Parent and carers of anxious teens(part 6)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Another thread full!!
For anyone new,these threads started as my D's had crippling anxiety in year 8( and was later diagnosed ASD)now about to start 6th form in September we have been running this quite a while!
This is a safe space to discuss the overwhelm that can engulf us,seek advice and find friendship with others in a similar position.
Please note this is a non judgemental space and respect and care of each other is at the centre of what we are here for.
Whether you want to vent and run,or hang around a while,welcome!

Dd's camhs Psychiatrist prescribed Fluoxetine. She had very low dose to start then slowly increased and she didn't get any bad side effects.
It takes the edge off the anxiety enough for her to be able to leave the house without panicking. She's managed a few full days out and has taken public transport with friends over the summer which would have been impossible before the Fluoxetine. She says it feels like she has more energy. So it's been a success for her.

My youngest DD is on fluxeotine and it is helping. She tried setraline but that was less successful.
Its trial and error getting right dose and medication but it can make a difference, take the edge off enough so they can start to function and engage with therapy and life.
DD had side effects with setraline- nausea, but had none with fluxeotine, not sure if it was because she was used to this type of med. They start on a low dose and increase, it can take a couple of months for side effects to settle and see an improvement.
If shes been struggljng for a while its defintely worth a try. But she may need to see a child and adolescent psychiatrist ( privately or via cahms) to prescribe.
My oldest DD was on fluxeotine when she had anorexia - she took it for a couple of years but is now off it and coping well. So it may not be a long term thing.

Good luck to all of those going back to school/ college this week.
I hope it goes smoothly.
DD restarts on wednesday, we are hoping to use all her EOTAS tuition hours this academic year so tuition will be ramped up for her so Im hoping she will cope, particularly as im appealing for more hours so she doesnt have to choose between tuition and SEMH activities.

Helpddgrowsorry I didn't pick this up sooner lovely,madhouse here yesterday!
Not all schools have staff in offices until the day of return.for future reference have a staff member(ideally head of year)whom you can email and request advanced copy of timetable.both D's and lil zoo received copies of timetables(different schools,D's even in different county)and any known changes within the school day

How's everyone holding up?
Lil zoo returned Tuesday,was exhibiting highly anxious behaviours(fretting over her stomach might make a lot of noise/needing to open bowels before left house/gut pain/fussing over her fringe being just so etc)but I have discovered going out on errands before she leaves eliminates any interaction/possibility of drama/refusal to leave and she went in.ice cold drink was available on her return 3lessons later and she seemed in better fettle.bit of stress yesterday,but I'd looking forward to art today so hoping thatll make this morning easier(plus finally getting last of windows replaced,and doors completed<work started beg of July and been hit by one debacle after another>so avoiding strangers in camp will help get her off too)

Ds went back yesterday,he's been highly agitated and irritable but was brilliant getting ready (I with extra prompts as he has to be ready for taxi by 730).he was extra negative on return about new points system for work/behaviour snipping about kids get points not be on phones etc and it fell on deaf ears my explaining how it's to help motivate less able/more difficult students to focus.he will be rewarded as there's points good academia etc but he has always been drawn to what's not)in his opinion) any good and we are used to it!he was super tired last night,hoping the workmen arriving this morning also acts as a spur up be ready early and keen to "escape"🤣

Dd2 isn't doing good
Had our needs assessment and are be offered series workshops on ASD ,followed by 1-2-1 on anything required after that
We have decided to withdraw from ADs as her mood and anxiety aren't improving and she gets herself in such a pickle as they seem to inhibit meltdowns(which means instead peaks and then calming she runs on long term extra high about to meltdown but it doesn't taper well)
She's gaining weight rapidly as sensorally seeks orally and comforts too.
I have her get up and go bed strictly routine but as deferred uni we need to work on getting her a loose routine in the day to help her regulate and get MH into a better place(suggestions welcome? We currently walking daily,and she's been watching a favourite TV show in bed.rest day asking reassurance and anxious over EVERYTHING
I'm exhausted😞

Be glad when this heatwaves over as that's rubbing everyone up the wrong way too!

Sending positivity and strength to all as your DC return to settings and hope everyone will check in with their news soon x

Mine won’t go. She’s 17 and in burnout. We got recusal to assess for EHCP even though she’s seen CAHMs, psychologists, psychiatrists and self harmed. Feeling pretty desperate.

School want her to leave.

