Anyone awake??

[Strugglingalone]

I’m really struggling, it’s come on so suddenly today, I was fine this morning and by late afternoon the thoughts to overdose were overwhelming

I just need to talk to someone, I don’t really care about what, I am home alone and my head is winning right now, I’m struggling to fight this

I'm here op willing to talk about anything at all the help you out. I'm currently eyeing my daughter's toy pile she has way too much stuff and doesn't play with it all. Trying to figure out when I could sneak a lot of it into a bag for charity without her noticing! Also looking at all the cobwebs on the ceiling and the paint that needs to be freshened up and thinking it can wait till September when the kids are back at school and I have the house to myself again

Hi op have you tried shout? Trained volunteers will chat through text
giveusashout.org/get-help/how-shout-works/

Hehe waiting till the kids are back at school sounds like a good plan

I am lying in the dark but I can’t switch off to sleep, my head is racing, the plans are getting more fixed, I can’t control it today

@MyDcAreMarvel yes! About half an hour ago and they said they couldn’t see why I was texting and they closed the conversation

Also I don't know if it will help but I find music a great way to escape . When it all gets too much for me I listen to and make playlists on YouTube I find it both distracting and soothing . I always find loads if different songs that I've forgotten about and it always puts me in a better mood. Either that or I just blast some loud rock music on the earphones and forget about everything for a while

Im here. Trying to sleep but my mind is racing. Is there one small step you can take away from the edge? It can just be an inch, a teeny one. What do you like to eat for breakfast?

Oh wow that lot sound helpful don't they sorry that they dismissed you like that op. As I said making pretend playlists is a great distraction and I always enjoy reading YouTube comments on my favorite songs, people can be very witty and raise a smile

I can’t cope with my music in my house I’m afraid @IWishIWasABaller 😕 when I’m outside it’s a different matter and I need music to even get out my front door but inside it really winds me up and gets me really anxious! Aren’t I a strange one!

@SeaToSki I’m not much of a breakfast eater, I don’t eat a whole lot when I’m struggling, it will either be a hot cross bun (on a good day) or chocolate or a biscuit on a not so good day

What helps you to chill and zone out. Sometimes cooking does that for me, sometimes its making lists of stuff to do.

@Strugglingalone I don't listen to music now either, get what you mean.

Oooo hot cross buns, I havent had one in years…Im in the US and they dont sell them here. Do you like the modern flavors (US spelling there 🤣) ones or old fashioned plain ones

That's ok what soothes one person ,won't work for another what does relax you normally, what gives you joy ?

Do you read OP?

I know when I have a 'head fog' and I'm really struggling to control my emotions and do even the basics like eat and wash, one of the things I can do is bury my head in a book and escape into it for a few hours. It usually helps 'zero' my mind and acts as a bit of a tranquiliser.

I'm here to op. You are not alone. We are here to listen in the darkness of night. Things always seem harder in the dark but each minute that passes brings us closer to dawn .

Normal flavoured hot cross buns only, I’m a bit routined with lots of things, that being one of them

I am really struggling with distractions - all my usual things haven’t worked for the past few months, been raising it with mh services but they just tell me to try them all again

Pretty much the only thing that sort of works is having the tv on in the background but I only watch it on catch up via a tablet and my internet has gone down so feeling even more trapped (relying on 4g at the moment)

Oh good, a fellow normal flavor person. I also like a good routine, it helps the day go more smoothly. Are you an outdoor wind in your face kind of person or indoor snuggling on the sofa? Although having asked which extreme you like, I must admit to liking both extremes myself.

I have an urge for hot cross buns now! Suddenly starving at nearly 2am!
@strugglingalone do you find nights harder than the daytime?

Ahh. I have a little one calling me, I’m going to sign off for a bit OP. There are some other vipers here to keep you company. Keep going, it just takes one step at a time. Sending you a un mumsnet hug

Generally inside, the more I’m struggling the more I hide away from people and struggle to leave the house

Yes unfortunately but this started about mid afternoon and has just got progressively worse so not always 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have posted, thoughts are now going crazy that I’ve talked about it, that the secrets out, I should have kept quiet

False alarm, Im back.

The secrets not out, you have just shared a little..leant on a friendly shoulder.

Im strong, you can lean on me for a while. Do you want me to carry any of your load for a while while you have a breather? Just for a few minutes if thats what you prefer?

@SeaToSki Thanks, just feel I shouldn’t have given everyone that pressure

I honestly don’t know what to do