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Original poster

I understand why people have enough of life ***MNHQ content warning***

140 replies

enoughforme · 26/07/2021 21:51

Many people act like it's terrible and how could someone feel so low to do that. I get it.

I can understand why someone thinks - fuck this.

I don't want to offend anyone by this post I just honestly feel like that, and I wonder is it weird?

I don't think it's a mystery and can totally understand why someone gets to the point of thinking I don't really want to bother with this anymore.

Perhaps I am abnormal thinking this way, I don't know. I'd never personally commit suicide because I'd be scared and also would worry for others - but I don't feel particularly I love life to the extent where I want to cling to it either.

Sorry if this post offends anyone it wasn't the intention but just wandering if I'm abnormal with my thoughts.

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Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 22:47

@Amandasummers what was his reaction?

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Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 22:48

@DancyNancy 👍

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plumdeplum · 26/07/2021 22:50

I get this too. My life has been full of tragedy and trauma and I have really had enough. I feel trapped into staying alive for other people. If I were alone I would not be here. I have had enough.

FallingStar21 · 26/07/2021 22:51

I feel like that quite a bit too, OP. No passions or excitement or looking forward to anything. For me it's feeling increasingly uncomfortable and sad living in the prison cell of this artificial, unhealthy and wrong world we've created here on Earth. The pain and suffering we inflict, the selfishness, materialism and emptiness of it all... Doubt I'd feel any better as i grow older either Sad

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 22:52

Everyone i know and meet seems to not feel this way, sometimes I feel like everyone is going to tell em the truth and say 'haha it's all a lie and we feel the same!' But that never happens - my DH pretends he sometimes feels like it but he's buzzing all the time so he just says it so I don't feel so bad I think!

He tells me I don't do enough to mentally stimulate myself and in my own worst enemy

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Fearless9286 · 26/07/2021 22:53

I lost a family member to suicide and spent a lot of time reading about this topic in an attempt to understand why they had chosen to take their own life. A lot of suicide survivors and mental health professionals described the choice to complete suicide not so much as no longer wanting to live, but as wanting to end pain they experienced due to a mental illness.

What you describe sounds like passive suicidal ideation, thoughts of life ending but with no active plans to end your own life if that makes sense. This is with the caveat that I am 100% not a mental health professional and I would recommend speaking to Samaritans or similar support services if you ever feel you are at risk or just want to chat through your thoughts.

Even if you might think your going would have no impact, I have seen first hand the huge, gaping hole that is left behind. The added guilt of "What if I had done/said....." that comes with a bereavement through suicide can torment your friends and family for years to come.

I do agree with PP who said that death is such a taboo topic, considering it is inevitable for all of us at some stage. I'd recommend a book called "We All Know How This Ends" that helps explain death in a factual yet sensitive way.

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 22:53

@FallingStar21

I feel like that quite a bit too, OP. No passions or excitement or looking forward to anything. For me it's feeling increasingly uncomfortable and sad living in the prison cell of this artificial, unhealthy and wrong world we've created here on Earth. The pain and suffering we inflict, the selfishness, materialism and emptiness of it all... Doubt I'd feel any better as i grow older either Sad
Exactly this. I'm defiantly getting much much worse with age. My DH says I'm becoming very miserable.
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enoughforme · 26/07/2021 22:56

@Fearless9286 sorry for your loss and thank you I found your post very insightful.

That's why I apologised in my post as I hoped someone who had a loved one gone through it doesn't feel offended by my post.

You're right, I do believe I'd leave behind some very upset and guilty people if I did anything but I'm no where near doing it like I said I'd be too scared. If someone said at the click of a finger you could have never been born / that's a while other scenario and I'd possibly take that option.

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Fearless9286 · 26/07/2021 23:00

Absolutely no offence caused. Better to get these thoughts out in a supportive environment than go round and round thinking there is something wrong with you! The way you feel is totally valid.

I think the crazy 18 months we've all survived aren't helping anyone. Hugs to you and I hope you find something that ignites your love of life again. Its not always easy to find, even when everything seems 'fine' on paper.

LopsidedWombat · 26/07/2021 23:01

I think it is very normal to have an existential crisis, especially during a time when we are forced to examine our lives, be that due to a personal circumstance or a global pandemic. For me it's the simple things that help, combined with having a sick sense of humour. I really do enjoy the absolute absurdity of life as well. These coping mechanisms have been built over many, many years though and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another. It doesn't help that feeling this way is often seen as a taboo though which results in any conversation about it being swiftly shut down.

