Have recently realised I have ADHD

[Sorchamarie]

Has any one else realised as an adult woman that you have ADHD? I recently have come to that rather startling realisation myself, although I haven't fully accepted it yet, so obviously haven't started down the path to diagnosis, if I ever do. But it would be good to talk to anyone else how might have gone, or be going through this process of realisation as well. I do have one friend with ADHD, but I don't want to burden her too much with all my rambling insights as they come up!

You are not alone op. I also think I have it. It was a shock at first but so much now makes sense

I also think I may have ADHD. I have OCD & social anxiety which are both well controlled currently. ADHD makes a lot of sense for me. I too have not even started towards a diagnosis or even spoke about it to anyone because I feel like I'd be told not to be ridiculous!

Can I just point out that ADHD is not a mental health issue or disorder, it means you are neuro-diverse. It drives me to distraction.

Don't self-diagnose, see a professional: Google is no replacement for clinical accuracy.

I sometimes wonder
But I haven't always been like this, certainly not as a child or teen

I really hate multi tasking though

And I've just seen this very short clip that sums up how I feel when doing it

This is where I am too. I spoke to my doctor who agreed to refer me. But I said I might go private, so he didnt send off and now I have sat on it doh! I'm not sure what the point of knowing is honestly apart from I do wonder if the drugs would help me day to day.

Yes, have just started assessment at nearly 50.

I sort-of realised it a decade or so ago, then didn’t think about it for a long time, then saw some ADHD threads on Mumsnet and recognised myself. When I think back over my life there’s so many little things that seem obvious now! I always knew people found me a bit weird but I thought I was normal-weird (by which I mean, I thought everyone thought pretty much like me but they’d been socialised into normality better than I had). But it obviously makes more sense that people find me a bit weird because I am actually a bit different .

I’m having private assessment now. Even if the assessment is no, I think the coping strategies I am learning about through reading more about ADHD will help me manage day to day life.

Me! I have recently (in the past couple of months) come to the realisation that I probably have ADHD after reading a thread about it on here. Reading about the symptoms of ADHD for an adult woman hit me immediately as an exact study of myself! Suddenly it felt like everything that I've struggled with over the years made sense. My brother also has ADHD (diagnosed as a child) and there often is a family link.

Have I done anything about it? No, not yet....

Will I get round to doing something about it? Possibly... one day...

Oh, and I can totally multitask. My challenge is making myself focus on just one important task and finish it rather than doing tiny bits on about 27 things simultaneously and finishing none of them.

Yep! Feb this year at almost 40. Hit me square in the face when I read another woman's account of her ADHD on here.

Got a private diagnosis and now medicated. I feel amazing, like how I was meant to be after feeling lost my whole life. Good luck with your journey!

@Puffalicious

Can I just point out that ADHD is not a mental health issue or disorder, it means you are neuro-diverse. It drives me to distraction.

Don't self-diagnose, see a professional: Google is no replacement for clinical accuracy.

"The most common psychiatric comorbidities that co-occur with ADHD in adults are depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, SUDs and personality disorders".

My daughter's depression, anxiety and BPD are comorbid with her ADHD.

@Puffalicious like many of us my dc is being dx at the moment. I’m hardly just googling and deciding I have it!

Oh wow, so many replies! I had a feeling I wouldn't be alone here on Mumsnet. It's really, really nice not to be alone in this, although I'm sorry for anyone on this thread who has struggled to cope as neuro diverse in a neuro typical world. 😊 I have been reading a lot and it is really shocking just how undiagnosed ADHD is for women!

@Sorchamarie

Oh wow, so many replies! I had a feeling I wouldn't be alone here on Mumsnet. It's really, really nice not to be alone in this, although I'm sorry for anyone on this thread who has struggled to cope as neuro diverse in a neuro typical world. 😊 I have been reading a lot and it is really shocking just how undiagnosed ADHD is for women!

My JOB is working with ADHD learners and I utterly missed it with my own daughter. It typically presents so much differently in girls and I'm just glad it was discovered before she was an adult. If you are diagnosed it will really help you understand about yourself and why you do the things you do the way you do them!

