SAD/ feeling low in winter support thread

[LadyCatStark]

Hi all, after reading some unhelpful comments on another thread where someone is struggling, I wondered if anyone would like to join me in a SAD support thread for anyone who is feeling low now that winter is coming, whether you have a SAD diagnosis or not.

Disclaimer: I know anyone can post anything they like on a public forum but please, out of respect for those of us who are really struggling, don’t come on this thread to tell us how much you love winter, hygge, snuggling, hot chocolate or twinkly lights or tell us that we’ll feel better if only we change our mindset.

Please feel free to share your feelings, good or bad, tell us about your day or share tips for things that help (or don’t). Hopefully we can all help each other get through this winter!

I could be wrong but I think the the sad lamp works on the eyes?

Gosh @stilldumdedumming that’s really tough for you. I hope you have some support to help you.

It was the first morning that it was dark when we got up this morning. The puppy was very confused!

@PinkWaterBottle2021

I could be wrong but I think the the sad lamp works on the eyes?

Yes I think this too.

Thank you @Ulysses and @LadyCatStark. I did have a better night. I need to leave (more accurately he needs to leave here), but I do love him and his family are zero help and he won't be able to do it by himself- just the practicalities of getting benefits sorted and somewhere to live etc as he can't read or write now or speak to people he doesn't already know. God I feel like a cow just thinking about it. But he was on his last warning.

Re The wintering book. It's a personal account of a winter where she had to stop work and basically all her plans. It seems that she quite likes winter anyway and seeks out frozen places but also people that have had some kind of experience where they have to stop.

I thought I was at this stage in September with overwork and multiple hospital admissions for dd and dp.

What strikes me though is that there's an element that we don't follow the seasons because we just carry on. Which takes us away from our nature. We just carry on with artificial light and heat (I am not suggesting we turn the heating off!) but there is something in it that makes me stop and think.

We should perhaps sleep differently, make the most of dry days or the light...that sort of thing.

@stilldumdedumming you need to do what’s best for you as well as him. You can still support him I guess but not live together. I’m sure there’s another MNer in exactly the same position but I have no idea what her thread was called to search for it.

@stilldumdedumming sorry you are going through this. You definitely need to put yourself first and do what's right for you both.

@SirChenjins nothing like a concealed bug in the loo roll

Oh my goodness, I think you're right, and that SAD lights work through affecting your eyes 🙈. I've been using mine at work again for a while now.

@UnfinishedBunting I’ve had mine on for a couple of weeks. I’ve no idea if it’s working as I’m literally throwing everything at my mental health this winter!

On my run this morning I was thinking of some resolutions and wondered if anyone else wanted to make some and keep each other on track.

Mine are:

To up my exercise to an hour a day, plus dog waking (this won’t start til my exercise equipment comes).
To be more sociable and make the effort to get in touch with people or instigate plans (I have already arranged to meet up with a friend who loves far away and our DS’s at half term and agreed to go to a Christmas party night with people from our street).
To eat properly and eat when I’m hungry instead of starving myself and then eating chocolate!

No, I'm never sure if it works either, possibly because I tend to use it when I'm generally looking after myself, so I probably feel slightly better anyway.

And yes to exercise - I run sporadically, and it's a huge boost to my MH.

How’s everyone’s days been? It’s been a miserable day here and both of my work appointments cancelled due to illness. I managed to get a run in during lunch time then after work/ school DS and I went to see my sister for her birthday. By the time we got home it was dark so it’s a good thing I gave the dog a good walk this morning as he was unimpressed with his first dark walk!

Went for a really long run today - day off. Met with friends for some of it. Was lovely. Had a bath then fell asleep. A good sleep though although I woke myself up farting

Thank god I was alone. It keeps making me laugh though so yeah - a good day

Resolutions sounds a great idea I'm sure I will think of a few! Definitely need keeping on track.

Weather was rainy and a bit chilly here but I've been feeling weirdly warm the last 2 days. I bought myself a new paint set today so hopefully I can start my life long passion of painting again as I haven't touched paint in the last few years.

Miserable day here. Work too busy to even think straight. Then too tired at home to do much except waste time on the internet 😜.

I only got out of the house to take DD to childminders and back so feeling less than energetic.

Im sorry things seem to be at rock bottom with your husband Dumdedumming . It sounds such a difficult situation you have been in for so long and one requiring profession care.

I do remember that part from Wintering about moving in sync with the seasons. It gives me a bit of comfort when I don’t have energy at night time. I’d go to bed now but can hear the DDs mucking about.

