I understand why people have enough of life ***MNHQ content warning***

[enoughforme]

Many people act like it's terrible and how could someone feel so low to do that. I get it.

I can understand why someone thinks - fuck this.

I don't want to offend anyone by this post I just honestly feel like that, and I wonder is it weird?

I don't think it's a mystery and can totally understand why someone gets to the point of thinking I don't really want to bother with this anymore.

Perhaps I am abnormal thinking this way, I don't know. I'd never personally commit suicide because I'd be scared and also would worry for others - but I don't feel particularly I love life to the extent where I want to cling to it either.

Sorry if this post offends anyone it wasn't the intention but just wandering if I'm abnormal with my thoughts.

I get it, I feel the same. Personally I come from a poor country where some people cannot afford shoes for their children to go to school. My parents dug themselves out of poverty and my aim was to get a really good career, in a foreign stable country, and I've done that. I have money, stability and a good life partner. I'm exhausted. Everything seems pointless. The highs are great and many but short lived. I frequently find myself thinking why go through these motions, what's the point? I'm not special, I'm not going to make a difference in the world, I'm not enjoying life all that much, I think most people are pretty self absorbed can't be bothered with them. Humanity as a whole is pretty evil and unforgiving. We've got arseholes enjoying their super yachts in the Mediterranean and billions of people with no food or hope for tomorrow.

@Draineddraineddrained selfish reasons I guess. But I believe why anyone has kids - it's not like we need more people on the planet so people just have them to get something out of or else there would be no benefit?

It can be a slog. Also find it surprising when people seem incapable of understanding why someone might end their life. Like, really? I can totally understand, especially with the constant parade of tragedy that some people I know or read about have been through.
I’m not depressed, I wouldn’t say, but I think there are fewer things I derive pure joy from nowadays, and dealing with the constant drip, or river, of stress that is work and family can just be tiring and tedious. Hanging on for little snippets of fun and free time just seems like a bum deal.
Have some health concerns at the moment and was just thinking that if it is very serious how I would feel and whether that would jolt me into being more “life is a precious gift to fight for!” Or if I would be “ah well…at least I have life insurance and everyone will be taken care of”.

I’ve never felt suicidal but have occasionally thought if I didn’t wake up it would be ok.

The husband of an acquaintance has recently committed suicide. Similar circumstances to the chap who was in the Essex show. His wife has been left to deal with the fall out in every way. I’m torn as to how I feel

@Coachradley

I envy those that are religious and believe in heaven. For them this life temporary and it’s all about the reward of heaven.

I don't. I don't want an eternal life as me. No way.

I've often had those thoughts. Covid actually made me think abit differently as freedoms to do things were taken away...what is the purpose of this life.

So I came to my own conclusion that for me I now see that having been born is a privilege in itself, that I should experience all this world has to offer and I mena in the sense of go travel and see what this planet is about. Everything else like jobs etc its a social construct designed im.sure initially with good intentions to allow people to survive but has morphed over centuries into something very restrictive and if you grt so caught up in it you forget that (depending on your beliefs) this is a possible one time experience of being on this planet. I dont believe in reincarnation.

So as soon as its viable I'll be within reason putting emphasis on doing more travelling to experience and see this planet im on. Of course since the construcr of living in this world means I need money ill have to have a job etc. But most definitely my perspective has shifted to wanting to have more experiences and explore.

I’m really glad you started this thread OP as I often thought it was just me. If I didn’t have my DC I probably would have ended my life before now but not because I am bored with life but because I am exhausted all of the time, I am grateful for everything I have but I generally just have bad luck constantly and life is always a battle and also I sometimes struggle to cope with all the bad things going on in the works like I’d rather just not be a part of it.

@Fearless9286

I lost a family member to suicide and spent a lot of time reading about this topic in an attempt to understand why they had chosen to take their own life. A lot of suicide survivors and mental health professionals described the choice to complete suicide not so much as no longer wanting to live, but as wanting to end pain they experienced due to a mental illness.

What you describe sounds like passive suicidal ideation, thoughts of life ending but with no active plans to end your own life if that makes sense. This is with the caveat that I am 100% not a mental health professional and I would recommend speaking to Samaritans or similar support services if you ever feel you are at risk or just want to chat through your thoughts.

Even if you might think your going would have no impact, I have seen first hand the huge, gaping hole that is left behind. The added guilt of "What if I had done/said....." that comes with a bereavement through suicide can torment your friends and family for years to come.

I do agree with PP who said that death is such a taboo topic, considering it is inevitable for all of us at some stage. I'd recommend a book called "We All Know How This Ends" that helps explain death in a factual yet sensitive way.

I've had friends that committed suicide. You always feel that you should have done more but sometimes you can't. The whole not wishing to be born is obvious but doesn't help as we're already born. Saying to speak to someone seems like a nice idea but it's not always helpful. Especially when you already know that others value you but you still can't see any purpose in existing. I know or at least think that I used to be nicer, more sunny, more sociable and now I mostly can't be bothered. I'll procrastinate to not do anything I actually want to do but it's all part of my depression. When I was in my 20's I wouldn't go on girls' nights out as I knew my mood would bring them all down when I had depression. Not wishing to exist is a lot more common than people think and I a growing population doesn't help either. You can still be lonely in room full of friends. Hope is a nice thought yet often hard to have and really believe in.