I wish I had answers for both of you,but I don't😞
I do offer support and an outlet to vent how exhausting ,frustrating and stressful it all is

Window men turned up with wrong door and glass of wrong sizes.third time!😤
Lost my shizzle it puts at DC in spin having strangers in camp,and plans now changing.big boss is ment be swooping in on monday.im LIVID and tired/upset of the stress of moving stuff around and managing kids and still not be sorted properly.just sat and cried😞

@helpddgrow Email would be better, that way you have a paper trail as evidence if required. If you want to speak to them have you left a message or sent an email requesting a call? But remember to follow up verbal conversations with emails. If after escalating it calling and emailing doesn’t work go to the school in person and also formally complain.

@Stilllivinginazoo grr, for the door/windows. I hope today goes OK with art for DD3.

Thoughts with everyone struggling with DCs returning to school. We’re in Scotland so a few weeks in.

Had session with therapist this week, first session was just with me to go through current situation- and she will go next week. I don’t know what to expect, I was really hoping for practical tips to cope, but feels much more trying to find out where this comes from. I can only hope it helps.

Sending a virtual hug to all those with DC struggling with return to school.
Thank goodness its the weekend.
In some ways we are fortunate in that DD has an EOTAS package so has tuition rather than school which does make it easier, certainly we arent chased for attendance, tutors are kind and environment is calm. But DD is still overwhelmed, she completely shut down today.
Ive been told how " lucky" we are to get package incl transport secured, ive fought tooth and nail for it but the truth is DD really cant cope with it. Maybe ive been concentrating on the wrong things, even after all this time still focusing too much on education.
I suppose I still hanker after "normal"
Will see what next week brings

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if I've posted before.

DS13 struggles with anxiety at school, and they've been good at trying to help and support him. He's had some CBT, and we'd be happy to pay for anything that would help in the future.

I'm thinking ahead a bit, but can ad hoc beta blockers be prescribed to teens? I'm worried about DS during exams etc. I've taken beta blockers for specific events a few times, and found them to help with the physical symptoms of anxiety.

I hope this isn't a controversial question - I'm just trying to think through what possibilities might be available in the future.

runner it's ok to grieve what you feel you have "lost".I'd be a liar if I didn't sometimes wish it was different,but we do the best with cards given
Hindsight allows us to beat ourselves over the head for what we should've done- not helpful
We do the best we can at any given time with the information we had available.
If you feel things are too much/not working it's ok to reassess as say I've changed my mind lovely
You are amazing,and have been a fantastic advocate for DD.do not forget that💖

Luckofthedrawer yes
My DD was prescribed propranolol.it was the miracle we needed til it wasn't(she had a rare reaction after a couple of months doing brilliantly which ment blue tinged fingernails and breathlessness and we were warned never take it again)

We have decided to take off escitalompram.its not working,just preventing dd2 from peaking meltdowns and this causes prolonged bout high spiked anxiety.g.p has given us a very very slow taper and sleeping pills to ease her off,with option of few days diazepam if nec.shes very body aware/sensitive to feeling "off"

First week back for lil zoo went ok (better than expected)but experience says don't assume all's well.plus HOY goes on mat leave anyday(working til baby comes,then off til June) and I'm expecting her to struggle to communicate anyone else

Ds has become very withdrawn and low since school restarted

Yesterday was difficult.dd2 wanted to go to local village festival.dad said he would go,D's asked go too.id hoped all three would giving me a break.lil zoo didn't want to and ut all went terribly pearshapedwith D's and dad return without DD and her be distraught on phone and then dad text her be quite unfairly mean and swearing at her.
When finally unpicked it all was communication issues-D's has said felt odd,to which DD had felt he was bored/wanted to leave and dad had agree tale him home before looking round properly.dd was crushed as had been excited to go so said I get bus back which was too much for her.i blamed dad for leaving her and he kicked off result him throw all toys out the pram!
Reality check means I know now D's got dizzy and felt faint and scared him.had he communicated this properly,I'd have expected dad sit in shade with him whilst dd finish look round!
I'm still mad dad didn't handle it better(asking D's what odd ment etc) and way spoke DD via text will not be forgiven by me<and she was so distressed has blocked him>.I have long suspected he has ASD too,but he doesn't believe any kids have it either(it's all on the say so of one person,I don't think so)

Fun times(not)

Glad this heats go break soon.too much for all jf us.dd2 cannot do heat and gets highly irritable and stressed,D's doesn't like it and lil zoo uses it to resist ever leaving bed!!

Hope first week backs gone ok bounce
And to all who have posted recently,in past or lurk x

My dd had Propanalol during her exams. It did work, but made her very tired. So she wouldn’t take them.

Shrs now on fluoxetine which has been much more helpful.

Runner I agree with Zoo, everyone has regrets and would do certain things differently, but you did what you thought was right at the time and that is all you can do.

