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Original poster

I cant stand the mess and i'm going to snap!!!

178 replies

zephyrcat · 18/11/2004 16:47

Please tell me that mine isnt the only house that looks like a compete shit-hole?!?! I'm sick to death of all the crap everywhere. DD's toys and clothes that she just dumps everywhere. dp's clothes on the floor that he cant be bothered to pick up and wash. No matter how many times i tidy it the house looks awful and its really getting me down. I dread anybody knocking on the door because its too embarassing to open it! I know you cant expect to have a toddler and an immaculate house but surely not this bad??? I dont know anyone else with little ones so i havent had any other experience of it. I've just filled a black bag with a load of toys pens figures and chucked it out and thats only one room!! Do you think it would be cruel to throw it all away? (obviously not all of her stuff!!)

OP posts:
blossomhill · 19/11/2004 21:08

Sometimes you think why do I bother? We bought a lovely, quite expensive, new kitchen table. First mistake being that we had cream fabric chair covers. mmmm. one dinner of spaghetti bolognaise and they are ruined. They have scratched the table and generally ruin everything. They are not unruly, just kids!

stellarmum · 19/11/2004 21:20

just don't do what I did, bagging up loads of dd1s crap she never even looked at and taking it to the dump, only to then visit the dump with her a couple of days later, for her to see it all laid out on display. "ooh look mummy, I've got one of those! And those! And those.....er, mummy...?"

Loobz · 19/11/2004 21:27

Well don't go thinking it will get better as they get older, it doesn't it gets worse!!! I'm off work at moment and I had a colleague visit one lunch time. Went to show him bathroom (we've just had new one fitted and was trying to show off ) and dd's (age 15) room is opposite. Never noticed door was open. Could have died with embarrassment - room was an absolute shit tip. Nearly broke other leg trying to get to room door to shut it. Having more colleagues up for munch next week and my motto is going to be that it's me they're coming to see not my pigsty

Rogue · 19/11/2004 21:37

so glad im not the only one i get told by my mother how OUR house never used to be like mine is now but mind you she had myself and my older sister and we played in our bedrooms....my oldest is 10 and im waiting for the day for her to locate the laundry bin and waste paper basket...anyone want to come for a cuppa just look for the house with the name 'DUMP' on the door (by the way i live n slough) and you will see what i mean...lmao

Loobz · 19/11/2004 21:42

Rogue, don't hold your breath - my eldest still at home is 20 - laundry bin? wastepaper basket? - I'm sure he thinks they are ornaments! I have a friend who has two kids and two dogs and it doesn't matter when you visit her house is immaculate. Dunno what I'm doing wrong and dunno if I care anymore

ernest · 20/11/2004 07:05

my dh's nan said to me "yes, well, we all have our own standards dear" and that was after a whole day's frantic cleaning & tidying for the royal visit

Tickle · 20/11/2004 07:24

lol ernest

beetroot · 20/11/2004 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

skerriesmum · 20/11/2004 10:02

isn't it maddening? women do all of the "invisible" work in the house, constant tidying, filing, tossing STUFF... in our house it's the junk mail, papers, statements etc. Laundry is annoying too, why do socks never match? Our house was actually worse when I worked so I'm dreading going back (next week, aack!) Good luck!

northstar · 20/11/2004 10:05

Sorry to hijack but just read Rogue lives in slough, my mum lives there and i was there 2weeks ago. Wish i could have come for a cup of tea xxx

charliecat · 20/11/2004 10:10

Took me 2 hours yesterday to sort out a kitchen window sill and a shelf...There was 4 inches of paperwork to sort through and a whole kitchen tables worth of clutter. Looks much better now but 2 hours?????

misdee · 20/11/2004 10:14

i spent 2 hours last night folding laundry. cant belive there was that much there!!

i also sorted out my wardrobe and drawers and have a black bag of clothes to go into the loft, heres hoping i fit into them after baby is born. now i have to go and put away dd's clothes, then i can start on the rest of the palce. oh i want a full time cleaner (mine is away for 2 weeks so i am havign to do all the cleaning now, but he only comes in for 2hrs a week, but it hellps so much)

Demented · 20/11/2004 10:16

I know someone who said to her DH that if he continued to leave his stuff on the bedroom floor she was going to wash it in the washing machine, didn't matter what it was. He said yeah, yeah, right and continued to drop his stuff at his feet. He came home one day to find that she had washed his shoes and his wallet ! He was fuming but it sorted him out.

Our house is awful just now, we are rennovating and it has reached crisis point. DS1 has bikes and an old bathroom suite in his room. DS2 up until a week ago had most of the new bathroom in his room and our bedroom is full of tiles. We have the builders in working on the cellar so muck keeps getting trailed into the house from the garden and I can't dry washing outside because of the mess. I have a sofa and armchair in the hallway together with a fireplace, my livingroom is all stripped and there is a big hole in the wall where a fireplace should be and piles of junk everywhere. I have piles of clothes that the children have grown out of that need sorted and put away/charity shopped/ebayed etc but there is that much junk everywhere I can't get into wardrobes and storage boxes to get on with it.

