Woke up to a panic attack because I am supposed to go to primark tomorrow

[ecoanxiety]

Background
For years I have been terrified of the effects of climate change. There has been increased flooding in my area that past 10 years and I have recently moved house to what is essentially the bottom of a bowl. Surrounded by 4 very big hills (built up not countryside) and there is due to be another massive housing estate (300 ish houses) to be built between the existing houses on one hill.
I am SO worried about flooding. the excess run off from having this many extra houses (plus the loss of mature trees)
a few members of the community and a local MP run workshops for people worried about the increased flooding. Its a real threat not just my anxiety.

Anyway to battle my anxiety about this I have made lifestyle changes to become eco friendly. No car, grow food, plant a couple of trees, compost, second hand everything... you know. Make my little changes to keep myself feeling in control.

I avoid going into the city centre. I can't stand it. The shops are just full of new things. fast fashion plastic toys
waste waste waste.
I have a panic attack every time and haven't been in years because it makes me realise that my efforts (significant efforts. my life is based around my eco footprints)
I woke up just and I feel the flight or fight feeling. its not stopping.
My sister is going to primark to get the same cheap shit she goes for every time (just more shoes and black clothes for work. its the Samuel vimes story for real) and its just making me feel so scared for my future, my children's future, my families future.
I can't fucking deal with it.
I've
already been sectioned for suicidal feelings and I have a serious worry that I will be again because I have a family history of a mental health condition (a big well known one) and suicide. we are counting 3 dead family members. and lots of attempts by others.

GP is useless. the problem is I feel threatened by climate change. GP can't sort that out for me. I don't know what I can do.
anyone feel similar? I fucking can't live like this i feel hunted.

Ask your Dr to put you on the list for counselling OP, don’t let them keep fobbing you off. See if there’s any groups online that have similar interests to yourself, so this would become more of a healthy interest that you have rather than an obsession that takes over your life. I don’t mean to be unkind & it’s easier said than done, but you don’t have to think about this all the time you know.

www.terracycle.com/en-GB/brigades/medicine-packet-uk

They take any brand of medicine blister packaging, you just drop it off at a participating Superdrug store.

@cloudtree

I'm sorry I upset you. Sounds like you are struggling with your own issues.

If you feel your GP cannot help you then contact your local crisis team. I presume you can self refer. They will offer a crisis assessment and work with you to find the right medication and recommend other help based on your diagnosis

Get a grip. Maybe read about climate data modelling (it's like covid modelling - basically scientists trying to predict the future with incredibly mixed results) to reassure yourself. Separate the climate issues one from another (warming, ozone layer, waste, supply chains, labour, green production) and identify what the real and imminent threat is (contrary to Greta - there isn't one. The planet is absorbing the impact of human activity pretty well on the whole). The real issues tend to be localised activity, eg polluting the Yangtze River, deforestation in Brazil which is down to those governments to sort out and which charities have been campaigning against for years). The world is not going to end tomorrow, or in fifty years or, controversial I know, in two hundred years, because people bought some t-shirts. Let's do what we can but enough with the ecodoom (and the ecohypocrisy, but that's another story).

OP I have suffered anxiety in the past so know how readful it can be- you have my sympathy.
The concenerns that you feel for te planet are real but they way you are deaing with these concerns is unhealthy and exaggerated- that's what anxiety does.
Some degee of anxiety is needed to keep us alive, otherwise we would be crossing v=busy roads without looking, swimming into rip tides and taking dangerous risks.
But anxiety feelings can be exaggerated to such an extent that we are constantly on high alert, which is distressing, unhealthy and not good for the body.
I undertstand your concern for our planet, and you have taken a lot of steps to make your own life greener.
However I think that there is only so much individuals can do. It is systems that need to change, government, big businesses- change needs to come n two directions- from the bottom up and the top down.
You feel powerless to help anymore changes happen, but if you are motivated to do more you will be of more use if you attend to your own needs first. You can't give from an empty cup and you sound depleted.
This is the thing that needs attention if you want to help yourself, and continue your efforts.
There are many global, UK and local charities, pressure groups, NGOs that are doig great work to push fo political and environmental change. If you feel you have done all you can personally you can join with others and use your group energy to effect change.
But you need to heal yourself before you can heal others, or help heal the planet.
You will be able to give so much more if you act from a place of personal strength and stability.
There are lots of ways to ease anxiety without medication, find what works for you. For me it is daily yoga practice, meditation, getting lots of sleep, recognising when my anxiety is building, and stopping to do 5 minutes of CBT or beath work.
Many organisiations would love your help, you could start a blog, join online grous, become active locally, but acting from a place of calm means your efforts will have more impact.
And remember we can only do what we can do. Learning to do our best and stepping back is a healthy life practice.

For what it is worth I think we will pull back from the brink, and it will happen very fast- and vey soon.
www.ecoliteracy.org/article/great-turning

Go to your GP

Also OP, maybe post on the mental health board rather than AIBU. This isn’t an AIBU question and you just invite people to challenge you, sometimes in abrupt and unkind ways, without understanding the issues at hand for you.

Well done OP on all the significant actions you are taking, it's something you should feel really good about.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have climate anxiety, sometimes to the point where I find it debilitating. There have been times when I genuinely need to buy a new object (think nessessitity like mop, broom, etc) yet i find myself getting fixated on the 'greenest' option, the waste, how, many already exist, etc, to the point where I just cannot make the purchase. Its maddening.