@NoMoreCovidPlease

I get it, I feel the same. Personally I come from a poor country where some people cannot afford shoes for their children to go to school. My parents dug themselves out of poverty and my aim was to get a really good career, in a foreign stable country, and I've done that. I have money, stability and a good life partner. I'm exhausted. Everything seems pointless. The highs are great and many but short lived. I frequently find myself thinking why go through these motions, what's the point? I'm not special, I'm not going to make a difference in the world, I'm not enjoying life all that much, I think most people are pretty self absorbed can't be bothered with them. Humanity as a whole is pretty evil and unforgiving. We've got arseholes enjoying their super yachts in the Mediterranean and billions of people with no food or hope for tomorrow.

Without people having super yachts in the Mediterranean even more people would be starving. Look at your communist countries, people are still starving when you take away the luxuries... You need those luxuries to incentivize people to produce.

But back to the OP.. I think you just need some more challenge and mental stimulation. I just keep going. Do another degree, work on a social problem, start a business, etc.

Even today I have bad days but most of my life has been emotional shit, it’s only once I got into my 40s ditched the toxic family who tried after my first Marriage to treat me as if I was 21 and tel me I wasn’t normal, watched too many films, liked medical stuff, it’s been a bloody hard slog, today at least the people around me I do care about, I watch what I want read what I want, wear what I want, my first tattoo was a vs up to the family, the 007 logo. No I know what you mean, still hard work some days dh has health issues we both do (long story). But I still plod on,

@missbunnyrabbit please just hang on! ❤️

Completely agree

@Shelddd I completely agree but I don't care enough about anything to do a project study etc.

Again without being gladly but I've started a few businesses already, passed many exams and achieved a lot - there's nothing else I care to do. Perhaps a case of too much too soon or I should have set higher goals 🤷‍♀️

I want nobody to know I ever existed. I can't think of life as anything other than something to be endured.

I feel like that a lot. Except with feeling suicidal.

People talk about hope, but for some of us there genuinely is none. Realising that is actually more painful than all the other horrendous shit in my life.

I lost my husband to suicide 3 years ago and I often feel like this, both before and after his death. I've got used to it - it tends to be a feeling of wanting escape from living, not a longing for death.

However, since his death I do know that suicide is very hard work! I don't have the physical strength he had, and he was extremely ill, I know I couldn't do what he did.

Op, I'm mid 30 and feel absolutely the same as you.

In fact, if it wasnt for a few close family ties who need me, it would be incredibly easy to go through with. I'm not even depressed, no history or anxiety or anything to that effect anymore.

Just. Cannot. Be. Bothered.

We all die? So really, what's the point. I hardly even get stressed about things that happen day to day, they all resolve.

Then you die anyway?

Debt? You die.
Relationship break down? Really... who cares.
Didn't get the job? ...meh, there's others out there.
Partner is a dick... most people are?

Youre going to die anyway, and in a couple of generations nobody will remember you anyway. Meaning you legacy is null and void.

It's all extremely pointless...

Except for existing to destroy the planet anyway?

.....hope youre all having a lovely day

@Yellowcrockpot

Op, I'm mid 30 and feel absolutely the same as you.

In fact, if it wasnt for a few close family ties who need me, it would be incredibly easy to go through with. I'm not even depressed, no history or anxiety or anything to that effect anymore.

Just. Cannot. Be. Bothered.

We all die? So really, what's the point. I hardly even get stressed about things that happen day to day, they all resolve.

Then you die anyway?

Debt? You die.
Relationship break down? Really... who cares.
Didn't get the job? ...meh, there's others out there.
Partner is a dick... most people are?

Youre going to die anyway, and in a couple of generations nobody will remember you anyway. Meaning you legacy is null and void.

It's all extremely pointless...

Except for existing to destroy the planet anyway?

.....hope youre all having a lovely day

For those of you who feel it's all pointless life..

Why not go pure hedonistic life rather than clocking out early. May as well enjoy excessive amounts of drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.

@Shelddd see funnily enough I actually don't drink/do drugs/eat too much crap etc because I I worry that I'll be the unlucky fucker that lives until 100 but in really poor health because I abused my body so end up more miserable

@Yellowcrockpot sorry I know may not be the intention and it's a serious thread but your post made me laugh!

Some people just have enough.

I feel like this most of the time.

I tried to kill myself in 2009 and broke my back.

I made the choice to try again with my life, got a degree and qualified as a teacher.

Could not get a job anywhere.

Since lockdown I have barely the house as I now have no life, absolutelt nothing.

I have never, ever read a thread that I've related to as much as this one. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember, I never realised there were so many others who felt the same way.

Yup I totally get it. Especially when people feel trapped in their own bodies and lives

@YourStarlessEyes I'm supposed so many people feel the same too. And I can't blame Covid for my personal feeling as I've been like this for years.

I'm pleased theres a safe space created here for people to discuss without judgement as it isn't possible IRL, at least not for me.

*surprised