I'm at the end of my tether. My once DP is chronically ill and now unable to do anything for himself. His life is awful and so is mine. He has just given up, become completely self absorbed and demanding. I work in a busy, FT job and am required in the office several times a week. There's a fair commute involved we have an Infant school aged child.
Our downstairs is now more like a hospital than a home. It is,always noisy. 'D'P has withdrawn from family life and mostly ignores us, except when he wants something and spends his time watching his laptop with the sounds blaring out (despite having headphones). He is oblivious to what's going on around him (through choice rather than illness) and often ends up upsetting one of us through being inconsiderate because he's inside his own bubble. He does not understand the pressure I am under to work, run a house, be a lone parent and carer. He makes requests/demands that I think are unreasonable without any thought to how they affect me. We have has so many arguments alt this recently, but he just keeps doing it. It's like he has completely lost any empathy.
My main problem is that I'm so sleep deprived. I can't go to bed until he does. He wakes me up at least once a night and DC has recently had a spate of waking too and crying (bad dreams or scared of being alone in the night) - I would get just around 5 hours 45 mins, but I am woken 2 or 3 times during the night.
It's making me into a horrible person. I am irritable, sad, resentful and so, so angry. My concentration is off at work, I feel physically week and shaky at times and I utterly hate myself.Tonight I have had a horrendous meltdown when I was woken up. Completely unacceptable. I felt like harming.
We can't go on like this and I'm so scared and so sad. I've asked so many times for some consideration but it falls on deaf ears. Our lives are so restricted and my DC and I sacrifice so much to try and keep us together. I live in the vain hope we can be OK again, but I don't think there's any coming back from this.