the lot of them IMO!

Ugh. Tempting to spell out D I C K H E A D instead.

I don’t think it’s the norm.but I also no it does happen.I think more often if it does it’s usually a time after.or meet by accident etc.
but it’s then equal you are no longer in roles your just two people who seen eqcother in the pub. It does or doesn’t work.
but this sounds inappropriate as hell.

It's a love letter. He's infatuated with you.

I'm guessing he's registered with UKCP.
I understand what people are saying about transference and this can be worked through during the sessions etc. but I can also see you've said that you felt like you were just continuing to go but seems you were no longer 'working' in therapy, therefore wanted to end the therapeutic relationship.
Changing your relationship into a friendship wouldn't be appropriate and it's quite normal for a client to suggest this.
He could have said that you could discuss this in therapy and take it from there to work on.

It's transference & you should definitely not be friends. Once worked through properly, these feelings will fall away. This is professional misconduct as others have said. No therapist who valued their career would behave like this.

Infatuated with himself.

Please report him.

You have been able to handle it really maturely but others may not.

This is so wrong. Please tell us that you knew this. Please report.

Urgh, I had this with a so called professional who was providing graded exposure therapy to a traumatic event I had been involved in. I thought I had researched him thoroughly enough but obviously I didn’t. The alarm bells were ringing on day 1 but it was only after session 4, when I hadn’t heard from him for 5 weeks to arrange another session, that I realised I was being groomed as he told me he had to look for a new place to live as his marriage had broken down. In the first 2 sessions he made reference to us having an affair. I just ignored it. He constantly asked about my husband even though he had nothing to do with the trauma/treatment. Was he supportive/did he listen to me like he did etc. Promised he would do anything to help me. Another session he told me all about his suicide attempt and it felt like I was counselling him. Then he told me he had left his wife and would tell me all about it the next time I saw him. He was blocked at this point. Curiosity did get the better of me and I checked out is FB page - he was declaring his love for his amazing wife and kids etc. happy families. I should have reported him but I didn’t feel strong enough at the time. I just hope the next person he does this to realises and escapes. He is a complete and utter creep and sadly in the perfect role to groom.

This is very disappointing and unsettling, and I also think you should report him if you can. Not the same thing, but I had an experience of therapy some years ago which was also in the end upsetting, because the therapist chose to break boundaries.

I was in quite a difficult place in my life, and quite vulnerable, was in psychodynamic therapy for a while, felt it helped, saw her as quite maternal/containing and felt calmed by her steadiness, calmness etc which was a big contrast to the rest of my life at that time.

Therapy ended after a couple of years, I felt positive about it. A few weeks after the end she called me out of the blue. I too am a mental health professional, and she had a member of her close family who was in a mental health crisis, and she wanted my advice about getting help. She gave me a fair amount of detail before I could stop her, was clearly rattled and upset, even described how the person had turned up on her doorstep, had stolen prescription drugs from her, and how she did not know what to do.

While I was sympathetic, and did give advice about how to access appropriate services, I was really unsettled. It negated my whole concept of her as the calming mother figure (I have issues with my own mother of course) who could cope with the messiness of my life at that time and got me through a crisis. I wished I had never gone to her and felt really let down. Maybe unreasonably. But the information I gave her she could totally have accessed in a one-minute Google. I felt used and wondered what her agenda was in seeking support from me.

🤣

@MissHopeful @catandcandle

What awful experiences, I can’t believe therapists could behave like this!

I am a therapist and I can safely say that your counsellor is bang out of order. That is totally inappropriate. They should be helping you with this and helping you unpick it. I have had clients ask this and I always say no, gently, explaining how we may have had a close and intimate relationship but they don't know me. It's all projected.

This is exactly my thought. It's common to develop feelings towards a therapist when you are working through issues. And there are healthy ways to deal with those feelings, with the right support.

Any professional body should have a complaints line - as others have said, I’d definitely get in touch with them. I know it’ll be a faff for you but as others have said, I’d worry about him doing this again.

It's Jordan Peterson isn't it?

Sorry I don’t buy this.

You don't have to. You can just move along without commenting. Or troll hunting.

Who is it?

Don't buy what? That sometimes some professionals behave in unprofessional ways? I have some rather shocking news for you I am afraid...