Woke up to a panic attack because I am supposed to go to primark tomorrow

[ecoanxiety]

Background
For years I have been terrified of the effects of climate change. There has been increased flooding in my area that past 10 years and I have recently moved house to what is essentially the bottom of a bowl. Surrounded by 4 very big hills (built up not countryside) and there is due to be another massive housing estate (300 ish houses) to be built between the existing houses on one hill.
I am SO worried about flooding. the excess run off from having this many extra houses (plus the loss of mature trees)
a few members of the community and a local MP run workshops for people worried about the increased flooding. Its a real threat not just my anxiety.

Anyway to battle my anxiety about this I have made lifestyle changes to become eco friendly. No car, grow food, plant a couple of trees, compost, second hand everything... you know. Make my little changes to keep myself feeling in control.

I avoid going into the city centre. I can't stand it. The shops are just full of new things. fast fashion plastic toys
waste waste waste.
I have a panic attack every time and haven't been in years because it makes me realise that my efforts (significant efforts. my life is based around my eco footprints)
I woke up just and I feel the flight or fight feeling. its not stopping.
My sister is going to primark to get the same cheap shit she goes for every time (just more shoes and black clothes for work. its the Samuel vimes story for real) and its just making me feel so scared for my future, my children's future, my families future.
I can't fucking deal with it.
I've
already been sectioned for suicidal feelings and I have a serious worry that I will be again because I have a family history of a mental health condition (a big well known one) and suicide. we are counting 3 dead family members. and lots of attempts by others.

GP is useless. the problem is I feel threatened by climate change. GP can't sort that out for me. I don't know what I can do.
anyone feel similar? I fucking can't live like this i feel hunted.

I moved here because I was moving from a really bad estate where knife crime was on the rise and drug dealers and junkies were a daily occurance. This also helped mask my eco anxiety somewhat as a teen stabbing was a different kind of threat but we were saving for a house to move and that would have saved us.
now we have moved the climate change problem is my only problem and no matter how much I save I can't 'move' from that problem

Some of us can’t afford anything other than the ‘cheap shit’. Is your sister in the same position?

I’m really sorry to hear about your mental health that sounds really hard. Anxiety is terrible to deal with and I really feel for you. But to judge everyone else so harshly for their actions knowing nothing about their circumstances is very unreasonable.

I don't have alot of advice really but didn't want to read and run. I am worried about the environment too and also find that doing what I can helps me feel a bit more in control. We can't control other people though, and we need to let go of what we can't control.
That said I do think more people are opening their eyes to it to make better choices and new innovations are coming out all the time to be more eco friendly. I am hoping the tide is turning, slowly.

Are you taking medication for the anxiety? I understand how crippling it can be, particularly if the trigger is climate change fears which certainly isn’t something you personally can change on your own. Medication won’t make the issues disappear but would help you cope with it.

You need to speak to gp and ask for help. It’s understandable to be worried about the climate/environment but this is extreme and you need help. If your gp isn’t helping then ask to see another one. Are you on meds or do you have a therapist?

IME you have to try to take control of it. The more changes you personally make, the more control you have and the better you will feel. I’d step up your efforts with eco friendly things. It sounds like you’ve done a few things but there will be loads more you can do.

This might not be the medically approved view but it helps me

It's normal to worry but not to the extent that you are experiencing. Have you looked into private counselling, do you take any medication? Suicidal thoughts and panic attacks are not normal reactions to the idea of climate change.

Is it possible to move away? It seems your fear and anxiety are fuelled by your location.

Be proud of having a hard-working sister and don't judge her on where she buys work clothes from. You probably realise that's unfair.

yeah she is its literally the story of the man who can't afford £10 boots so has to pay for 10 pairs of £3 boots
its just fucking annoying. she saves me all of her food waste to compost and doesn't drive and other things to help me feel better (seriously) but you just can't escape it. she needs shoes for work and primark is where she can afford.
I know my sisters circumstances very well and it's just not fair.

I was supposed to go with her we were going to make a day of it and id just power through my feeling but I can't.

I used to live somewhere that was prone to a certain type of natural disaster. The relief of moving away was indescribable.

You need help for your anxiety.
I agree on doing our bit for the environment and I do all the things you do other than getting rid of my car (im rural, no public transport). But you can’t decide what others do and you can’t judge what they buy. Some can only afford to shop in primark, some can only afford £10 for shoes whilst other can afford £100 for a pair that will last years. These things are out of your control and not worth getting anxious about.

I go to primark with my friend, I look but rarely buy anything but I don’t moan at her for choosing to shop there because it’s all she can afford.

@cloudtree

IME you have to try to take control of it. The more changes you personally make, the more control you have and the better you will feel. I’d step up your efforts with eco friendly things. It sounds like you’ve done a few things but there will be loads more you can do.

This might not be the medically approved view but it helps me

I have stepped up we got an allotment and all of our money goes to trying to empty our bins. But there's nothing else to do. I can't afford to shop zero waste. I don't know how I can realistically do more Nd even if I did I can't compete with even one days worth of waste primark makes. and then you have primark cares just green washing green washing pretend they care but they still make loads of shit. every day. on slave labour and the planets dying but they are still going.