How’s everyone today? I’ve been feeling pretty crap today. I think it’s definitely the change in the weather and I forgot to take my vitamins for a couple of days. I’m definitely feeling fed up of those mindless jobs around the house that never actually get finished before there’s more to do, the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen, washing etc. It doesn’t help that no one does a thing to help me around the house. Now that I’m taking antidepressants, DH expects me to be cheerful all off the time, which is surely not possible even for those who aren’t depressed!

LadyCatStark, that sounds difficult - is your DH always cheerful? Thanks for the reminder about multivitamins.

I've had a better day thanks - work was OK, and I just had my Covid booster vaccine. I hope my arm isn't too sore tomorrow.

@UnfinishedBunting haha no he’s certainly not!

@LadyCatStark I hear you ! I dream of a minimalist space and only my mess to clean up.

Today I walked miles and got my flu jab. The car needed a single bulb to pass the MOT @£6 (I've had it 3 years and it cost me £500!!!)

I also finished putting my dd's wardrobe together. My first flat pack adventure. And I want to tell dp as he would normally do it- but he's opting for drinking bottles of whisky and refusing food rather than talking to me. I think this is it for us. I still love him but I am not willing to sacrifice myself. It is very painful. I will miss him so much.

Hi, I'm looking for some support with SADS please. For me, I find it's the association of the darkness and how that's made me feel in the past. So for example, when I was teaching full time, it never really bothered me as I worked til late anyway and had people around me. But when I had my ds, he was born in September 18, I felt a sense of new mum isolation even more in the winter darkness.
This year, I had dd who is 3 months old now and I can feel the SADS anxiety creeping in again.
I do suffer with postnatal depression/anxiety and I'm on Sertraline. I think I really struggle with the feeling of being trapped insude in the winter or trapped in darkness.

I was trying to think of ways to help myself yesterday... I thought of...

Putting fairy lights in the garden so I'm not just looking out onto darkness.
Invest in a good winter coat to embrace any weather.
Have pretend summer days when it's sunny or milder, e.g. go to the beach, an evening walk, a picnic in the garden.
Observe the beauty of those winter sunrise and sunsets.
Observe every minute of light after the 21st December - the has always given me a sense of hope in the past looking towards spring.
Put flowers in the house for colour or put colourful winter plants outside.
Arrange evenings out where possible.
Go on an evening drive to drive thru Starbucks for a hot chocolate.

Any other suggestions would be great? X

@mag2305 a good list. Can you get outside as many days as possible? When my children were little that was literally a walk to the coop for a tin of tomatoes! Nothing grand just an excuse to get out.

Also lists can be a bit full of expectations and obligations for me, so I would add something that is very kind to me. Like sometimes to do very little in the day or get a proper rest (I do yoga and yoga nidra) - I know that can feel a bit counter productive especially when you have PND. I used to congratulate myself for having a bath with the baby!

I love the idea of lighting the garden. I have temperamental fairy lights that randomly came on yesterday.

That’s a lovely list. I absolutely have to leave the house each day. Whatever happens it’s essential.

That’s interesting about having babies adding to that association. Both mine were winter born and that really resonates. Long dull days with broken nights and a feeling of hopelessness (also had pnd). It’s shit.

Hello everyone new and old :) that's really interesting re the babies in winter association. Congrats on the baby and that's a really good list. Definitely try and get a walk in every day it really helps I just go to tesco but it helps me.

I'm currently in the first month ttc so am stressed about that and dreading the real cold weather coming.

I love that list :)

Have heard of the wintering book, must look it up. I really agree I think we've lost something in losing touch with the seasons so directly...I also find it helps to acknowledge the extra daylight after midwinter.

I'm finding things really difficult this week with anxiety attacks - its so difficult because they stop you from doing the things that make you feel better. It's grey today but I'm really going to push to get some fresh air at lunchtime.

I had a November baby too, after having been depressed during a difficult pregnancy, terrible PND, on top of SAD. I agree that getting out every day is really important too
For me it's between now and Christmas that's as rapid descent. Love the ideas being suggested, I'm trying to get signed up onto various craft courses/days locally as a distraction, as well as the opportunity to meet new people

@pinkwaterbottle2021 the daylight lightbulbs aren't the same as those in SAD bulbs, so they're not used as light therapy.
I dislike them anyway, they make the room so cold!

Prefer just lots of lamps with good quality warm light bulbs tbh!