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 23:03

Its not always easy to find, even when everything seems 'fine' on paper.

Absolutely and when everything appears fine on paper you have the added guilt of feeling ungrateful and also more abnormal because everything should be 'fine'

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alliwantisabitofpeace · 26/07/2021 23:05

I absolutely feel like this.. I just think what is the point of being here at times. I do the same thing day in day out. Im a single mum, work in a mind numbing job I had to take after covid meant I was made redundant from the job I loved. I have a mountain of debt, a beautiful 10yo daughter who has bad separation anxiety, her dad has absolutely no respect for me what so ever (I no longer speak to him). I have no life left in me. I spend most of my days thinking what's the point of all of this!

Newbornandupwards · 26/07/2021 23:06

Absolutely and when everything appears fine on paper you have the added guilt of feeling ungrateful and also more abnormal because everything should be 'fine'

So true x

StarlingsDarlings · 26/07/2021 23:07

I know what you mean. Fairly often the thought of not being here would be… a relief.

Fearless9286 · 26/07/2021 23:08

The daily grind really can grind you down. Bills, chores, work, kids......Someone once told me an analogy that really made it click. If someone asked you to hold a glass of water at arms length for a few minutes, you could totally do it and not be too uncomfortable. If someone asked you to hold that same glass for 4 hours in the same position, your arm would feel like it was going to fall off. Its not the weight of your glass, it's how long you have to hold it for Flowers

Amboseli · 26/07/2021 23:09

@enoughforme thank you for starting this thread.

I feel like this. I don't want to and wouldn't kill myself. But I'm kind of done with life. I've done everything I'd like to do and it's all very repetitive now. No excitement or anything new. And agree with pp about how pointless everything is, consumerism and production of tat nobody needs and destroying the planet and habitat of innocent animals in the process.

I have no idea why some people are so keen to try and live as long as possible. I wouldn't be at all bothered if I went tomorrow.

Fudgein · 26/07/2021 23:10

I would quite like to die in my sleep tonight, and every other night to be honest. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but I don't fear death at all. I often feel this way during times of stress or upset & so I'm probably just a weak person who would rather be dead than have any problems. I struggle to enjoy life and cannot remember the last time I felt genuinely overjoyed and happy. I have a caring job and sometimes look after people who are in palliative care so it feels wrong to wish my own life away when I see others who wish for more time. I suppose its only in death you know how much someone was loved? So maybe that's what I want. To be missed and loved. I often imagine my own funeral and have chosen songs etc in my mind but I have no idea if that's wierd or not!

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 23:15

@Amboseli how old are you? I've started to feel like this since age 30. I've struggled with mental health before then and went through bad latch in my early twenties but since 30 (now late thirties) it's just so boring and I can't see what can add the love of life back in for me.

The I my major thing I haven't done yet is kids but that's a worry as it could make things a whole better or worse, it could go either way!

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notthemum · 26/07/2021 23:15

I feel like this most of the time. Around 3.30am is rough as I wake up, cant remember where I am or why and not a hells chance of any more sleep.

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 23:16

@Fudgein I totally understand and don't know what people fear it so much. I fear it actually a lot but only the Kerry if there's pain or suffering involved. If it were in my sleep I really don't think id care much at all and almost feel relieved.

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AnyOldPrion · 26/07/2021 23:18

I think it will be peaceful to be dead and I have no fear of being gone. It would hurt too many other people for me to contemplate doing anything about it though.

But I think this is a bad time for a lot of people. The western world seems to be moving in various directions that seem negative to me and on top of that, there’s a pandemic. I hope that things will swing back a bit, preferably before too long so I might be able to enjoy life a bit more.

DDIJ · 26/07/2021 23:19

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Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 23:20

@DDIJ I have on and off insomnia but I've used meditation and it's helped massively - I'm ok most nights since

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Insidelaurashead · 26/07/2021 23:20

OP and anyone else, I am a Samaritan and we are here to listen, if people have thoughts of anything like this that they're not comfortable telling their friends and family but want to discuss with a stranger. You don't need to be actively suicidal, you don't need to think you're not important to us, you are. Please call if you think talking to us would help. 116123 ❤️

Original poster
enoughforme · 26/07/2021 23:20

@Insidelaurashead thank you Thanks

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