I am all for taking a black bag round particularly when the children aren't there and getting rid of all the MacDonalds type toys (we hardly ever go there and they still seem to have millions of the things) and all the broken stuff, then another bag for the charity shop of all the things they have grown out of. They rarely ever notice anything is missing.

misdee · 20/11/2004 10:18

oh gawd. i sorted thro all the dd's toys the other week, and threw laods out, charity shopped some, put some away or the baby, but still they have loads. this is really bugging me. must go do houseowrk.

Demented · 20/11/2004 10:20

A vote for a cleaner here too. We have one who comes for three hours a week and it makes a difference, because we want to get the most from her it makes us tidy up before she arrives so all she has to do is cleaning although I think she is a bit hacked off at the state of our house at the moment she is a real clean and tidy freak (she has no children ).

jarmat · 20/11/2004 10:23

Hi

I feel like I can clean all morning, have the house looking respectable and in a matter of time it looks like a tip again !!! I also walk into other peoples houses and find they are immaculate and wonder how they do it!

I have gone through all their little things today and given them away, i'm sure only to have to box filled up again with christmas coming!!

tallulah · 20/11/2004 11:14

So glad to read that there are other people like me! DS2s friend came to stay & when his mum picked him up he wasn't ready so I had to ask her in. Her face as she walked in the kitchen said it all I think she actually said something about the mess & I was mortified.

Doesn't help that DH has been fitting bathrooms for 4 months now, & as fast as I clear an area he chooses to dump all the stuff from somewhere else in it. Now he's started laying laminate in the hall but didn't clear up before he started & just checked everything on the stairs & piled the laminate & underlay in our very small kitchen in front of the cupboards & oven. Now we're all doing this dosedoh to get breakfast.

krisked- I'm with you on the stairs!!! What washing? Didn't see it.

I don't even have the toddler excuse for our mess Just 3 hulking teenage boys & a DH.

tallulah · 20/11/2004 11:16

should be 'chucked' of course, not checked (previewed & missed it!)

Loobz · 20/11/2004 14:23

Huh, the curse of Diy dh's! They should be strung up - they're as bad if not worse than the kids. Mind you, mine is working away at the moment and the place is still a tip. Dh's problem is that he starts jobs then goes and starts other one's before he finshes the first - so infuriating . We had a minor miracle in here last night - dd (age 15) used the hoover! Glad I was sitting down - might have collapsed with shock otherwise. She said she wanted to help because my leg is in plaster. Wonder if I oculd arrange to have a plaster cast that I could put on when I want things done?! Then again - maybe not

MarsLady · 20/11/2004 14:29

beetroot if you can work your magic in mine I'll love you forever. As fast as I get one bit done the next needs doing and the blooming kids see a space and fill it. lol Good job I'm not proud

tallulah · 21/11/2004 10:26

Loobz, we don't have the same DH do we? Mine never finishes one job before starting the next, so we always have bits of unfinished projects everywhere.

Loobz · 21/11/2004 10:59

Tallulah, You have just cheered me up I didn't think there could be another like mine - maybe they're related!!! I've warned him that if he even talks about starting any more jobs before Christmas that I will not be responsible for my actions. I think it's a bit unlikely that he will start anything as he's working away from home at the moment and only coming home every fortnight. I am off work at the moment with my leg in plaster and have finished grouting tiles in the bathroom in the faint hope that I will be able to use my new shower (which he didn't fit!!!) when my plaster comes off! Of course I haven't told him that I have finished the tiles - It will be a nice surprise for him when he comes home next weekend - especially when he notices that I have made a much neater job than he would have done

Loobz · 21/11/2004 13:46

I'm not so blooming cheery now! Dd is cleaning her room but has brought a load of plates, cups, glasses. etc and has just dumped them in the kitchen.........aaarrggghhh!!! And thats to say nothing of the pile of clothes that are sure to follow despite asking her this morning if she had any clothes for the wash! I think I am just destined to live in a pigsty. Oh sod it - I am away to make tea and read the papers - mess will stillbe there when I am finished I daresay!

handlemecarefully · 22/11/2004 08:53

Just skimmed this - but just to say that my house would be an unholy mess and a tip (a 2.4 yr old and a 7 month old), if it wasn't for the fact that I clean it from 8pm to 10 pm every night....and tbh I bitterly resent having to do this, but can't bear the mess.

Not suggesting that you do the same, just expressing solidarity!

Gilli · 22/11/2004 20:22

Right, everyone! Pay attention if you have children older than 5 and mess is a problem. Do as I did and no bottling out. Step 1: Fill Large binliner with all rubbish found lying around, including sportskit, homework, toys, CDs etc).Show children large black binliner at teatime. Tell children that anything without a home at bedtime (a home not being back on the floor) will be thrown out at 11pm. Step 2: Mean it. Wait for cries of anguish to die down and wait for children to half empty bag. Throw out other half at 11pm. Mean it! Tell children that ANYTHING found lieing on floors etc from now on will go out. Mean it. It's harsh but it works. I only ever had to do it once. My view is that if they've driven me to breaking point they need to now it, and this way was safer than any other I might have chosen!