Hello LuckOfTheDrawer. Some GPs will prescribe beta blockers for children, but others won’t unless they are initiated by a specialist. Some that will prescribe, wouldn’t prescribe only for exams - that’s not to diminish the difficulties. Access arrangements can be provided e.g. rest breaks, separate room, extra time.

Zoo I hope the withdrawal from Escitalopram is going as well as it can.

DS1 doesn’t cope with the heat either or thunder and lightning. DS3 is having a difficult time transitioning back to school. We are going to visit another school next week.

I asked the GP to prescribe propanolol for my DD mainly because she suffers such physical symptoms of anxiety. She sweats, pupils dilate massively, hands and voice shake. I thought it would work wonders for that. Also there are some interesting studies showing that it can be beneficial to teens with Asd as it helps improve reciprocal conversation.
Unfortunately it was a non starter. GP pretty much refused anything until she sees the camhs specialist. We're still waiting for that. No more self harm that I'm aware of, which is good. I'm still worried about it though as I don't think she has developed an alternative strategy. Hope everyone is muddling along reasonably well.

My dd was prescribed propanolol to help with her anxiety earlier this year. Our GP didn't bother to refer us to CAHMs as realistically he didn't think we would get to see them before she became an adult and would then be released! He was a senior GP so perhaps it's worth going for a second opinion with a different GP? Although it's not a miracle cure, it has helped and along with counselling, we are making little steps of progress. So far return to school has been okay, she is in her final year, and only has to come in for lessons plus can leave early when she is done, this has made things much easier.

I think we all hanker after 'normal', it's completely understandable. We can only do what we think is right at that particular moment and then respond accordingly.

Thanks okisenough, zoo and bounce.
Just want the daily stress to stop - as Im sure everyone here does!
Its been very up and down here.
Had an awful night on monday very down saying she wishes she was dead then against all odds got up and went to tuition centre on tuesday morning. But she was very anxious when there and then tuition centre cocked up her timetable and english lesson didnt go ahead as they had double booked the english tutor. Furious, its just badly managed and chaotic and its the last thing she needs.
So much of eotas provision seems subject to sudden change which is stressful and not good for her ( or me!)
She hasnt managed to go today, very shut down.
However good news is we have had personal budget released and even though it doesnt cover her social emotional mental health activities im pathetically grateful!! She just needs to be in a place to engage...

Runner sorry to hear DD is up and down. Progress really is 2 steps forward, 1 step back (some sometimes 1 forward, 2 back hence my username). Good news you have the PB funds finally. Have you thought about not using a tuition centre? DS1 doesn’t, all tuition takes place and at home.

Just posting here because I know you guys will all understand. Today and yesterday I have been feeling completely overwhelmed, tired and just lost. DD had to have the day off school yesterday as she just couldn't face going in which is fine as we already discussed it was ok to do that whenever she felt the need. But for some reason it has triggered a wave of sadness and anxiety in me. No doubt it will pass but right now I feel incredibly alone. I don't want to discuss it with people in real life as I don't think they really understand or want to understand.

Hope everyone is ok and their dcs have managed the last week ok. And if not then I hope they are able to recover and rest over the weekend.

ok of course we understand lovely.if you live it,you know

The most important thing to remember is to try and blot out comparison,very hard I know,as it steals away all the wins your child makes as insignificant/well everyone else does x,y,X without so much mental strain

Be kind to yourself,try and do something to "fill your cup" and remember whilst you are listening and advocating what's best for your child(regardless of what other people think) you are being the best mum that they need💖

@Stilllivinginazoo thanks x

Hello everyone,
After being a silent reader for a while, I decided to join this thread for support.
DD16 struggling for the past 2 years. Seems to have low mood and cannot articulate why. Is overweight and had body image issues..unhappy with hair, unhappy with breast size, unhappy with neck everything.
Has been seeing a counsellor and we have now decided to go private.
She had unexpected gcse results after being predicted most 7s and some 8s but luckily passed them all.
This has left her self esteem in bits and she recently took an overdose of paracetamol. Thankfully she told us after a few hours and we got her admitted at A&E.
she is now on CAMHS radar and we have an appointment in a week. Don't know what to expect.
I suspect she has inattentive Adhd. All the symptoms she exhibits like body image issues, struggling with friendships, Dopamine seeking behaviour (some ridiculous behaviour on snapchat).
GP now agrees and thinks she should be assessed for Adhd and autism.
ND also runs in my family..nephews and nieces have it
She is upset as she thinks she is messed up
I worry she is already heading into depression.
Just here for a handhold and to vent and have a supportive group..
Thanks for reading!
Xx