Do you have any like minded friends you can talk to about this? I've found its a massive relief to know that others have the same thought processes and worries. It's a serious subject, but sometimes it helps to laugh at ourselves and how we are coping.

If not, there are so many who share your feelings of eco-anxiety /climate grief. Would joining a local or virtual group help?

But I echo what others say, your mental health needs to come first. I say fuck Primark. Don't go if you don't want to, or agree to meet after, whatever works best for you. Put yourself first in this case, you sound a lovely thoughtful person.

There is growing recognition of eco anxiety and it’s most commonly experienced by the young. I think finding a psychologist who knows about it or is willing to learn about it might help. A lot of psychological therapy these days focuses on accepting a situation and trying to live a valued life alongside it so my guess that’s the approach which might work.

If you think you are currently at risk of harming yourself you need to talk to gp/call 111/go to a and e in the short term while you find some support.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2667278221000444

Just don't go. Why do you need to go? If it was a trigger of mine, I'd never go there. I agree with you, the way businesses assault this planet, and its humans/animals is unreal.

@Dreambigger

I'm thinking that if you are experiencing serious OCD and intrusive thoughts and your focus is on climate change but could easily be something different. Your reactions are very extreme and like everyone else here I would be really concerned about your mental health. You must get help. Go to the GP. Its so much about the climate as it us about the thoughts and feelings you are having.

This.

If it wasn't climate change and flooding it would be something else like extreme cleaning. Please get MH support. Specifically say intrusive thoughts. It's causing you a lot of distress and you're now not able to enjoy your everyday life because the intrusive thoughts are dominating your life. There is help available, start with CBT which is available on the NHS.

The trouble with anxiety is that once you ‘solve’ the thing you are obsessing about, you’ll find another thing to obsess about

Was coming on to say this actually. When I had bad anxiety I'd focus on one thing and think to myself once that's sorted out, I'll be fine but I wasn't because I'd just focus on something else.

I hope you get some help soon op

In terms of the medication I have a friend who used to take Prozac as a liquid medication in glass bottles because she couldn’t swallow pills. There may be the option of a medication that doesn’t come in blister packs.

I appreciate the medication you were on last time made you feel worse, but if you try a different medication it won’t necessarily have the same effect. Alternatively as usually the intense side effects (including the making you feel worse) usually subside within 2 weeks of starting medication, can you start the medication at a time you are off work and have somebody to look after you? That’s what I did when I started Sertraline, I went to stay with a friend and told her how I felt and together were made sure I wasn’t in a position to act on anything I felt. After about 10 days the intense suicidal feelings and other side effects passed and I felt much better for taking the sertraline within a couple of months.

If it helps at all, there is loads of stuff in primark now that's made of recycled plastic. I just got a few pairs of lovely soft pyjamas there that are. I don't think that's going to help much and really you should try some medication tbh.

Sorry to hear you feel like that. I agree with others that you need some help for extreme anxiety.

Great link @MaryGubbins thanks for sharing! Lots of further links to other articles in the references at the end of the article as well.

OP I found “psychoeducation” a really helpful tool in managing my mental health - reading academic articles/journals/even textbooks about the conditions I have and related matters, understanding them in a slightly abstract and impersonal way, was a really useful thing for me.

I Understand how you feel op
Sometimes you feel better with a head in the sand

I can’t think about it directly myself

I
Would say try a new ssri, there are thousands out there. You need to look after yourself

My DH is on Citalopram and has had no problems with it, he’s on it for life.
I know we’re all different, but he would recommend it.

It sounds like your anxiety is something that would exist, even if climate change weren’t an issue. Of course you are genuinely concerned about it (as we all should be), but it has become the sole focus of all your anxious feelings. If it didn’t exist or was solved, you would probably shift those feelings to another worry or cause. I go through periods of general anxiety and I’ve noticed that if I’m fretting about something like a health concern that turns out to be nothing, I almost always find something else to fret about - and it becomes hugely exaggerated in my mind. And so it goes on.
I know you don’t want to take drugs but there must be talking therapies available and so on that would help you address the root cause of your feelings and find ways to start changing your response to them. Wishing you all the best.

Op I totally get the anxiety about where you live. Can you make a plan to move within a few years? I’d have anxiety about living there too!

It sounds like you need a trip to the GP for help with anxiety. You are right to be concerned about the environment and action is needed, but this level of concern is not healthy for you.

I’m the short term - look up toxicmillenial on tiktok, she’s got a series on sustainable swaps at Primark. Might help make things less black and white and easier for your shopping trip.

You absolutely are at the stage of needing intervention and medication. It's very telling that you are so convinced you aren't. You are not well. I have bipolar OP, I know what it's like to have spiralling worries, obsessions and intrusive thoughts. I wouldn't be able to function without my medication that I take every single day. It may be a case of finding the right one but you most certainly need some intervention at this point.

I voted YANBU because I totally understand.

I don't see you as raging against your sister more against what feels like an overwhelming tide of materialism. I can turn myself inside out worrying about ethical and eco choices which makes my anxiety worse and stops me making decisions at all! It's exhausting.

My anxiety is worse at this time of year and you have reminded me I need to take some steps (vitamins/walking in my case) to help this.

I have obsessed about Brexit fall out/Covid/climate change/the Cold War (back in the day) amongst other things. I agree with others who have said that as soon as you stop one worry another one takes over.

I don't have any answers just a lot of sympathy.