Parents and carers of anxious kids/teens(part5)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi guys
Just spotted we have filled another thread!
I started part 1 during the journey with my sons escalating anxiety
This thread is a non judgemental place to support each other
As parents and carers we recognise how hard,stressful,and often lonely,this unseen battle can be.others dismissing small wins as the norm for most etc
Please feel free to offload here,share your small wins,take the support and comfort this thread brings

Yep.early and in icy foggy conditions terrifies me as drives like frustrated formula one contender(has to negotiate country roads too).D's text me when arrived at school so least know he's there in one piece!

@Runnerduck the rollercoaster ups & downs you described the other day resonated. It's almost worse when you think things are getting better & the subsequent crash is that much more distressing.

DS has gone in for his first day schooling as up until now it's been online. Though he did go in for one lesson yesterday. He was studying frantically & didn't tell me it was his actual music Btec exam 🤦🏼‍♀️until I asked him. He just said he had a test.
Well... he can repeat it in June I guess.
He's missed all the last term so 🤷🏼

Different taxi driver.his wife(escort) and him spoke own language entire trip
He wasn't told picking up another student after him
New route,full car
His day was Not Good
Still haven't sorted his English queries,maybe Monday they said
I'm starting to get more than just A Bit Annoyed

Zoo, not surprised you are annoyed!
Sounds awful your poor DS. How on earth do LA expect anxious DC to thrive with this added stress?
Fferny that sounds like brilliant progress, fingers crossed for Monday and for exam result. Its fantastic he was so motivated and tried really hard.
Leap, you're completely right about school visit, I think LA are putting pressure on him, now worried he will backtrack on what he said on phone even after visit.
Hope the weekend brings some relief and relaxation for everyone without school pressures.

I may n/c soon. If someone new starts talking to you all familiar the just roll with it ;)

Love hearing about special interests BTW!

OK Anne, daresay we will probably be able to tell who it is!
Sometimes I think I give away too much in this thread lol!

Fferny I hope yesterday went well.

Zoo do you have a placement for next year in mind? Do they take Y11?

Runner that’s why I use this name or a version of it for this thread and when I post on a couple of other MH threads, and have a separate name for posting elsewhere. Although no doubt some reading can spot me.

Have you followed up your phone call with an email?

Anne DS3’s true special interest at the moment is war, conflict and politics, but we have a rule that DS3 doesn’t discuss this at, among other places, school.

Slightly concerned that dd is in an up phase. She has assessments toward ehcp provision in a few weeks. What if they don't pick up all of her needs?

War as a special interest is cool.
Dd into criminology at the moment. Watching every episode of Criminal Minds, looking into serial killers and even doing an online course about criminal psychology. Amazing she can be that motivated in this area but not so much for school...

I think you have to trust they will see through masking and realise not all days are good days.

Tiktokcat DS3 has his eyes set on KCL’s War Studies degree. An online criminology course sounds interesting.

Tikokcat that was my concern too, DDs very good as masking but in the reports done so far my fear has been unfounded.
DDs special interests are crystals/rocks, anime and Gemption ( online game may not have spelt it right!)

DD did so well today,she attended first session of a weekly art group with a friend for 3!!! hours and it was in the morning!!
Of course she was exhausted and drained ,fell asleep instantly and I'm struggling to wake her up and keep her awake so her sleep pattern isn't totally ruined again but just so proud of her.
But wary of falling into
the trap @fferny1 so wait and see if she also makes next week's session.

Hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you all, will be thinking of you in particular Zoo, fingers crossed no transport issues

@Runnerduck34 Genshin Impact is DD2's current favourite too. She loves gaming, always has and has a huge amount of knowledge present and historical. Anime and Manga enjoyed by DD1 and DD2 also.

runnerthanks I am assuming the earlier arrival is new time needs to be ready now the collect another student and need pace D's accordingly to assure he's ready
Til dd2 obsessed criminal minds.she used to be for law and order svu and can do the first 19 seasons by title and season/episode if you give her a vague reference to the content...she also loves CSI
Lil zoo obsessed serial killers.at 14 I try to limit what she watches but she devours anything she can get passed me.the why is her fascination rather than the crimes themselves.shes very analytical and methodical and would probably do well in forensic science or profiling etc

Hi,

Name change for this - can I join please? DS14 recently diagnosed with ASD, very anxious, currently going into school very reluctantly.

I (as I am sure you all could too) could write a book about his anxiety.

