Woke up to a panic attack because I am supposed to go to primark tomorrow

[ecoanxiety]

Background
For years I have been terrified of the effects of climate change. There has been increased flooding in my area that past 10 years and I have recently moved house to what is essentially the bottom of a bowl. Surrounded by 4 very big hills (built up not countryside) and there is due to be another massive housing estate (300 ish houses) to be built between the existing houses on one hill.
I am SO worried about flooding. the excess run off from having this many extra houses (plus the loss of mature trees)
a few members of the community and a local MP run workshops for people worried about the increased flooding. Its a real threat not just my anxiety.

Anyway to battle my anxiety about this I have made lifestyle changes to become eco friendly. No car, grow food, plant a couple of trees, compost, second hand everything... you know. Make my little changes to keep myself feeling in control.

I avoid going into the city centre. I can't stand it. The shops are just full of new things. fast fashion plastic toys
waste waste waste.
I have a panic attack every time and haven't been in years because it makes me realise that my efforts (significant efforts. my life is based around my eco footprints)
I woke up just and I feel the flight or fight feeling. its not stopping.
My sister is going to primark to get the same cheap shit she goes for every time (just more shoes and black clothes for work. its the Samuel vimes story for real) and its just making me feel so scared for my future, my children's future, my families future.
I can't fucking deal with it.
I've
already been sectioned for suicidal feelings and I have a serious worry that I will be again because I have a family history of a mental health condition (a big well known one) and suicide. we are counting 3 dead family members. and lots of attempts by others.

GP is useless. the problem is I feel threatened by climate change. GP can't sort that out for me. I don't know what I can do.
anyone feel similar? I fucking can't live like this i feel hunted.

To be honest it sounds like an anxiety disorder that’s been triggered more by the flooding issue than anything, to me. If you lived somewhere else it would be fire risk or tornado risk or whatever.

Does your sister literally choose not to drive in an attempt to help your anxiety? That is extreme IMO and shows that she must be considerably worried about you. What does your DH think?

For today, just don’t go to Primark? Is there something you can do that you find calming while you sister buys the things she needs from Primark and then you meet her afterwards? Take a walk round a park? Go and browse a library or a free entry museum or art gallery? Have a coffee in a café?
Longer term, you need to find more ways to control your anxiety. What totally unrelated activities do you find calming? Do you like hiking? Or swimming? Time working on your allotment? It might not fit in so well with your preference to avoid driving, but it sounds to me like you might prefer a more rural setting with a garden you can cultivate where you feel less like a powerless ant with no control over your immediate environment.

As others have said this really isn’t about Primark, it could be Asda or IKEA but really it’s about you and your mental health and your not seeking help

I live with 3 others DH DD and DS all who are like you to greater or lesser extent, DH’s anxiety has lead to 2 suicide attempts when he’s disguised his spiralling anxiety so I really do get it

Your family must be really worried about you, please open up and allow them to get you help, there are charities if you won’t see the doctor, private therapists and I’m sure you probably have a mental health team around you

It must seem overwhelming right now and that’s because you’re spiralling, only you can choose whether it’s going to be a crash and burn and they section you or you take control and seek help. If not for yourself but the family around you who very obviously care please make it the latter because it’s truly soul destroying watching a loved one in the spiral

OP what helps me when I think about how the world is being totally ruined and feeling I am too insignificant to really have any impact on it is to remember that actually in the grand scheme of things the Earth is pretty insignificant too. The universe is vast on a scale that is almost impossible to comprehend, (and that's just the observable universe) it's fucking tragic that we've messed up this planet but it's literally just a tiny spec in space. If we were to completely ruin this planet it would have no impact on the universe. Our existence is meaningless to the universe. At some point the Earth as we know it will not exist, the sun will burn out or a huge asteroid will hit or a super volcano will blow or some other disaster will happen that wipes everything out (and that we're not to blame for) either forever or resets us back to nearer the beginning of the evolutionary process. It could happen in 500 years it could happen in a million years.....it makes no difference to the universe which just keeps doing what it does, evolving and imploding.

If you put 'The True Size Of The Universe As We Know It' into youtube there is a brilliant video to show just how tiny and insignificant the Earth actually is.

PS have you been assessed for and if so are you getting help for the big well known mental health condition that runs in your family? If it's bipolar disorder (for example) and you don't want to take medicine then DBT might help. You can't go on living like this though OP you deserve some happiness and peace.

You have a severe anxiety disorder-my son has the same-he has to take medication-I’m not going to bother talking about climate change

The only way you will cope with a fairly normal existence is to take medication and until then if you choose to feel like this and live in a constant state of fear and anxiety

with no feeling of ever getting better-that’s your choice

Both my DS and Dd HAVE to be medicated to cope.Their father had exactly same issues except he chose to become an alcoholic to cope rather than go to gp for help.As soon as DD goes off medication her anxiety comes back and rules her life-just like it’s ruling yours

Go back to GP-they will help you through the first couple of weeks as they know for SOME people anxiety can get worse before it gets better.

All if your ‘thoughts if climate change’ is driven by your anxiety-I do my bit-but it’s not about making myself so irrational that I can’t lead a normal existence

@Mollymalone123

You have a severe anxiety disorder-my son has the same-he has to take medication-I’m not going to bother talking about climate change

The only way you will cope with a fairly normal existence is to take medication and until then if you choose to feel like this and live in a constant state of fear and anxiety

with no feeling of ever getting better-that’s your choice

Both my DS and Dd HAVE to be medicated to cope.Their father had exactly same issues except he chose to become an alcoholic to cope rather than go to gp for help.As soon as DD goes off medication her anxiety comes back and rules her life-just like it’s ruling yours

Go back to GP-they will help you through the first couple of weeks as they know for SOME people anxiety can get worse before it gets better.

All if your ‘thoughts if climate change’ is driven by your anxiety-I do my bit-but it’s not about making myself so irrational that I can’t lead a normal existence

You can't possibly diagnose the OP over the internet on the very limited info there is even if you are a qualified doctor or psychologist.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor
No I know I can’t ~should have worded like everyone else has more or less in this thread- that we believe it’s severe anxiety because either we have children suffering from it or others have or other poster said bipolar-
Just want the op to realise they need help

How did it go OP? Hope you’re doing ok