I know what you're saying. it usually helps me

we got an allotment plot nearly 3 years ago and that helped massively. but the threat is still there.

I'm not going to take medication. I fried it.
there is a risk with anti depressants that they give you enough of a boost to actually try to commit suicide and thats what happened to me. I'm not doing that again. I don't want to die, so I'm not even going to entertain it. plus they come in blister packs. plastic. I couldn't anyway

I'm not upset with my sister for shopping in primark by the way, I'm upset with massive fast fashion companies and all other massive corporations fucking up the world.

me and my sister are in the same boat

she is welcome to her life style op
you can use charity shops
what shoes would you prefer she buys?

OP it sounds like you maybe suffering from OCD due to your anxiety, do speak to your GP, it doesn’t have to mean antidepressants, I understand why you don’t want to take them, I have been there myself but there are other anxiety drugs and talk therapy.

Your anxiety about this is abnormal and should not be encouraged by other posters saying you should do more eco things or move house

Sounds like you have severe anxiety with a risk of it escalating further. The problem with mental health issues like this means you'll focus all the anxiety on one thing, in some people that might be safety of their loved ones ( mine!) or obsess over healthy eating etc...

It's great to be eco friendly and have a conscience about waste, but this ideology is literally ruining your life and also sounds like your relationship with family

I would hate to get to the end of my life and regret how much energy I spent trying to satisfy my anxiety. You need help with your mental health, make that your focus

You can't save the world but you can save your own life

Primark and your sister are totally irrelevant here.

You need help for your MH. That's what today needs to be spent focusing on. Nothing else.

OK. You know its your anxiety fuelling this response which is good, and you also know that climate change as a whole is far too big for you to solve on your own, which is causing massive overwhelm.

Instead of zero-ing in on the individual things other people do that are negative, take a step back and flip it and focus on something that they or you can do to offset the negative. So your sister offsets buying cheap necessities for work with saving her food for you to compost and not driving. Perhaps if you were in her position and couldn't afford to spend big money on things you needed for work, you could give your old stuff to a charity shop or repurpose your old clothes into dishcloths so they didn't go to landfill.

I've been there, spiralling with anxiety and that out of control feeling. It really helped to "counteract" a negative feeling by doing something positive.

Longer term though, you sound like you need medication and counselling, and it sounds like you may need to push your GP hard.

You need to speak to your GP again, and make sure you spell out very clearly your concerns about suicidal thoughts. The right medication at the right dose will absolutely take the edge of this and make it manageable for you. Think of it this way-you can't be making any positive environmental changes while you're battling with your mental health like this xxx

Your anxiety about this is abnormal and should not be encouraged by other posters saying you should do more eco things or move house

I’m
Not encouraging the anxiety ffs, I’m saying that it’s a control thing for me and the more I do, the more control I have and the better I feel. My advice was actually to take medication.

I’m sorry but you need help. You are going way over the top. It’s normal to worry but not to the extent you are. You can’t save the world but you can do your own contributions. Don’t judge other people. Focus on your own actions and seek help for your anxiety and depression before it gets worse. Your kids need you they don’t need you being sectioned

I'm not ragging on my sister for going to primark. the problem is I haven't been in years because I avoided it and she asked me to go tomorrow. I said yes thinking I could get through it but for all these reasons I don't want to go.
this isn't a case of a rich person saying their poor mate is bad because they go to primark. its a case of one person worried about climate change despite knowing all the things that me and my sister do to 'offset'
you can't offset primark or lidl or waistrose or Coca-Cola.
its like I just realised my lifes mission is pointless because I'm an ant.

and I can't go to my gp. its not that bad but I've had intervention and intervention doesn't work. The threat is real and a trip up town just rekindled the fire I've spent years damping down

@cloudtree

Your anxiety about this is abnormal and should not be encouraged by other posters saying you should do more eco things or move house

I’m
Not encouraging the anxiety ffs, I’m saying that it’s a control thing for me and the more I do, the more control I have and the better I feel. My advice was actually to take medication.

And yet you fail to recognise this poster is experiencing a mental health crisis

Feeling like you have control by putting in all of your measures will be a short lived relief. When the picture changes, you keep having to adjust, to keep the feeling of control again. It's OCD and the desire shouldn't be to indulge it but to overcome it by recognising the need to have control over something so severely is not conducive to a healthy life

Better to resolve the root cause then paper over the cracks

@ecoanxiety get yourself to your GP. Stop making excuses and saying you can't go, it's not that bad. Yes it is! You're mental health isn't just affecting you, it's affecting those around you. Not getting help, when this is happening, is just downright selfish. Sort it out.

Sorry I feel like I'm getting defensive and trying to prove myself.
I appreciate the responses but I've had experience and I'm not near suicidal feelings at the moment.
or the need for medication.

I just feel powerless against climate change and have felt suicidal about it in the past and I'm worried that the trip today will enhance those feelings and push me down again.

also I only just moved its only a 20 minute walk from my old address but its just far enough out of the way that the junkies and teen gangs don't bother us. Moving again isn't an option. I didn't realise just how low we were until I saw the workshop about the flooding and thought 'fuck what have I done'
I knew about rhe flooding previously because I live here anyway but its just hit me now I'm closer to it. I was up the hill before