Currently he is fixated with believing he has done something terrible that will ruin the rest of his life. Mostly it's based upon things he has learned are 'illegal' in PSHE. He has not done anything illegal btw, but is so black and white in his interpretation of the laws he thinks he has broken and immediately jumps to the highest level of punishment for the crimes he believes he has committed. I am exhausted with it all and so worried about him, as soon as we are able to convince him he has not done anything wrong he finds another 'crime' he believes he has committed.

I'm sure I'm not making much sense but it's a relief to be able to share it somewhere safe.

mumofone welcome
Do you have anyone to talk to in RL?
We offer a listening ear and sympathy as it's truly exhausting sometimes.what do you do to look after yourself?

I am FUMING
taxi turned up at 755 literally as the girls were going out there were" D's taxi is here.."
Luckily he was dressed but still had scurry shoes on etc and left stressed and flustered
Another taxi appeared at 820.no escort,broken English didn't seem to understand one already collected him...they continue to talk in own language ignoring students(think husband and wife?) And we've had 2different drivers recently leaving him very upset.
I spoke to school,the student they collect first was knocked for at 7am!they collected number 3 and were buzzing school to be let in 830,when not ment be there til 9.school said we get no where it's parents who need to kick off tho we have complained.
Left very cross email and I got an automatic reply will be handled within 10 days.better be faster than that or giblets will be wrenched from somebodies person!!!

Welcome mumofoneASD. Are the school providing any support?

Runner Muddling have either of you heard of Mindjam?

Runner I always wanted gemstones/crystals to become a special interest of one of mine so I can buy them the National Geographic kits. Alas, none of them have ever shown the slightest interest, sadly.

To couteract DS3’s serious special interests, DS1’s is Lego, we are overrun with the stuff.

Zoo sorry you are having more transport problems.

@1leapforward2back - I haven't heard of Mindjam, now intrigued

MindJam offers therapy type help via gaming, game design, coding and digital music and art creation. Working with whatever the child can cope with, including knowing it can vary session to session and within a session, and whatever interests them. It can be included in the EHCP. Dan is brilliant and very helpful. I think they have a waiting list at the moment but it does move relatively quickly compared to other waiting lists.

The above sounds like an advert, but I don’t have anything to do with MindJam or know Dan personally.

Oh yes, mine has done law and order too...

The taxi pick up sounds a nightmare. Hope the complaint is listened to.

Dd off sick today. Tired, nausea, headache and has developed rash on face. I am preying not shingles. Will see what next day brings

Hi everyone, can I join?

I have 2 kids with mental health problems. DS is 15 and we are starting off down the pathway of dealing with what we think is anxiety. He has been saying for some time about how he feels worthless and unhappy and things have escalated somewhat recently. He threatened to throw himself off the school roof and since then we have been allocated a social worker and fast tracked to CAHMS.

We had family over at Christmas and he was so bad he refused to even leave his room, shaking and crying. These family members cause quite a lot of conflict and I think it’s that that made him anxious, he can’t do conflict of any kind. Even me ragging him to get up in the morning can cause a bit of a meltdown.

We are currently waiting for CBT and he has a prescription for Beta blockers.

Add to that, I have an 18yr old DD with borderline anorexia and depression. She is on fluoxetine and has severe health anxiety. She is always scrabbling around for the next thing to be diagnosed with and it’s exhausting.

I feel like I’m failing because I don’t understand any of it and find myself getting frustrated, as well as jealous of friends who’s kids are flying and enjoying life. It feels like a really long road ahead.

tik hope DD is ok today
Leap your knowledge of treatments available seems limitless mindjam sounds such an amazing resource!

Barry welcome aboard
Life sounds very difficult at the moment for you.i have 3dc at home still,all with what's been described as "varying complex needs" by health professionals.all have anxiety in varying degrees along other stuff so I totally understand how relentless it can be(and having had the eating disorders team with us a bit the stress the can of worms adds too)
First up YOU ARE NOT FAILING.iys totally natural to see other DC and want the same for yours and to feel frustrated it's not happening
The key to remember is just because it's not happening right now isn't laid in stone it never will.we all do things at different paces and MHcan throw curve balls that can feel like opportunities are diminished but the reality is never so black and white
I've learned to roll with it more(takes practise).the biggest thing we all want is for our children to be happy well adjusted adults.academic potential won't be a factor for some,and that's ok.accepting that can be hard but I'd rather my DC were in a better place mentally than burning out with stress of juggling trying to "have it all"
Do you have friends/family support in real life?
We are always here if you need s place to offload

Mindjam looks really interesting - think I will make enquiries, thanks Leap!