I'm sorry to hear that justjustwhy but ADHD as a diagnosis is not a mental health condition. This is where confusion lies which leads the public as a whole to label my DS as having mental health issues when he doesn't: he has ADHD, ASD and epilepsy. His brain works differently: he doesn't have a chemical imbalance, it's hard-wired into him from birth, just as other people were born with an issue with a leg/ arm/ finger.

It's an important distinction. I do hope your DC gets the support she needs.

@Puffalicious who had said it’s a mental health dx?

[quote MissHavershamReturns]@Puffalicious who had said it’s a mental health dx?[/quote]
The OP has opened the thread in under Mental Health! Reflective of how many see it.

Nah I think it's fair enough to post it under mental health. I was diagnosed this year (at the age of 35). Yes, it is a neurodiversity, but it has had huge and far-reaching effects on my mental health throughout my life. For me, it co-exists with GAD. It has been a revelation to be diagnosed.

Could anyone link to any of the previous threads referred to? I really identify with this!

I wrote a reply to you, Puffalicious, but it hasn't posted. I'm happy for your son that his ADHD does not affect his mental health, but for me, who is grabbing with anxiety, depression, extreme self esteem issues, such a strong fear of rejection that I've sworn off all romantic relationships for the rest of my life, and also a eating disorder that I've had for nearly 30 years, my struggles with being neuro diverse in a neuro typical world, very much are a mental health issue.

Yes 😬
My 18 year old dd is chasing a ADHD diagnosis (she already has a diagnosis of Aspergers), looking at the list of traits together we have both realised that I have it. I always thought I might be on the autistic spectrum like dd but it seems most of my traits are ADHD traits rather than ASD. My memory and concentration are awful, I struggle to sit still, I fidget a lot and I often zone out (school was awful). I’m not sure I’m bothered about getting a diagnosis, I’m not sure it will help now I’m 40.

Also, I was hoping the mental health section might be a safer space on Mumsnet to post without getting too bruised by any of the replies (extreme sensitivity to criticism being another of my traits!)
Anyway, I so appreciate everyone sharing their stories and thoughts. I'm finding it super helpful as I try to make all the connections in my brain to accept that this is probably what I've being trying to figure out all my life - what is different about me from so many others, and why have I made the life choices I have made. In many cases, I've been chasing the dopamine!

Does anyone have any recommandations of where to go for à private assessment in London?

@Puffalicious I think it’s ok for op to start it there. Eg eating disorders often affect women with asd, but eating disorders aren’t part of asd. You wouldn’t tell someone off for posting to ask for support for dx for if they may have asd in connection with mh in that context would you?

I have anxiety, so often comorbid with adhd

@Puffalicious

I'm sorry to hear that justjustwhy but ADHD as a diagnosis is not a mental health condition. This is where confusion lies which leads the public as a whole to label my DS as having mental health issues when he doesn't: he has ADHD, ASD and epilepsy. His brain works differently: he doesn't have a chemical imbalance, it's hard-wired into him from birth, just as other people were born with an issue with a leg/ arm/ finger.

It's an important distinction. I do hope your DC gets the support she needs.

Thank you @Puffalicious (and no offence taken!) I agree that ADHD is not a mental health condition and nor is ASD. However I would say that, particularly when undiagnosed, the effects of those conditions and trying to understand and manage them can lead to MH issues - in large numbers of cases. My daughter realises, now that she's a young adult, that the way she reacted and dealt with situations in her terribly sad teenage years was due to her ADHD and now that she is older she is learning to understand and manage her feelings and emotions. The scars are still there though.

To that end I also agree that in the OPs case it's perfectly understandable that this is posted in the MH topic which I hope is a safer space than some of the other areas of Mumsnet!

Yes me. You are not alone.
My son was diagnosed in 2020 but I didint realise he or I were "different" until
Then.
It's been a weird path to tread since then and I've done nothing about it for myself. However I need to fo something As im struggling in many areas of my life. One of our friends has recently started meds and picking up the bits of his life which he was struggling with. So I will need to do something soon!!!